Mary and Alice were there, that was all she could discern from the flashing lights and warped noises. She could hear their voices and feel Mary's hand gently brushing back her hair from her forehead. It was peaceful, all so peaceful.
The next time she woke up she was alone. She lay awake for some time, no energy or motivation to move. It would be so much easier, she thought, if she could just stay here forever. But the sound of someone drawing nearer came all too soon. It was Lily this time, and Dorcas a few steps behind. They jumped when they realised she was awake and looking up at them.
"Hey, how're you doing?" Lily asked gently as they sat down. She took her hands and squeezed them gently.
"Not so good, Lils."
They exchanged uneasy glances, Emmy wasn't usually so forthcoming with her pain-levels, it really must be bad.
Dory stood up, "I'm going to go find Madam Pomfrey."
Emmy waved her thanks and turned to look at the red head again.
"Has Sirius been here?"
Lily paused before reply, "No, he hasn't. I-I spoke to him just after James took you up to the hospital wing... I think I might have convinced him to give you a bit of space, at least for a little while."
Tears came to Emmy's eyes and her lips quivered before she said quietly, "Thank you. Thank you so much."
Relief washed over her in calming waves. She was safe, and Sirius would be too one day, as long as he didn't have to worry about her.
—————
Remus came by as soon as he heard she was awake. He greeted her with a relieved smile and embraced her in a fierce hug.
"Will you lay down with me?" she asked awkwardly. He grinned and moved next to her, tucking her into the crook of his shoulder and pulling her close.
"It's so quiet," he murmured after a while. They were both thinking it, how after every full moon that ended in the hospital wing, James, Peter and Sirius would be there to cheer them up, making their usual racket.
Emmy sniffed, tears stinging her eyes. He turned quickly to look at her, concern lacing his confused face.
"Do you think I made the right decision?" she mumbled.
"About Sirius?"
She nodded and searched his face desperately for an answer.
He sighed and kissed her forehead gently.
"I don't think I could answer that if I tried."
"Please?"
"Well, it's much safer than you two being together..."
She breathed a sigh of relief, at least he agreed with her in part.
"But you're breaking his heart. And I'm pretty sure it's breaking yours too."
"My heart is perfectly fine, thank you," she reassured him defensively.
"Is it?"
She didn't, couldn't reply. In truth, her heart was breaking so sharply it felt like it was shattering into a million pieces.
—————
Almost a week later, she was back in the Gryffindor tower. The girls had barely left her side for more than a minute, so she was glad to have some time alone walking back to the dorm after the first year DADA class she'd been helping Dumbledore with.
They'd been learning about ghosts with some enthusiastic assistance from the Fat Friar and Nearly Headless Nick.
She'd never really got to know the ghosts that well, which she felt pretty bad about, but they seemed like a lively bunch for a the spirits of dead people. Nearly Headless Nick had offered to walk her back, but she excused herself rather hurriedly. It wasn't that he was annoying her, more like she needed a break from the excitable first years and the fascination of the ghosts.
She stopped at the entrance to the courtyard and leaned against a crumbling pillar. There was so many memories tied within every part of Hogwarts it could become overbearing at times. She thought of the time she and Sirius had run out here in the middle of a thunderstorm and had that awful fight, but smiled at the gentle memory of the times when he'd meet her after class and they'd take the long way to the Great Hall for dinner, stopping to kiss in as many empty classrooms as they could find.
At the far side of the courtyard, a figure came into view. As they drew closer, Emmy realised it was Jody Higgs. She hadn't seen her around school for a while, she'd actually barely spoken to her after the match.
She froze as she spotted her. Figuring she must had looked rather odd on her own staring at the vacant courtyard, Emmy blushed self-consciously before tucking her hair behind her ears and forming a soft smile.
"Hi," she called uncertainly. The look on the chaser's face was one of fear and trepidation but at Emmy's friendliness, she eased slightly and tried for a smile.
"Hey," Higgs greeted. "How're you doing?"
