A/N you're welcome to stop reading or to skim it at any point, but it's not graphic or anything
"Oh, god," Dean mutters as he falls back into the bed. "I'm never telling anyone to swallow ever again." He pities anyone who’s ever given him a blowjob now because swallowing come is disgusting.
Castiel, who's sprawled out next to him with nothing but a tee shirt on, stifles a laugh. "This was your idea."
"And other than the swallowing, it was a damn good one," Dean says. "That was…" He chuckles. "That was much more satisfying than watching your movie." He realizes belatedly that bringing up Karla probably isn't a good idea, but Castiel doesn't seem phased.
"I'm glad," Castiel says. "But, um…" He brushes a hand over the bulge in his jeans, and Dean shivers. "I don't think you're done here."
"No, I'm not," Dean agrees. "What do you say we flip the script? But…" He thumbs at Castiel's hip bone. "Without putting more clothes on."
Castiel shakes his head, but the smile on his face is enough for Dean to know that he's at least enjoyed everything that's already happened. "Dean, I have not given a blowjob since I was 16."
"I'd never given one until now, so I don't think experience is necessary," Dean says. "Although I have to admit, I am very surprised to hear that you were blowing guys in high school."
Castiel chuckles. "You would have been surprised by just about everything about high school me."
"Mm, I think I like where this is going," Dean says. "I wanna hear more about high school you."
"Maybe another day," Castiel says.
Dean sighs dramatically. "Okay, fine, I guess —"
Knock, knock, knock.
"You guys alive in there?" Jo calls through the (fortunately now locked) door. "It's been, like, five minutes."
Dean spits out the first lie he can think of. "Yeah, I'm just showing him a YouTube video."
"Alright, well, hurry up," she says. "It's not Christmas Eve without the whole family."
"Yep, it's, um…" Dean glances at Castiel, who seems just as freaked out by this as he is. "It's almost over. Be out in a minute."
"Cool."
Dean holds his breath until her footsteps are too far away to hear anymore, then lets out a relieved sigh. "God, that would have been…"
"Yeah, really," Castiel agrees. He sits up so Dean follows suit, not-so-subtly catching a peek down at Castiel's dick as he does it. "Was this a bad idea?"
Dean does his best to stay composed, but internally, he's kind of freaking out. He thought that was good. Hell, he thought that was great. That was some damn good not-sex, and he'd thought Castiel felt the same way. Was he wrong? Is he not as good at sucking guys off as he'd hoped he was? He may not have a lot of experience, but he's been sucked off enough that he thought he knew what he was doing.
But then Castiel adds, "I mean, Jo wouldn't be happy if she found out," which makes Dean feel a little better. So it wasn't about him after all. That's a good sign, right?
"Then she doesn't have to find out," Dean says. "I mean, I love her to death. I wouldn't tell her something that was just going to hurt her, and I hope you wouldn't, either."
"No, I know," Castiel says. "I just… I feel kinda bad. I hadn't thought about how it'd affect Jo if we…" He trails off, and Dean can't but wonder if that means he'd thought of doing this before today or if he's just looking too much into things. It would be really interesting to hear that he’d wanted to do this even before Dean’s bisexual awakening.
"What she doesn't know can't hurt her," Dean says with a shrug. He can tell this is weighing on him, but as much as Dean loves his friend, this is far from the first thing on his mind right now. "If you wanna go out there and see her and eat and celebrate Christmas Eve and all that, my offer to forget all this ever happened still stands."
Castiel gets up, and Dean's soul sinks. He was so sure the guy was going to shoot that down, but apparently not. Does this hurt Cas as much as it hurts him? Probably not, if he's been getting with other guys since he was a teenager. For him, this was probably just another blowjob. For Dean, it was the opening to a whole different side of the dating pool — a whole different side of himself. This is a shitty way to end it.
"Are you coming?" Castiel asks.
Without saying a word, Dean looks at him, then looks down pointedly at his crotch. He is not leaving this room with a boner.
"Ah, right," Castiel says.
There's an awkward moment of silence as Castiel grabs the jeans and boxers he threw on the floor a few minutes ago, and Dean does his best to maintain his care-free facade until after Cas leaves.
Castiel turns around, pants in hand, and asks, "Do you want me to stay? You know, until you're ready to go, too?"
