y o u f l i r t a s r o m a n t i c a l l y a s a g o a t h u m p i n g a s he e p
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Picture: Nova
dedicated to @mrsmarieobrien for understanding the struggles of sitting next to a cute boy
dedication to my fave comment xoxo
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I stared up at my ceiling, observing each and every star and constellation with admiration filled in my eyes. The dark blue cloudy backgrounds with white flecks of paint on my ceiling were a result of many sleepless nights with my father, just painting. We had made sure to put a few constellations up on there-mainly my favourites, The Big Dipper, Orion and Lyra.
A part of why I love Lyra is probably because it is also a My Little Pony figure, but I would never admit that to someone.
My father was the one person who showed me the stars-he is an astronomer after all. Ever since my father had started pointing them out for me, I was fascinated, always have been.
Realising that if I didn't get ready now, I would be late for dinner at Tyler's, I got up from my soft, warm bed. The heat escaped my body, leaving me slightly exposed in my tank top and shorts. It was nearly five o'clock, so the sun was nearly setting and it was starting to get cooler by the minute. I decided to take a shower even though I had one after volleyball practise.
I pulled my thin light blue skinny jeans out of my open jeans draw in my bureau, and plucked out a loose black and white striped shirt. I took a quick shower, making sure not to get my hair wet as I'd already washed it this morning. Once I finished getting dressed and taming my disloyal curly brown hair, I chucked on a pair of all black Vans.
Yes, I'm not wearing Converse.
Yes, I'm slightly insane. But, Converse just won't go with what I'm wearing, so Vans it is.
I trotted down the stairs lightly after tucking my phone into my pocket, a slight bounce in my step.
I'm having dinner with Tyler's parents, wow aren't we just progressing?
Next thing you know I'm harbouring his baby-in nicer terms, pregnant-like a guy trying to keep his innocence while having a shower in jail.
"Austin," I called out to brother dearest who decided he was going to ignore me while playing Call of Duty downstairs in the living room. "Say hi to Rex and Henry for me, I'm going for dinner at Tyler's."
Austin doesn't look up from his somewhat intensive game, "Have fun, remember to tell Tyler to cover his stump before he humps."
Ugh.
I rolled my eyes, shutting the front door after I walked out. My mother and father are nowhere to be seen, as per usual. Dad is working-or should I say pleasing his boss-while my mom is god-knows-where doing god-knows-what without telling me. Heck, my mom is only mom-ish when it comes to being protective of me getting drunk at parties. I can talk to her about anything, but truth is that she is probably just answering monotonously while spending more time infatuated with her nothing but boring paper work. Feeling the love.
I look the right at Nate's house, where Emily and he are sitting on the front porch together. They're on his swing, just sitting and talking while eating-what looks like it-red vines and drinking milkshakes.
Emily had told me everything about her and Nate's date. It was the cutest thing I'd ever heard my best friend do. Heck, I didn't even think he was capable of such romanticism. He'd picked her up with one of Emily's favourite flowers-a white lily-and then took her ice skating, which sounded perfect since it was so hot.
Damn Nate.
Halfway through the date, he made the ice rink play Emily's favourite song and asked her to be his girlfriend.
We all know what Little Miss Horny replied with.
I can just imagine it.
"Oh Emily, will you be my girlfriend through thick and thin, until death or marriage do us part?" Nate looks up at Emily with googly eyes, raping her face with his infatuating and entrancing blue eyes.
"Nate," Emily growled with lust, "Take me now. I'll be your girlfriend only then, you have to prove to me you're worth it."
Then, they skated to the side of the rink and bumped uglies against the freezing cold ice, their ass cheeks frozen together. But, it was okay because it was all for love.
The end.
Okay, in the end he just asked her, she said yes and bam, it's a cliché fairy-tale story. Two best friends fall in love, yada yada ya, they kiss they bump uglies then they have kids.
So boring.
I'm more into the fast life, you know? The kind of relationship where there's none of that mushy 'I love you', 'no, I love you more baby' shit. Please, I would rather stab my eyes out with forks and eat them for breakfast than ever talk like that. I'm more into the thrill, testing limits and patience and causing a hell of a load of trouble. I'd like to have a boyfriend that is also my partner in crime and best friend. I don't know, I'm just so not romantic-no wonder boys don't want to date me.
