"Tap, tap, tap." My head was pounding and my entire body was on fire. The smell of mold and rot hit my nose, making me flinch as I awoke to a sound of water dripping on the floor nearby. I tried to move but couldn't. I couldn't feel my arms except for a searing pain around my wrists. Panic flooded my veins as I opened my eyes, quickly trying to adjust to the dark. I looked up to see my arms chained to the wall above my head. The source of the pain? Silver chains holding me in place. I looked around, trying to take in my surroundings. Dungeon, I was in the dungeon, in one of our cells.
A sob escaped my lips as I tried to move my body from the sitting position it was stuck in for an unknown amount of time, but all I was met with was pain from the cuffs around my wrists, ankles and neck. The sudden wave or realization followed by utter desperation hit me with a force of an avalanche. I was a prisoner. I turned on the future Alpha and Luna. The very people who were meant to be our protectors. My protectors. It didn't matter I hated them, I broke the most sacred law of this land. The one thing we were conditioned against since our earliest memories.
I felt tears running down my face as all emotions hit me at once. My body was screaming for me to move, to change the position and fix the blood flow, all the while my brain reminded me of the scars I'll have if I do that. But did it matter? I always cared for my looks. It gave me confidence, made me happy. I took special care for my blond hair, knowing how rare pure blondes were. I always made sure to use just the right color eyeshadow to highlight my hazel eyes. I wouldn't leave the house without red lipstick on. If I had nothing else going for me, my looks was it. I thanked the Gods every morning for being lucky enough to love myself for who I was. But what good was that to me now? I committed the highest treason possible. I wasn't going to live to see the sun again. The best thing I could hope for was that they would just come here and out of respect for my family kill me right here, away from everyone, without the humiliating trial and prying eyes.
I sat there, numb and lost in my thoughts for what felt like an eternity, when the lock of my cell clicked under a key and a guard entered. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him. I wanted to ask him how long had I been here. If Colin and Lilian are okay. If I hurt anyone else in my bloodlust state. What will happen to me now? And can I see my mom at least one more time? But I didn't ask any of it. In fact, I didn't speak at all.
"I will take you to the interrogation room now. Don't try anything stupid, girl. You're already on a death row, I don't want to add more to it by having to subdue you," he said as he took a cautious step towards me. I could see the pity in his eyes. I hated it. So, I just nodded and looked down, trying not to move at all as he unclasped my chains from the wall.
"Let's go," he said, lifting me up. But with my body so stiff, I couldn't even stand, let alone walk. I tried to balance on my sore legs but even one attempt at taking a step sent me to the stone ground face first. I hissed in pain as my cheek hit the hard stone and tasted blood on my tongue from the lip I just busted. The guard looked at me with a sigh, probably ready to tell me off, but when he realized there was absolutely no way I was going to walk anywhere on my own, he picked me up, threw me over his shoulder and walked out of the cell through a long hallway straight into the interrogation room.
"Noyla!" I heard my mom cry out for me as the guard sat me down and chained my bare feet to the icy cold ground and my wrists and neck to the table. Only now I noticed the grey jumpsuit they put me in as I began to feel it's material on my skin with my limbs coming to their senses due to change of position.
"My baby," mom cried as she approached me and planted a kiss on the top of my head. I didn't look at her. I didn't want to see the tears, the pain I've caused. I couldn't. And so I just stared at my hands.
"What are our options?" I heard my father ask. He was always the level headed one. The rational one. Trying to teach me not to give in to my impulses. I should have listened better. Practice more.
"Not many. You know the rules. Noyla committed an act of rebellion. That means either death or exile," another voice in the room spoke. I heard my mom gasp and then she began sobbing violently.
"I'll ask again, what are our options?" Dad repeated himself, hint of frustration and anger in his voice. Even he was losing it.
"There are two offers on the table. Both require admission of guilt and apology from Noyla. First one is she'll be executed today, via an injection, in her cell. No audience, no trial, no humiliation," the voice replied.
"And the second?" Mom asked in between her sobs.
"Public trial which will result in exile due to Noyla's young age. This could drag on for a few days and will put your family in the spotlight. They will make an example of her," the voice said and for the first time I looked up to see a man dressed in a suit. A lawyer. I resisted the urge to chuckle at the hopelessness of my predicament and rather went back to staring at my hands as silence took over the room.
"Noyla? What do you want to do?" I heard my dad asking me. And it was that question which finally broke me out of my numb state. What did I want to do? I didn't want to die. I was seventeen, I barely got to live. I didn't get to travel to the Southern Shores to see the ocean or to the west to see the exotic markets. I didn't get to meet my mate, to graduate, to find out who I really was. I didn't get to read all those books on my shelves back in my room at home. I didn't get to give Olivia her birthday present which I picked out only weeks ago. I didn't get to grow up and make my parents proud. No, I have failed them. I was the only child they had and I failed them. And now they are here, asking me what I want when standing in front of the impossible choice.
I didn't want to die. But the alternative was a trial. I already put mom and dad through so much, how could I put them through even more? And for what? Yes, I was a young and healthy wolf. If anyone could make it through Frozen Wastes, it was someone like me. But is that really a chance I wanted to take at that cost? Only a handful of beings decided to cross the barren land covered in ice and snow that separated Summerlands from Winterlands. And it's not like anyone ever wrote back to let us know they lived, or what awaits on the other side.
Winterlands was our ancestral home. We knew very little about it since our ancestors decided to leave it over two millennia ago. There was very little written word left, mostly just stories, myths and legends that parents told their children before bed or which we shared during bonfire nights on our Solstice celebrations. Tales of the land where sun almost never rises up on the sky, of mountains covered in snow all year long. Of the mythical Midnight City, a capital of a mighty frozen empire, hidden away by ancient magic, ruled over by Ice King and his Queen, wolves so powerful no one can match them. The Queen just as much of a warrior as her King. We were fascinated by these stories as well as terrified of them. Of the power and cruelty they wielded. If I did cross the Frozen Wastes, could I even survive in the kingdom that was supposedly on the other side?
"You must decide quickly, Noyla. This offer is at discretion of Lady Lilian, but the Alpha family's patience is running out," the lawyer brought me back from my thoughts into reality.
"I don't want to die," I said out loud now, my voice hoarse from the silver on my neck and lack of use, as I broke down crying from my own shame and guilt. I shouldn have told them to kill me. But I was a coward. A stupid, impulsive coward who couldn't keep her emotions in check and brought shame upon her family.
"Okay, we'll do the trial," dad said without hesitation as my mom continued stroking my hair and crying. They were going to do this for me. And I was too selfish to stop it. I hated myself. What happened to my not caring? What happened to that wolf out there, ready to kill the boy she loved because she couldn't have him, knowing it meant a death sentence for her too? Where was she now?
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