Dean's fake smile turns into a real smirk. "Okay, but only under one condition."
Castiel cocks an eyebrow. "And what would that be?"
"If you're not gonna help me with this," Dean says with a glance down at his crotch, "the least you can do is leave your pants off."
Castiel chuckles. "Well, if you insist."
Castiel sits down on Jo's bed again and puts his jeans and underwear down between the two of them. His hand glides across Dean's crotch, and he can't tell if it was on purpose but it sends shivers up his spine either way.
If you haven't figured it out by now, the author is trying very hard to not have to write smut because she is very bad at it, but since this is currently a very sex-based relationship, I gotta talk about The Sexual Parts™ anyway. Dean jerks off in front of Cas and it turns them both on, blah blah blah, okay, back to the fic.
Dean is this close to coming when he realizes that he is, in fact, the absolute stupidest person on the planet, and mumbles a quiet, "Oh, shit," under his breath.
"Is that a this is so good 'oh shit' or a this is so bad 'oh shit'?" Castiel asks.
"The second one," Dean says. He takes his hand away from his dick but he's half convinced he'll come in a second whether he touches himself again or not. "I forgot my…" He gestures vaguely to the desk he had been using his laptop at. There's a word for that — a very obvious word, too — but he can't think of it.
"Forgot your what?" Castiel asks.
Dean wracks his brain for the word, but his mind is very preoccupied with what's going down in his lower half. He'd stand up and get them, but that would be weird. This will be weird, too, but at least it will be a fun weird if he gets a 'yes.'
Dean taps the boxers Castiel has lying in the bed. "Mind if I borrow these?"
"Depends," Castiel says uncertainly. "Borrow them for how long?"
Ah, damn, foiled by a basic question. There's no way Castiel will go for it now, but he still answers, "Until the next time I do laundry."
Castiel scoffs. "Seriously?"
"Yes, I actually am being serious, believe it or not," Dean says.
Tissues!
That's the fucking word!
He forgot his tissues on the desk! God, he's a fucking idiot. He's about to ask Castiel to go grab them — he can't come on Jo's bed, obviously — when Castiel says something that surprises him.
"Alright, go for it."
Dean's eyebrows shoot up. "Really?"
Castiel shrugs. "Yeah, sure."
Well, who is Dean to say no to that, right? So Dean finishes jacking off, using Castiel's boxers to clean up the mess. He tosses them halfway across the room, and they land neatly in his travel hamper full of dirty clothes from the past few days.
Castiel snorts. "Don't tell me the word you couldn't remember was 'tissue.'"
Dean slaps him in the shoulder with a playful, "Shut up."
Castiel just smirks.
"You know," Dean says, "you don't have any underwear to wear anymore."
"I see that," Castiel says. "I don't know what I was expecting you to need them for, but using them like a dirty dish rag was not at the top of the list."
Dean shrugs. "I said you wouldn't get them back."
"I know," Castiel says. "I knew — vaguely — what I was signing up for."
"And did 'what you were signing up for' include going commando for the rest of the day?" Dean asks. "Because it looks like that's what you gotta do now."
Castiel chuckles. "Well, fortunately, I do still have pants. It'll be uncomfortable —"
"Oh, don't worry," Dean says with a smirk. "If you think it'll be uncomfortable now, just wait 'til I get around to you."
That was, in a sense, just a way of testing the waters. If Castiel didn't like that, he would pull back and leave well enough alone. Fortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case, because though Castiel's laugh does seem nervous, he doesn't seem opposed to it when he says, "Today is going to be the hardest Christmas Eve of my life, isn't it?"
"Oh, definitely," Dean says. "In more ways than one."
Castiel grabs his jeans, but he's still smiling even as he puts them on.
"So," Dean says, "am I correct in assuming this isn't going to be a one-time thing?"
"I mean, I don't know how it will work once I head to Canada in a couple days," Castiel says, "but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to make the most of this whole I could."
Dean brushes off that remark about Canada. It's too early to think that far ahead. He's just glad they get the next couple days to fool around with each other.
"That's good," Dean tells him, "because if you said no, it would've evolved into my bisexual supervillain origin story."
A/N yes, yes I did have to google how the fuck amab peeps do to clean up when they finish jerking off thank you for noticing (god what even is my life)