"NOVA!" A voice screamed from a distance. I snapped out of my reverie, stumbling over a piece of wood in the front yard of my house. Why it was there, I don't know? "Jeez, you full on spaced out," Emily yelled back with an amused smirk on her face. "Thinking about the meal after dinner?"
Huh? I looked at her confusedly, to which she waved it off, saying that there is no use explaining herself because it's never funny the second time you say it.
Wow, I have weird friends.
Nevertheless, I continued my trek over the road to Tyler's house. It was long, exhausting and I'm totally parched. Because, you know, walking fifteen metres is completely and utterly insane and heartbreaking.
I stared ahead at Tyler's house. It's the same size and layout as mine, except it's made out of a darker coloured brick than mine and Nate's. His front yard is well kept, the grass kept neatly trimmed (I would know, it's a lovely sight to see Tyler mowing some mornings) with a flower bed either side of the small pathway leading up to the average sized house. The two storey building was identical to the one beside it. I'm pretty sure a girl in freshman year lives to the left and a boy in middle school is on his right.
I was about to knock on the door, but someone beat me to it. Tyler opened the door, a distressed look furrowed on his face. He mouthed 'help' and put a finger up to his neck, drawing a line with it and fake choking.
I giggle slightly-giggle, ugh, I hate that word more than I hate mushiness-and tuck an annoying strand of hair behind my ear.
"Honey, who is it?" A voice who I presume is his mother's calls from inside the house. Then, the door opens wide and she is popping her head outside of it too see what is outside.
"Nova," she greets warmly. Sandra Bradford is Tyler's mom. I know her from when I used to babysit Elsa, but we only saw each other briefly due to the fact that I was there to baby sit not socialise. "I'm so glad Tyler brought a girl over, for a second I was thinking he was swinging in the other directions," she over exaggerates her winks to which I laugh briefly at, a smile pulling at my lips.
Sandra is a lovely woman, but she looks nothing like Tyler. Sandra has honey blonde hair and darker eyes while Tyler has his father's brown hair and lighter green eyes. His mother is American while his father is Spanish, that's where he gets his natural tan and darker hair from.
"It's nice to see you Sandra," I offer a smile.
"Right back at you, now hurry up and come inside, I don't want you catching a cold or anything," she ushers me inside her warm house.
"But mom, it's not even cold," Tyler whines. He'd been pushed out of the way of the door by his mother. He's definitely a mommy's boy.
"Shut up Tyler," I poke my tongue out at him childishly. He rolls his eyes but pokes his tongue out, mimicking me.
"Dinner is nearly ready," Sandra speaks up. She's standing in front of both of us, toying the apron tied around her neck with her delicate hands. "You both go wait in the living room. Elsa is there, Nova, and I'm sure she'll be happy to see you. She hasn't stopped talking about how beautiful you've gotten, I have got to agree."
I flush bright red, nodding lightly. I'm not very good with accepting compliments-it just feels weird. Tyler pushes me out of the way in his not-so-gentlemanly way and stalks off to the living room. I follow, getting a good look at his bum on the way there.
What? I'm admiring the work of art.
Dinner goes by smoothly, as expected. Elsa was beyond happy to see me, not letting go of me all night, to the point where she fell asleep while sitting on my lap at the dinner table. Tyler smiled softly at the sight of his little sister asleep, gently picking her up and carrying her princess style.
"I'm just going to put her to bed, and then we'll do some Chemistry," I nod at Tyler, following him as he ever so carefully walks up the stairs to Elsa's bedroom.
I wait awkwardly in the hallway for Tyler to finish putting Elsa into her bed, thanking the heavens when he closed the door softly after him of only a few minutes waiting. He walks wordlessly towards a door, opening it up and giving me a look that can only say 'are you coming or are you just going to stand there looking like a potato?'
I stopped being a potato, and walked into his room after him. It was your average boy's room, really. Blue walls, white carpet and a double bed nestled into the far corner of the room, with a bureau and desk adjacent to it. It was the perfect size-not too big and not too small.
