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Go ahead and say what's on your mind
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BENTLEY
"I don't get it. You're only fucking Harry now?" Allegra says, taking off her metalworking mask.
We had been talking about Harry and I for the past thirty minutes since I got to work. Harry hung around my place for an hour just talking nonsense about Luna and how much he hated her before he started falling asleep. I sent him back, he was clearly hungover.
"Yeah. We were only screwing each other anyway so nothing's really changed. Just no more Apollo."
"Is he good?"
"Best I've ever had." I laugh. "What about you and Zayn? I saw you on him the other day."
"Zayn? Yeah, absolutely not. We're friends."
"So does that mean you'll hook up with Niall next time we see him again?" I ask, and she clenches her jaw at the reminder.
"I don't know. I'm not into Zayn like that. He's hot as fuck though." She admits.
"Ew shut up this is like listening to my siblings talk about fucking each other... maybe you should stick to Niall." I grimace, looking at the time. "Shit it's late. Where's Dorian?"
"Upstairs in the loft. He's sleeping here tonight, something about Apollo fucking some other chick."
"I'm going to go check on him, close up the shop please?" I ask, and she rolls her eyes playfully before getting to closing everything.
I walk up the steps and into the loft, finding a sleepy Dorian sprawled on the sofa. I grab the blanket from the basket and walk over to him, covering him from the air conditioner which was blowing on him.
He grumbles a bit, moving until he opens one eye and looks at me. "Thanks." He says groggily.
"Did you eat?" I ask.
"You know, for someone who has one meal a day and lives off nicotine gum and diet soda you're really concerned about what I eat." He laughs.
"Answer the question, D."
"Yeah. Allie brought up some food earlier." He says, eyes closed. "Are you working tomorrow?"
"Nope. All you. Allie and I finished the big repairs so if anyone comes in with one tell them that they'll have to wait. She's going to visit her parents this week."
"Aren't they from here?"
"They retired to Florida... somewhere on the west coast." I reply. "Only paint jobs and shit that you can handle, alright?" I tell him.
"Yes ma'am." He sighs. "What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Something else." I shrug. "Go to bed Dorian. I love you."
"Love you too, Benny." He returns, turning around and nuzzling into the couch.
I leave the loft, coming down to see Allegra taking her overalls off. I do the same, leaving them hung up on the rack.
"What time does your flight leave?" I ask her, washing my hands from any of the motor oil that might have fallen on them.
"4 AM."
"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you?" I offer again.
"I'm sure. I'll Uber. I have to go though, I'll see you in a week?"
"I'll be here." I tell him, pulling her in for a hug. We walk out of the shop, locking it up and leaving the keys in the spot we always do. Allie walks over to her little red beetle car and I sit in the Mustang, both of us pulling out of the lot and heading home.
I get back to the walkup, and I'm exhausted. Harry's car wasn't in the usual spot, so I don't even bother walking by Harry's apartment to knock on his door and leave like I had done a few times.
He actually complained about it today, he thought he had been hearing things but it was just me being an asshole. Oops. We'd laugh about it one day.
I open the doors to my apartment and it feels lonely already. I miss Rumer and Zayn a lot... and Apollo was working all the fucking time now at the parlor. Allie leaving just added to this feeling but I wasn't going to beg anyone to hang out with me or talk to me. It seemed desperate and I was only willing to be called that in bed.
By Harry.
This morning was a lot. There was so much that Harry had owned up to and I was so glad he was honest with me about everything. When I called Rumer I was losing my shit and he snapped at me and forced me to see that what I was doing was letting myself get overwhelmed. I can't afford to get overwhelmed, and I know that. Luckily, he talked some sense into me and yelled at me for what I said to Harry before I drove them to the airport.
I felt really bad about it... I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if he ever said that to me.
His words meant something to me, especially after the transparency we had this morning. Well, that and the orgasm. I hadn't dry humped someone until I came since senior year of highschool and fuck me if I didn't want to do it again. Harry was otherworldly when it came to making me feel good.... Feel something. Whether it was anger, annoyance or pleasure... there was never a dull moment with him.
Another thing I felt bad about was calling whatever was going on between us an exchange, because I knew it wasn't. I had given Harry a lot of power over me in ways I hadn't submitted to anyone before. I trusted him now, and I knew we could make a good team because we were more alike than I thought.
Then again, there's that whole 'I'm a hitman' thing combined with the fact that Luna wants me dead eventually. Fuck I had a huge target on my back now more than ever. If Luna wanted me dead, she'd send Harry after me, which is something we both knew but didn't say. I didn't want to think about it because we had finally agreed on some exclusivity between us.
We were each other's official distraction, high, escape.... It was physical and I was a physical person, Harry too. It was a good agreement and I was excited to see what he wanted to try, and see how willing he was to try things with me.
I take a long shower, washing my hair and all the car dirt off my body before opening up my fridge, cracking open a diet coke and grabbing my laptop, throwing a movie on and laying down, eventually falling asleep.