"Oh fine thanks, what about you?"
"Yeah I'm alright, thanks."
There was an awkward pause as she trailed off, then they both spoke at the same time. They laughed nervously.
"Sorry, on you go," Emmy said.
"Thanks, look I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what happened at the match."
"You don't need to apologise."
"I'm getting some help now," she said quietly.
"Oh that's great! Is it helping?"
"A bit, but I'm still struggling with all the memories of being back here."
"I completely understand, you've just got to be kind to yourself though."
"I'm getting there, at least," she smiled, "As long as no one sets off fireworks right next to me I think we'll be fine next time Ravenclaw crushes Gryffindor on the Quidditch pitch."
Emmy guffawed. "I think you'll find it was the other way round, Higgs. I'm pretty sure we'd just won when you punched me in the face, but I did have a concussion so..." she laughed.
A wave of guilt washed over Higgs' face. "Was it awful?" she winced.
"Hey, I've taken worse. No offence, by the way, it was still a pretty mean right hook," she smirked.
"Thanks, Lupin," Higgs laughed, "Well look, I'll see you around sometime. And if you ever need some self-defence training..."
"I'll know where to find you," Emmy grinned.
—————
In a flurry of slamming doors and screamed insults, Marlene and Fabian had broken up again and in a single letter, Christie ended things with Gideon. He proceeded to mope around for the next four days until they dragged him out of the dormitory for quidditch practise and let him take his pain out on a couple of bludgers.
Sirius had been avoiding Emmy completely. She had barely seen him apart from in class, when he sat as far away from her as he could, and at mealtimes, when he frequently just left the table when she arrived. One time she even caught herself deliberately walking slowly so he would have more time to eat before she arrived. She felt so embarrassed she turned around and headed to the kitchens to pick up some food instead.
The full moon was less than two weeks away and the Astrals had been spending hours preparing. The armoured jumpers had worked well last time so Lily and Mary worked on a potion that would have longer lasting effects and the others spent hours researching shielding spells and distraction techniques for the next time Emmy got too close. They were careful not to talk about it in the company of anyone else in case they were taken to McGonagall for bullying; it fast became a running joke.
In the week before the full moon, they snuck out into the Forbidden Forest at night and practised the spells on unsuspecting trees. It was one of these nights that Professor Dumbledore caught them sneaking back in through the window in the east corridor after climbing up a set of drainpipes. They'd taken a longer route with the least classrooms, but when they noticed a light on in the professor's classroom, they'd had to press themselves flat against the wall when they heard the sound of footsteps.
There had been nowhere to hide though when he stepped out, especially as he cast lumos to light his way. The shock on his face was obvious at the sight of them and they visibly winced.
"Good evening, sir?" asked Marlene, with a tiny grin. Dory thudded her head on the wall in exasperation.
—————
The full moon went exceedingly well that month. Not only was there a complete lack of snow and ice, but werewolf-Emmy seemed much calmer in her surroundings. She returned to the stream she had played in so happily last time and slept for hours under the trees.
Even when, after eight hours had passed, Alice took Marlene back to Hogwarts because her leg was becoming too painful, the next few hours passed went without a hitch. From Emmy's own experience she knew broken bones were easily fixed with a whip of Madam Pomfrey's wand, even ones as shattered as Mars' had been, but the rejoining of the ligament and tendons of the surrounding muscles tended to ache for several weeks afterwards.
When they returned to the dormitory in the morning, Alice, Lily and Mary headed off to class to avoid their classmates' suspicion whilst Dory took Emmy to the hospital wing for a check over. Marlene bounded down the corridor as they arrived with not a hint of a limp.
"I see you're all fine then?" smiled Dory.
"Yup and I get to leave as soon as you guys arrive, so see ya!"
They laughed as she jogged off down the corridor, still floating on a cloud of strong pain-relief potion.