"So, I was thinking that instead of doing Chemistry, we could do something else?" Tyler smirked, a devilish glint dancing in his eyes as he plopped himself down onto his bed. "How about we make chemistry. Oh wait, no, we already have that. Never mind, I had other ideas anyway."
"What are you trying to imply?" I lean up against his wardrobe, running my hands along the dark brown wooden surface.
"Well, we both hate Hayden, so why don't we get some revenge. Now."
I bit my lip, thinking it over. "But it's night time, plus, what would we do?"
"Night time is the best time," he grins, but I know there's a hidden meaning behind that. "Nobody can see us, if we hide. I already planned something, stupid, I'm pretty cunning, you know?"
"Oh right, your parents told you that you could be anything when you grew up, so you became an asshole," I laughed loudly.
It's so funny to stir the pot with Tyler. He gets this pissed off scowl on his face, but I can see that deep down he is either laughing or clapping about how awesome my insults are becoming.
"That's offensive to my parents," he said matter-of-factly, twirling his wrist around like he was trying to mimic the typical mean girl click. "Stop changing the subject, this is serious matter. My gosh."
He sighs loudly. I burst into tears laughing at that. He's just so sassy. Or, at least he tries.
"We need to wear all black," he stares at me seriously. I'm still laughing, but when I see his 'serious stare' I start laughing even more. "And then we are going over to his house and tying tampons to the trees."
Wait, what?
"Uh, how about no?"
"Come on," he groans, "It's such a good idea. Just think of his face when he sees his trees tamponified."
Tamponified. Well, that's a new word to add to Tyler's messed up dictionary.
"I'm all aboard the nope train to fuck-that-ville," I smile fake-sweetly.
Tyler pinches the bridge of his nose in newfound frustration, "Too bad, I already bought everything." He produces a bag from under his bed filled with tens-maybe even hundreds-of tampons.
"You ARE crazy," I burst out, "Are you trying to get us killed or something. OH MY GOD TYLER, you did not just buy like five thousand tampons from the shop. Please tell me you didn't."
"Actually, there is only five hundred and forty two," he smirked. "But props for the horrible guess."
"No way."
Has Tyler gone absolutely crazy? Is this the day that I send him to the nuthouse?
"Yes way," he smirks, dangling the bag in front of my face incessantly. I glare at the bag as it swung back and forth, half disgusted and half humoured.
"So, how many of them are there, again?" I'd had a complete brain fart and forgot how many things he had bought.
He rolls his eyes as if to make him seem frustrated, but I know he was far from that. He was smug and completely insane for thinking that I would ever do what he wants me to do. No. Hell, no. "Five hundred and forty two," he confirms, twisting the handles of the bag around his fingers, nearly cutting off the blood circulation.
"Five hundred and forty two," I echoed.
"Five hundred and forty-two tampons," he nods.
"You're insane."
"No, you're the insane one for not wanting to do this with me," he flicks my forehead. I slap his hand away, plastering an angry look on my face. "You won't get caught," he laughs jokingly; "It's just a prank."
"Just!" I squeal, "You want me to tie five hundred something tampons to my ex's tree? That's completely insane, you know?"
"Fine," he sobs, "I don't need your help anyway. Doors there, eres tan ingrate (you're so ungrateful)."
"Que eres un gilipollas," I puff my chest out in an act to look like I was better than him. Of course, it didn't work. Tyler is the master at turning peoples words around and making them seem like they're the victim-I would know, I've experienced it first-hand.
Tyler almost starts to pout-knowing it's my goddamn weakness-but I stop him by shoving a tampon in his mouth. He splutters, fake gagging, but spits it back into my face. It hits me on the forehead, rebounding off it onto the floor dejectedly.
"Wow," I comment, "You're so lame."
Tyler glares at me, "If you don't come with me, I'm telling the whole school that you sleep with your tongue out."
"You wouldn't," I glare back at him. "Wait. How did you know that?"
He smirks proudly, "Wouldn't you like to know."
"Why is it that whenever you open your mouth, I feel the sudden urge to hit you so hard in the balls, that they come out your mouth?"
"I'm loveable, duh."
One hour later and Tyler and I are on the verge of completing Operation Tampon Hayden's House, covered head to toe in his dark clothes. We were supposed to be studying chemistry after dinner, but Tyler was itching to get out and do something. Then again, he has the tendencies to go crazy every now and again just like me (except mine is primarily because of tacos and beating Rex in Call of Duty).
