tw: suicide talk!
Every story comes to an end, maybe his was just too long. His story had to end quicker, his was too boring.
The worst things have to come when you're not around. Maybe if Bokuto had his phone on him, nothing would have happened.
~
It was a week until Akaashi Keiji's birthday, a week until everything will stop. December fourth, snow will fall that day. Snow made out of tears that will beckon the world for eternity.
At least one thing helped slow down the process, the song he sent, it was too heart wrenching.
~
November 30th, 20xx
Bokuto sat at the kitchen counter scrolling on his phone. He sat around that counter for days on end, just sitting there, either on his phone or staring off into oblivion.
A loud thug came from his right, quickly jerking his head, he found Kuroo placing a tray of coffee next to him.
"For you, my good friend!" Kuroo pulled a coffee out and set it next to Bokuto.
"Why thank you Kuroo.." He smiled slightly, sipping the coffee he gagged a bit due to the heat. "God damn, why do you always get coffee extra hot?" He gasped a bit.
"You know, I have no idea." Kuroo chuckled a bit. He pulled a coffee out and chugged it, like the other, he gagged and spit some out. "Maybe you're right.. I should stop.." He laughed a bit while wiping the residue off his lips.
Bokuto let out a small laugh, sipping the coffee slightly so he doesn't burn his tongue. Years ago he knew he would have chugged the coffee, burning his tongue in the process. But he wasn't that person anymore, he's learned more about the world around him, and how cruel it could be.
"Hey Kuroo," Bokuto quietly said.
"Hm?" Kuroo raised an eyebrow, setting down his coffee he bluntly said, "Shoot!"
Bokuto hesitated a bit, he slightly tapped the seat next to him to signal for Kuroo to sit next to him. Kuroo stumbled over a bit and slid onto the chair, he put his elbows on the counter, holding his face up.
"I have something's to say.. and maybe some questions.." Bokuto played with the coffee cup that was half empty.
"Like I said, go for it!" Kuroo smiled a bit. He didn't look at Bokuto, instead he just stared off into the same space he was looking at.
"It's almost Keiji's birthday.." Bokuto played with his fingers.
Kuroo sat there for a minute, "So..?"
"I don't know..!" Bokuto whined, lowering his head onto the table.
"You want to do something don't you..?" Kuroo sighed. "But I told you before.. he-"
"I know." Bokuto cut him off, "You say that every fucking time Kuroo, every time I bring him up." He glared at him.
Kuroo grunted in response.
"I just want to do something nice for his birthday, anything, you know?" Bokuto sighed, his voice was groggily.
"Sure.." Kuroo sat up straight, "I don't want you to get hurt, it's taken such a toll on you Bo.."
"Can you stop worrying?" Bokuto sternly said, "It's getting annoying." He stood up loudly and walked out, "You can't stop me Kuroo, I'm doing something for him."
Kuroo watched him stumble out of the small kitchen, down the narrow hallway.
~
"It's almost my birthday.." The boy slumped down on the metal bench. "I don't believe it." He sighed.
Snow started falling over him, landing in his messy hair. Slightly making each strand wet, each flake melting on his head. Akaashi lifted his hand outwards to feel the small snowflakes tickle his hand. Watching the small magical snow fall made him feel at ease, made him feel like he had finally lived. He could finally leave this world with the feeling of enjoyment.
Akaashi had never thought of the word 'suicide' before, let alone think of committing it. He would never think of doing such to himself, he thought his life would have been wonderful once he got into college. Once he had rid his household of demanding parents, but that was never the case, would never be the case.
"I have.." Akaashi looked at his hands, counting his fingers to check the date. "Three days so far, I'll be.. How old will I be again?" Akaashi laughed at himself.
He pulled his phone out to find that it was exactly 12:00 AM, "Wow, make that two.." He chuckled a bit more.
Do I really want to die? Is it such a good idea..?
Keiji, make up your mind you fool.
Kōtarō would be.. sad? Maybe he would.. he would care! I'm sure of it. Maybe I shouldn't, he would care.
He doesn't~!
"Shut the fuck up." Akaashi whispered to himself, ridding the scratching voice beckoning his mind.
Akaashi slowly stood up, stumbling due to the bruise on his left knee. Maybe he should watch where he's going the next time he walked down another dim alleyway.
It was time he headed back to where he's been the past two years, back to the club he's worked at for three years now.
If it weren't for the staff keeping him in hiding, he wouldn't be here now. Even the detectives never found him there, but they did do research on his career and where he worked. No trace of him there, all the staff covered ever footprint.
Every worker was chill, they knew about his past and still appreciated him.
They all knew he should have never ran, should have never left Bokuto, but that is what he wanted. Anyone would never say no to him.
But there were always those times where people did recognize him due to the news and flyers, luckily they were always interrupted or Akaashi was snuck to the back, out of sight.
"I shouldn't dwell on the club, the workers.." Akaashi snickered, he walked down the icy sidewalks. "They did so much for me, finally the burden will be lifted from them, from everyone.." He smiled and looked at the sky filled with small snowflakes.
~
His birthday was here, the ending was near.
Bokuto flipped his phone up to find himself up at four in the morning, for some odd reason he felt something was going to happen. Slightly brushing it off, he slipped out of bed and pulled some layered clothes on.
Bokuto slowly made his way down the narrow hallway, almost hitting off some pictures on the wall. Walking quietly and quickly to the front door, he peeked outside to find it snowing. He smiled and closed the door.
He prepared himself to go outside, it was cold and windy. Taking one step out the warm apartment made a jolt of coldness hit his face like a brick. His nose was already freezing, but he closed the door and huffed out a warm breath.
He watched the white puff swirl around him, then fly off into the wind.
Slowly making his way down the slippery hallway and stairs, he rubbed his hands together for warms, he forgot his mittens. Bokuto was to lazy to run back up and get them, another reason was because he didn't want to risk waking up the devil Kenma.
He ran down the stories of the building and finally made it out to the courtyard. It was filled with snow, making it look like a white cloud sat on the ground.
Debating on jumping into the white fluff, he denied and kept walking.
He walked for five minutes until he reached the big field once again. Where he saw the image his brain made up that one rainy day.
Once again he stood alone in the big field, snow piling up around him. He looked at the moon, it was slowly going down for the sun to come up and brighten this side of the world.
Unconsciously, Bokuto reached his hands out. They were cupped in a bowl shape, slightly cupping the moon from his vision.
He felt the warmth of hands gliding against his own, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth. The hands covered his own, holding them. It felt like heaven, his hands being held again.
He knew it was just his imagination this time, but it felt so real. But it wasn't, sadly he imagined his hands being warm, in reality they were going to chip off from the coldness.
Enjoying the non-existent spirit lingering around him, he felt safe and warm. He knew the presence he felt around him, it was Akaashi.
Imagining him felt real, it wasn't real to the slightest. But he felt that way.
Pulling his hands back into his pockets, he opened his eyes to see the moon once again. He smiled ever so slightly.
His eyes pricked with tears, "Happy Birthday, Keiji.." He wiped his cheeks, "Remember I'll always wait for you, no matter how long, I'll be here waiting.."
~
"Happy Birthday to myself.." Akaashi looked up at the falling moon. "Let my life be long, let his be long.." He chuckled to himself, knowing his wouldn't be going on any longer.
•••
a/n: heartttt breakkkinggg, sorryyyy!
I also did just realize that I didn't post for three days before my latest chapter- I am very sorry!
😞💞