The only other people in the hospital wing were a couple of fourth years, one with a massive bandage around his head, the other holding a slightly dented copy of A History of Magic looking incredibly guilt-stricken, and there was someone behind a sheet of curtain too where Madam Pomfrey looked to be.
"Ah, Emeline, over here please," she called breezily as she came out. As the nurse ushered them to a bed, Emmy took a curious peak into the partitioned room and was startled to see a ghostly white Regulus Black gazing back at her.
It all happened so fast she wasn't sure what she was seeing until she had passed him. Dory looked back in confusion and nudged her arm.
"Was that Regulus?" she whispered.
Emmy didn't have a moment to answer before Madam Pomfrey had sat her down on the bed and drawn the curtains closed.
She felt a sharp scratch of a needle and the rejuvenating potions started flowing into her veins. She was so used to them now that the nurse didn't even need to ask before injecting them. They were a mixture of rehydration and protein supplements as well as healing dittany for the many microtears in her skin and bones from the transfiguration.
Dory pulled out some snacks and a couple of the recent editions of Rolling Stone which she took gratefully.
"Are these okay? I wasn't sure which ones you'd read yet..."
"No, they're great thank you! Do you want to stay for a bit? I don't mind if you want to go though," Emmy said as she burrowing into the pillows and opened a bag of breadsticks.
"As long as you're okay, I think I'll just head back. I could seriously do with a nap right now," she replied, smiling bashfully. "Do you want me to bring anything when I come by later?"
"Nah, it's fine. I'll probably be done by 11 o'clock, if that's good by you?"
"Sure, no problem. See you in a bit," she replied, giving Emmy a quick hug before disappearing off between the aisles of beds.
Madam Pomfrey woke her up a couple of hours later.
"How are you feeling, dear?"
"Better, thanks. Has Remus been in?"
"You just missed him I'm afraid, but he left you the rest of his Peppermint Toads," she smiled, nodding to the box on the bedside table. Emmy lunged for them, hand already putting one in her mouth before she'd sat back.
"I was taking the needle out, that's going to bruise now!" she scolded fondly.
Emmy laughed, "It's a bruise, I think I'll make it."
The nurse smiled softly and patted her cheek before carrying away the potion bottles.
"Can I go now?" Emmy called after her.
"Off with you!" came the reply.
She stood up and tied her shoelaces, shrugging on her jacket as she strode down the aisle, but the sight of Regulus curled up in bed stopped her short. He had dark circles under his eyes and his skin look sallow and fragile.
He looked fast asleep, otherwise she wouldn't have dared tiptoe in after a quick glance over her shoulder.
Despite having only talked to him a handful of times, she felt she knew him well. Her eyes caught on what she was looking for, the medical chart. With one last wary look around her, she slid it out of the holder on the end of the bed and flicked the first page up.
Her breath caught in her throat as she read through it.
Exhaustion, nightmares, tremors, inability to concentrate in class. Lost consciousness four times in two days, according to peers.
Shit, she thought, should I tell Sirius? But how would she even start... 'By the way, I was just passing your brother's unconscious body in the hospital wing when I thought I'd snoop around and check his file, you know, because I still care about you and still feel protective over him because of you.'
Yeah, that wasn't going to work.
"Lupin?" came a rasping voice. She dropped the file back down with flinch, the sound unbearably loud.
He was looking at her in confusion, pushing himself up on shaking arms. "What're you doing here?"
"I... I just wanted to check you were alright. I'm sorry, I'll go," she said, backing out of the curtain partition.
"Wait," he called out, "Why were you in the hospital wing? Sirius..."
She flinched at the sound of his name.
"Sirius... would want to know if you were okay," he said gruffly, looking away in embarrassment.
"It's doesn't concern him," she snapped, but regretted her tone immediately.
He paused before saying, "What're you doing here? You broke up with him, don't make it any worse by getting involved in this." He gestured to the medical chart.
"How do you know about that? Have you talked to him?" she deflected quickly.
"He's my brother, I know more than he thinks," he gave a small laugh and burst into a fit of coughing. It took him a moment to catch his breath again. "You hurt him a lot, you know."
