White as snow
Snow is falling
On my heart
I can't sense colour
I can't tell them apart
No colours in my world
There is only shade
In this glade
Where nobody paid
Any mind to what laid
On the floor with arms splayed
Playing a game they had never played
Wishing the light would fade
To scoop away the white with a spade
Only outlines are in view
Buildings, benches, moulders
Holding broken memories and thoughts
Stationary in time, Never decaying,
The empty shells of what was once a tear.
I lay buried, numb
My head poking through the top of the snow
The weight on top of me, heavy
Looking at the white sky , the white clouds
The white leaves, the white branches
The white curtains, the white bricks
The white blanket
I know it's there
The colour
The order
The emotion
The feeling
The love
The loss
The sorrow
The happiness
I just can't reach it
I can't lift my arms
My eyelids are heavy
My face as white as the snow
My lips turn blue and my breath freezes in my throat
It's caught
I don't panic
I relax and i settle
I know this will ease
Little by little
The sun will rise
At some point
The snow will melt
At some point
I will feel
At some point
I'll be free
At some point
I will lie
Beneath the snow
Beneath this weight
Until i'm ready
To re-open the gate
7/1/2021