The next morning, I'm up early, dressed and ready to go furniture shopping for a new couch with Harry. I walk down the stairs to his hall, knocking on the door and when he doesn't reply, I pick the lock and make my way in.
"Good morning Mr. Styles, time to go buy me a new couch!"
"What the fuck?" He says, and his low morning voice catches me off guard. Fuck he is so hot.
"Uh- We're shopping today. Thank you're taking me to lunch because I'm hungry once a day and that's in approximately three hours." I tell him, kicking my shoes off and sitting on his couch.
"What time is it?" He groans.
"10:30. Come on, get up." I say, sliding my phone open and scrolling through.
"Make me." He bites back, and I lift my head enough to look over the backrest of the sofa to lock eyes with him. He's got a cocky look on his face and it's mixed with a groggy expression.
"Aw, does Harry have some morning wood he needs taking care of?" I tease.
"S'not every morning the girl I'm fucking walks into the room first thing in the morning." He shrugs.
"I'd help you out there but you haven't brushed your teeth yet and I don't like you nearly enough to put myself through that."
"How much do you like me then?"
"You were in the negatives yesterday and today you broke even."
"So I'm at zero?"
"That's better than negative 24. Don't complain, get up."
He groans again before rolling out of bed, and I hear him in the bathroom getting ready. He walks out a few minutes later, and walks past me to the kitchen, opening his fridge and pulling out an apple, biting into it and eating it quickly.
"Alright, let's go." He says, and I jump up.
"I'm driving." I say, but he tells me a quick no. "No, Harry. I'm driving."
"Why can't I drive?"
"You just can't." I reply.
I was the only one who drove whenever I was in the car. It wasn't because of anything remotely justifiable, but I just needed that control. I had given up too much to Harry and this was one of the things I wasn't willing to give up.
I don't think I ever will.
"I don't get it. You know I'm a good driver." He shrugs. "Let me drive."
"I said no. Respect that." I snap, and he steps back. "Uh, shit- just let me drive. I always drive if I'm in the car."
He nods in affirmation, and follows me out to the garage, staying quiet. I open up the Bronco instead of the Mustang, knowing if I bought a couch I'd need some space to carry it.
"How many cars do you have?" He asks.
"Three."
"What are their names?" He asks, shutting his door.
"I don't name cars like you, psychopath." I laugh, turning on the car.
"You don't name them? What? Why not?"
"Because then you get attached. It's a machine, not a person. It'll die."
"People die too, you still name them." He refutes.
"Harry, a person is not equivalent to a car." I deadpan, turning onto the street. "Being attached to people is different from a machine."
"Not when a machine was all you had." He says casually. "Arlo was the only constant in my life when I was younger."
His tone is a little more somber when he speaks and his eyes are glued to the mat at the bottom of his feet.
"Then I get that..." I say, turning on another road. "Why Arlo?"
"I just like the way it rolls off the tongue. I got him when I was 17, bought him by myself." He says proudly.
"Did you race back in England too? Or just the hitman job?" I ask hesitantly.
"Both. Started racing... my mates got me into it... got wrapped up with the wrong people and then got out into the assassin for hire realm."
"Someone was friends with you? Poor them." I say sarcastically, and he smirks, looking at me from his side.
"Louis and Liam, grew up with them." He adds. "Haven't spoken to them since I started the whole hitman thing."
"When was that?"
"I was 19... maybe 20? I don't know." He's answering my questions and I like that he is. It was something we had gotten into the fight about. I was glad he stopped deflecting.
"Shit you were young, Harry... did you actually lose count of how many-"
"Kills? Yes." Harry replies as I pull into the parking lot of the furniture store.
"What's the last number you remember?" I ask, and he touches the tip of his nose with his knuckle before answering.
"201."
"When was that?" I ask, keeping my eyes on removing the key from the ignition. The eye contact was making him nervous and I didn't want his walls to go back up.
"Five years ago." He replies quickly, opening the door and stepping out, ending our conversation.
If he started his hitman gig at 19 or 20, that meant by five years ago, he would have been 21 with over 200 kills. Fuck... I would have lost count too.
We walked into the store, ignoring the woman who asked if we needed anything and heading towards the back.
"Alright, time to test these out." I say, sitting on the first couch I see.
"You plan on sitting on every single sofa? Bentl-"
"Maybe you should sit too... I might want to fuck you on my new sofa you're paying for." I tell him, and the glint in his eyes shimmers as he sits next to me.
"I don't like this one." He says, standing and grabbing my arm to sit at the next. "Yeah no, not this one."
I laugh and him and he joins in, exposing that dimple of his. "I like your dimple."
"Thanks." He says, running his hand through his hair nervously.
"You've officially gone up 2 points in the liking scale." I smile sitting on the next couch. "I like this one." I say.
"Can you picture yourself getting fucked on it?" He says suggestively, sitting next to me. "Oh yeah, I could fuck you on this."
"You tend to forget who's in charge, Harry." I reply, turning my knees towards him.