She bit her cheek to keep her eyes from tearing up.
"It had to be done."
"Did it?" he shot back. Emmy was surprised to see a flare of anger in his eyes.
"Yes, it did," she replied steadily. "Look, I don't expect you to understand-"
He scoffed.
"But I did what is the only way to protect him."
"Oh, I think I know quite a lot about that. He tried to do the same for me a year ago, we all saw how that turned out."
"This will work, it has to."
"And what exactly is your plan then? Sirius has the Dark Mark, it's like a weak imperio curse that gets stronger if you stop fighting it for even a second. There will come a point when he can't fight it anymore. What will you do then?"
She knew this all too well, but saying it out loud just made it worse.
"He can fight it."
"You don't know that."
"He has to. Besides, if he stops caring about me then he can't be forced into doing something to protect me."
"You really think breaking his heart is going to change that? He'll always love you in some way or another."
"If we have some time apart, his feeling might change."
Regulus laughed, "We both know that's not going to happen."
"Look, how do you even know about this? And you should be on my side here if anything, I'm trying to protect him!" she exclaimed.
"I just... I know how much you mean to him," he said cautiously, "For most of my life, directly or indirectly I've been the cause of his unhappiness, I just w..."
He trailed off and looked down at his hands.
"You know he wouldn't have wanted it any differently," Emmy replied quietly. "He loves you, Regulus. And you need to tell him about this."
"He'll find out one way or another," he huffed.
Emmy lifted an eyebrow and he looked up slowly.
"Fine, I'll tell him," Regulus glowered. Then his lips twisted into a little smirk, "Or you could?"
"Not going to happen," she grinned. But before she could take a step to leave, Sirius round the edge of curtain and stopped short of the angry tirade he looked to have been about to shout.
"Reg- Emmy? What're you doing here?" he stuttered.
"Oh, I was just leaving, sorry," she muttered, and ducked under his arm. "I'll see you around, Regulus!"
Before she'd even left the hospital wing, she could hear the sound of the two of them yelling at each other.
She sighed and ran a restless hand through her hair, those boys were something else. When she reached the common room, she was met with confused glances from the seventh years on their free periods and remembered she was supposed to be in class.
Taking a second to breathe in the dormitory, she pinned her hair up and put on a little make-up before heading down, school bag slung over her shoulder.
When she arrived at the History of Magic classroom, the others were huddled around Lily and Alice's desk in the middle.
Professor Binns was droning on at the front of the room, none the wiser.
They looked up as she approached and James spoke.
"Did you see Sirius? What happened?"
"Well yeah, I was talking to Reg when he burst in," she replied carefully.
"You talked to Regulus?" asked Remus.
"Yeah, just for a second," she lied. "Hey Lily, can I copy up the notes from you?"
The rest of the period went in quickly and they headed to the Great Hall for lunch straight afterwards. Sirius didn't turn up to lunch so the Marauders headed up to the common room before next period to find him.
The girls were unusually subdued when the boys left, Emmy was picking at her food absentmindedly when Dory said, "Do you think I should have told Sirius? That Regulus was in the hospital wing."
"Of course," exclaimed Lily, "He would have wanted to know."
"You don't think I've just made things worse?"
"I don't think they could get any worse, if that's any consolation, Dory," Emmy snorted, still scribbling away at her notes from the Potion's class she'd missed earlier that morning.
When the others went suddenly quiet she looked up at the pained look on her friend's face.
"No look, I'm sure it'll be fine. They always work it out," she added hurriedly, squeezing her hand gently.
The evening was subdued at best, and downright grim at worst. They all went to bed early and were just climbing into bed when James came to say goodnight to Lily and told them Sirius had only just come back from practising on the quidditch pitch for hours.
Emmy fell asleep with worry and guilt on her mind, she hated that Sirius had fought with Reg again. She weighed the younger brother's words on her mind with a heavy heart.