Chaeyoung woke up the following Monday with a pit of anxiety in her stomach. The past few days had been pretty rough for both of the girls. The nightmares seemed to have come back at full speed, and Lisa had a tendency to try and hide them when they did. Chaeyoung could always tell, though.
So when she woke up to an empty bed, Chaeyoung sighed heavily. This had become a normal occurrence between them. She cursed herself for being such a heavy sleeper.
The blonde girl yawned, quietly shuffling across the hallway and slowly peering into the bathroom. As always, Lisa was on the floor with Louis in her lap. Judging by the look on the younger girl's face, she hadn't gotten much sleep that night.
Chaeyoung didn't even have to say anything. She simply sat down against the door and looked over at Lisa. When the girls met eyes, Lisa bit her lip and scooted closer to Chaeyoung. They both knew. There was no use in talking about it.
Chaeyoung wrapped an arm around her girlfriend and pulled her into her side. She was so tired of this. She was tired of seeing the girl she loved so much struggle to rid herself of her demons. Chaeyoung felt powerless.
She pressed a kiss to Lisa's temple and sighed softly. The appointment she had scheduled the week prior was today. Which meant Lisa would possibly be leaving the doctors office with a prescription that had the power to banish the nightmares.
Both girls sat in silence for a while. Louis would look up at them occasionally, purring contently before snuggling back into Lisa's lap. The Thai girl felt numb. If anything, the nightmares had only been getting worse. And she didn't know what she could do to stop them. There was so much hope riding on the appointment that day. For both of them.
"Do you wanna get breakfast?" Chaeyoung asked after a few minutes of silence. Lisa looked down at the kitten in her lap and nodded, cradling Louis in her arms.
Chaeyoung gave Lisa a soft smile, standing up and offering a hand to help Lisa to her feet. The Thai girl followed Chaeyoung down the hallway, crawling to sit on the counter once they got into the kitchen.
As Chaeyoung pulled a box of cereal out of the pantry, Lisa furrowed her eyebrows in thought. She spoke up when Chaeyoung set two bowls on the counter.
"If they are not real, why do they feel so real?"
Chaeyoung lifted her head and glanced at her girlfriend. She could see the conflicting emotions in Lisa's face. It pained her to know how confusing it must be for her.
"Cause our brains are pretty complicated," Chaeyoung laughed softly and shook her head. She poured them both two bowls of cereal and then hopped up to join Lisa on the counter. "They're good at tricking us sometimes."
"That is so stupid," Lisa huffed, crinkling her nose. She didn't like the nightmares. All she wanted was to be able to sleep without being woken up in a panic. No matter what she did, they never seemed to go away.
"I know, baby," Chaeyoung sighed and rested her chin on Lisa's shoulder, kissing her neck. "We just have to wait and see what the doctor tells us."
"I hope it helps," Lisa shivered.
"Me too, Lili," Chaeyoung gave her girlfriend a soft smile. "But if it doesn't, we'll figure something else out. We always do."
"Yeah," Lisa whispered, setting Louis down on the counter to explore while she took a bite of her cereal. They'd only had the kitten for a week, but both girls had completely fallen in love. If they hadn't already known that he was blind, they wouldn't suspect anything. The small white kitten seemed to get along just fine without his vision.
Once they finished breakfast, Lisa gently set Louis back in the bathroom before joining Chaeyoung in the bedroom. Both girls got dressed, Lisa insisting that Chaeyoung wear the yellow beanie to coordinate with her own. Of course, Chaeyoung couldn't say no.
The drive to the doctor's office was quiet. Both Chaeyoung and Lisa weren't sure what to expect. When the pulled into the parking lot, Lisa looked over at Chaeyoung worriedly.
"Don't worry," Chaeyoung laughed softly, leaning over the seat and cupping Lisa's cheeks. "I'm here. It's going to be fine. We're in this together."
"Together," Lisa nodded in affirmation.
They had barely gotten time to sit down in the waiting room when Lisa was called back. Her eyes widened, but Chaeyoung grabbed her hand and gave her a supportive smile. The Thai girl repeated the word together in her mind while they were led back to the small room.
Immediately Lisa was hit with a whirlwind of questions. She didn't even understand half of them. Why were they asking her about hallucinations? That had nothing to do with her nightmares. Chaeyoung held her hand the entire time.
The blonde girl watched as Lisa shyly answered the questions. Lisa would occasionally draw a blank, not sure what she was supposed to say. Chaeyoung would always jump in to answer for her. They made a good team.
"We don't have a medicine that targets nightmares specifically," the doctor finally said after they had finished answering questions. He flipped through an array of colorful papers in a file folder before looking back up at the girls.
"But, anti-anxiety medicines have been proven to lessen the intensity of nightmares, or even get rid of them altogether," he nodded and wrote something down. "So I think we have a good chance at combating these nightmares."
Lisa immediately turned to Chaeyoung, smiling widely. The blonde girl squeezed her girlfriend's hand.