"This is so unorthodox," I cringe-whispered as I finished tying the last string of the last tampon onto Hayden's front door. We had to be extremely quiet so that his family or he couldn't hear us. I swear, it is practically impossible. The two of us together are loud, obnoxious and troublemakers. "Finished."
Tyler grins cheekily, dangling another tampon in front of my face. "Actually, I hid this for the best part of the prank."
I eye him curiously, watching as he tip toes over to the pair of shoes at the front door. Then, he slips the lucky last tampon into the shoe, not forgetting to open the whole thing up beforehand.
Ugh, gross.
"I can't wait to see his face in the morning," he smirks, admiring his masterpiece with a mischievous look dancing in his green eyes.
I stand back and look around, also. The tree beside his house has hundreds of tampons hanging off it. The front door has them hanging off it like a Holley, whereas the porch rail has them sticky taped on.
I'd like to think we did a pretty awesome job. I shouldn't have been so worried in the first place, because it wasn't even that bad. Nobody caught us, and we had a good time doing so. Even though, at first, it felt like my heart was going to fall out of my chest.
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"I swear, it was the weirdest thing ever." Eli waved his hands around him drastically. "One minute, my house was fine, then the next it was covered in tampons."
It was at that moment that Tyler and Nova realised that . . . they were in the shit.
I couldn't help but saying shit over and over in my head like a mantra, and I'm sure Tyler would have been cussing similar to me, contradicting his cool and calm expression.
"That's funny," I tried to laugh, but it came out sounding like a 'heh' but from a screaming goat.
Eli eyed me suspiciously. It was second period Chemistry, and boy, am I regretting last night's escapades. "Yeah, funny." He laughs dryly, "I love pulling six hundred or so tampons out of my tree and front yard at seven in the morning."
"Actually, there was five hundred and forty two," Tyler corrects.
Oh my god. He just blew our cover. HE IS SO STUPID.
Tyler is flushing bright red, fidgeting in his seat as Eli gave him the harshest glare known to man. I was half expecting Eli to jump over the table and squash him with some heavy object, but instead, he laughed.
He laughed.
"Oh, man," he wipes tears from his eyes, "That was the funniest prank ever."
Tyler shoots me an 'I-told-you-so' look, to which I respond with the classic rolling of the eyes. "Admire the work of art by Nova and Tyler," he bows over exaggeratingly.
I slap him over the back of the head, "Hurry up and finish the questions, or else I am definitely not even going to think of tutoring you."
He mumbles something indistinguishable under his breathe, picking up his pencil to start scrawling over the sheet covered in chemical equations.
"Whipped," Eli mouths to me. I nod making the gesture that I have him wrapped around my little finger.
"I saw that," Tyler grumbles. "Envuelto alrededor de su dedo menique, lo que es una broma (Wrapped around her little finger, what a joke)."
"I heard that," I mimicked him. "Ass-butt."
"Shut up turtle brains."
"Donkey balls."
"Sausage skin."
"Potato face."
"Ladies and gentleman, that is a fine example of how not to flirt with a girl," Eli says loudly. Everyone turns around to look at us. I hide behind my hair, half being embarrassed and half wow-this-is-awkward-ing.
"Like you would know how to flirt," Tyler rolls his eyes, "Plus, I don't need to flirt with Nova. She has me wrapped around her little finger."
The smug look on Tyler's face was enough for me to burst out laughing, same as Eli.
"What?" Tyler frowns in confusion.
"Cariño (honey)," I sigh lightly, "You don't flirt because you flirt as romantically as a goat humping a sheep."
Wow, even I'm disturbed.
That's definitely got to say something.
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sorry for the delayed update guys, school is poop and taking up all my writing time. I had to quickly write this before the doctors, so this'll be short and sweet.
did you know that PM is at 83k reads?
Did you?
DIDYA?
I am more than ecstatic - is that even possible?
Like, I want to cry and squeal and laugh like a madwoman all at the same time which is definitely not possible but highly likely for myself to perform.
okay I really have to go by love you thanks for all the fab reads and votes and comments you guys are bloody legends xoxoxox