"But we also need to have you get your blood drawn before you pick up your prescription. Just to get a baseline look at your levels before you start the medicine," he explained. Lisa glanced at Chaeyoung in confusion, but Chaeyoung just nodded.
After discussing various medicines and getting their prescription from the doctor, Chaeyoung took Lisa's hand and led her to the next building over, where the younger girl would have to get her blood drawn. Surprisingly, Lisa didn't seem too scared when Chaeyoung explained to her what they were doing.
Chaeyoung stood and watched as the nurse prepared the needle. Lisa just watched absentmindedly.
"Why don't we go get froyo after this?" Chaeyoung offered, trying to distract Lisa while the nurse slowly slid the needle into Lisa's vein. The younger girl winced slightly, but besides that, she didn't seem to care.
"Yes please," Lisa giggled, watching while the nurse covered up the small cut.
"It didn't hurt?" Chaeyoung asked in shock. Lisa furrowed her eyebrows and bent her arm a few times before shrugging.
"I have done it before," the Thai girl remembered. "I think I am used to it."
"Well I'm glad it wasn't that big of a deal then," Chaeyoung leaned down and kissed Lisa's forehead. They thanked the nurse and then headed out to the car. Lisa couldn't stop babbling about how the weather was starting to warm up.
"Hey, doofus, we're here," Chaeyoung laughed once she parked the car and Lisa continued to talk. The younger girl immediately whipped her head in Chaeyoung's direction, smiling widely and hopping out of the car.
Lisa pulled Chaeyoung into the small store, happily handing her one of the small froyo cups and studying the different flavors. Chaeyoung just stood and watched her for a few moments, finding it funny how Lisa insisted on reading each flavor when she always ended up choosing banana.
"You are slow, Rosie," Lisa giggled, walking back over to Chaeyoung and pulling her over to the machines. "What are you getting?"
"Surprise me," Chaeyoung smiled softly and switched cups with Lisa. Satisfied with her new mission, Lisa began to study the different flavors once more.
Her eyed widened when she found the birthday cake flavor, clapping her hands together happily. She filled up Chaeyoung's cup, moving over to the toppings bar and adding rainbow sprinkles. The Thai girl skipped happily over to Chaeyoung and traded cups.
"Birthday cake. Because we did not get to eat the cake on my birthday," Lisa explained with a soft smile. Chaeyoung was so endeared by her girlfriend's attention to every small detail. She leaned down and kissed Lisa's cheek.
"Perfect," she smiled, leading Lisa over to the cashier and pulling her wallet out of her purse. Lisa's eyes widened, and she quickly shook her head.
Chaeyoung watched in confusion as Lisa pulled off her beanie, retrieving a small card from within the light blue material. She presented it proudly to the cashier and tugged her beanie back onto her head.
"Happy birthday to us," Lisa smiled proudly up at Chaeyoung, whose mouth had fallen open slightly in shock. "This is a date, right?" Lisa asked, taking her cup and starting to walk over to the tables.
"I... yeah," Chaeyoung smiled, slightly enamored that Lisa had stored the gift card in her beanie. "I'd like that. Thank you, by the way," she added, sliding into one of the small chairs.
"Thank you, you're welcome," Lisa smiled widely. She liked doing nice things for people, especially Chaeyoung. The Thai girl reminded herself to thank Jennie again when they got back home.
"This is actually pretty good," Chaeyoung raised an eyebrow when she took a small bite of the frozen yogurt. Lisa clapped her hands together happily.
"I knew it would be," Lisa crinkled her nose.
Before Chaeyoung could respond, Lisa's attention was elsewhere. The blonde girl watched as Lisa bent down, picking up the small toy car that had bounced across the floor and landed at her feet.
Lisa studied the toy for a few moments. She glanced across the room at the little boy who was watching her worriedly. A small smile spread across her face and she slowly rose to her feet.
"Vroom vroom," Lisa said softly, holding out the toy and pretending to drive it back across the room. The child wasn't sure what to think for a few moments, but when Lisa set the toy back at his feet, he laughed softly.
"Thank you, lady," he smiled, bending down to pick up his toy and giving Lisa a toothy grin.
"You are welcome, kid," Lisa nodded once, padding back over to Chaeyoung with a small smile on her face.
The same smile spread across Chaeyoung's face as she watched the interaction between Lisa and the young boy. An image of Lisa as a mother flashed in her mind, and Chaeyoung sighed contently. She could easily imagine her and the younger girl growing old and raising a family together. It just made sense.
Just because Lisa was a little... exuberant, didn't mean she wouldn't be a wonderful parent, Chaeyoung realized. Hell, Lisa had taught her more about love and life than anyone else she had ever met. Chaeyoung was sure she would do the same for a child of her own, when the time came, of course.
"Banana," Lisa whispered, holding out a spoonful of her froyo and waving it in front of Chaeyoung's face. "It is good. Try it, Rosie."
Chaeyoung laughed, leaning forward and allowing Lisa to feed her the small spoonful of yellow froyo. Even though banana wasn't her favorite, she smiled softly and nodded. "It's good."
Lisa smiled widely and set her spoon back in her empty cup, around the same time that Chaeyoung finished. Both girls threw their trash away and headed back out to the car. Lisa skipped the entire way, dragging Chaeyoung along with her.
Once they got home, Lisa headed back upstairs with a new set of batteries for the keyboard, claiming she was putting on a concert for Louis. Meanwhile, Chaeyoung dragged her easel downstairs and focused on painting a cityscape from in front of the window.
Dinnertime came and went as usual. Except for one small change.
"Lili," Chaeyoung's voice rang out from the kitchen. The other four roommates were watching Friends for the millionth time. Lisa lay on the couch with her head in Jisoo's lap, nearly falling asleep.
"Lisa," Jisoo nudged the Thai girl. "Chaeyoung's calling you."
Lisa looked up slowly, blinking a few times. She smiled widely and rolled off of the couch, padding into the kitchen.
"Look," Chaeyoung held up two small circular pills. "They match your beanie."
Lisa furrowed her eyebrows. "Blue," she noted.
"You've gotta take em'," Chaeyoung handed Lisa a small cup of water. "And wish all the nightmares away."
"Forever?" Lisa took the cup and allowed Chaeyoung to place the small pills in her hands.
"Let's hope so," Chaeyoung nodded. "Remember, he said they may not kick in for a week or so. We've gotta give it some time to do its job."
Lisa nodded softly. A few moments later, she stared down at the pills in her hand and looked up at Chaeyoung questioningly. "What do I do?"
"You take them with the water, like pills, yeah?" Chaeyoung raised an eyebrow. Lisa stared at her aimlessly.
"Okay, uh," Chaeyoung shook her head and took the cup from Lisa, setting it back down. "We'll do it an easier way."
Chaeyoung retrieved a small cup of applesauce from the refrigerator and opened the tinfoil lid. After grabbing a spoon, she popped the two pills into the plastic cup and mixed it around.
"Just don't choke," Chaeyoung handed the spoon to Lisa and set the applesauce down on the counter. The Thai girl hummed in approval, nearly devouring the entire cup within minutes. Chaeyoung chuckled, realizing Lisa hadn't even struggled to take the pills.
Lisa yawned, setting the spoon down and rubbing her eyes. Chaeyoung moved forwards, placing her hands on Lisa's hips and kissing her forehead.
"Ready for bed?" Chaeyoung asked softly. Lisa nodded, yawning once more and laying her head on Chaeyoung's shoulder.
"C'mon," Chaeyoung tried to lead her towards the door but Lisa just giggled and leaned more into Chaeyoung's shoulder.
"What? Am I supposed to carry you?" Chaeyoung laughed. Lisa just giggled and wrapped her arms around Chaeyoung's shoulders.
"You're kidding me," Chaeyoung rolled her eyes, but didn't hesitate to scoop Lisa into her arms. Lisa hummed happily.
"Whipped," Jisoo sang from the living room as Chaeyoung carried her girlfriend over to the stairs. Chaeyoung flicked her off with her free hand, while Lisa giggled.
Once she laid her girlfriend down in bed, Chaeyoung changed into her pajamas and joined the Thai girl under the covers. Lisa curled up in Chaeyoung's side and sighed contently.
"You know what to do," Lisa giggled. Chaeyoung raised an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah?" she teased. Lisa nodded. "What am I supposed to do, then?"
"Sing?" Lisa hummed. Chaeyoung nodded, kissing Lisa's cheek.
"Only for you," Chaeyoung smiled, running her fingers through Lisa's hair and gazing up at the ceiling.
She is something to behold
Elegant and bold
She is electricity
Running to my soul
And I could easily lose my mind
The way you kiss me
Will work each time
Calling me to come back to bed
Singing Lisa on my mind
Lisa lifted her head and giggled when she realized Chaeyoung had replaced the name in the song with her own. Chaeyoung paused her singing for a moment to admire the way Lisa's eyes sparkled in the dark.
Lips generous and warm
You build me up like steps
Eyes innocent and wild
Remind me what it's like
And I could easily lose my mind
The way you kiss me will work each time
Pulling me back into the flames
And I'm burning up again
I'm burning up
And I, I never understood what was at stake
I never thought your love was worth it's weight
Well now you've come and gone
I finally worked it out
I worked it out
I never should have told you
I never should have let you see inside
Don't want it troubling your mind
Won't you let it be
And I could easily lose my mind
The way you kiss me will work each time
Pulling me back into the flames
And I'm burning up again, I'm burning up
And I, I never understood what was at stake
I never thought your love was worth it's weight
Well now you've come and gone
I finally worked it out
I worked it out
"I love you," Lisa whispered, nuzzling her face into Chaeyoung's neck and kissing the soft skin. Chaeyoung shivered. She realized that if she were to die in this very moment, she would die happily.