"I'm pretty sure I'm in charge, especially after yesterday... how sore is your arse?"
"So British." I roll my eyes, my nose brushing his jaw.
"Don't deflect, Hale." He tells me, his hand traveling to my thigh.
"My arse is absolutely gobsmacked." I reply, mocking his accent and making him laugh out loud, his dimple so deep that I wanted to bury myself in it.
He has a nice smile... I liked his smile.
"Never do that again. I'm begging you." He says between chuckles.
"Look who's begging now!" I tease, and he rolls his eyes, moving my body to straddle his hips. "Careful, saleswoman might kick us out for indecency."
"Does it look like I give a shit? It's my couch now."
"My couch." I correct him, and he leans into my lips, brushing over them while his hands ghost over the curve of my ass as he speaks.
"Our couch." He says quickly before kissing me hard, tongue running over my bottom lip and intertwining with mine. His warm mouth tastes like a fresh apple and fuck me I would take him here if I could.
I pull away before shit could get too out of hand and his dazed and breathless expression makes me laugh at him. "I'm hungry, let's go... you're buying me lunch."
"Am I just your sugar daddy now?" He asks as I start moving away.
"I call you daddy for a reason, don't I?" I replied, walking to the saleswoman and telling her the couch I wanted.
Harry helps load it into the back of the bronco after paying, and I start driving to our next destination. We leave Oakland, crossing the bridge into San Francisco. The last thing we needed was Luna being made aware of Harry and I being together, so staying in the city wasn't the smartest decision.
We were halfway across the bridge when Harry started talking again.
"Do you not listen to music when driving?"
"No. I like the sound of the engine more."
"Do you listen to music at all?" He asks, and when I say no, he gives me a disgusted look. "I don't think I can ever fuck you again after finding that out."
"What's the big deal? I think the sound takes away from the words." I return, thinking about my own works.
I did poetry, not music. The instrumentals take away from the meaning, and that's why I didn't listen. I hadn't written in so long... I was just in need of inspiration.
"Sound? You mean instrumentals."
"It's just noise, Harry." I reply.
"Are you mad? What type of music do you listen to that's just 'noise'?"
"Whatever Allegra plays when we work. Why?"
"Do you know who Stevie Nicks is?"
"Steve Aoki?"
"Of course fucking Allergy listens to that shit.." He mumbles. "Run this car off the bridge now." He deadpans. "Stevie Nicks. N-I-C-K-S."
"Never heard of him."
"HIM?" He yells, and I turn to face him angrily.
"Will you stop yelling?" I snap. "I'm fucking driving across a bridge!"
"Ben, we aren't on the bridge anymore.
"Oh." I say, looking back at the road and taking the first exit onto the main street into the city. "It doesn't matter. Stop yelling."
"Stevie Nicks basically is the only woman to ever exist."
"Am I not real? Did I not make you come yesterday or am I missing something?" I ask.
"Well, obviously you but if it wasn't for Stevie you wouldn't exist."
"Alright Harry, whatever you say."
"I'll prove it to you one day." He says when I park. "Where are we going?"
"We're getting Irish coffees and french toast."
"It's one o'clock Bentley. You're drinking already?"
"If I drink after four it'll fuck with my medication. This is my window and I want a boozy coffee." I tell him, and we walk out of the car, the couch protruding from the back as we walk up the hill into the diner on the corner.
We sit in a booth across from each other, and I order for the both of us the second we sit. The waitress brings the drinks and tells us the french toast will be here soon.
"Alright, let's talk." I tell him.
"About?" He asks, taking a sip of the drink and licking his top lip to clean the residue off.
"Luna." I shrug. "Why does she want to kill me?"
"I told you this already."
"Well... you know you're going to be the one to do it, right?" I tell him, and he puts his drink down.
"Do what? Kill you?" I nod. "I'm not going to kill you Bentley."
"Well why not?" I reply. "You have to do what Luna says. You, Rumer and Z can work on Luna and I'll be one less prob-"
"I'm not letting anyone kill you, much less me." He deadpans. "End of story."
"I don't get it. Everything would be easier. I don't give a shit if I die as long as my family is okay." I tell him, my voice serious.
"Bentley-"
"Here's your french toasts!" The redheaded waitress says, putting our plates in front of us. "Would you like some syrup?"
"Yes."
"No." Harry and I speak at the same time.
"You don't like syrup either?" He exclaims.
"Nope." I pop the p of my words and take my first bite.
"What the fuck?"
"I'll be back with your syrup sir." The waitress says, walking away.
"Anyway, I think if she asks you to kill me you should. She's going off the rails and if she goes back on our deal... well, I don't want any of my friends dying." I say simply.
"If it gets there, we'll figure it out. I'm not killing you."
"I just don't understand why thi-"
"You aren't disposable, Ben. Not to your friends, and not to me." He says, green eyes focusing on my brown ones.
Whenever he looks at me it feels like every part of me is being examined and it's an addictive feeling... everything about him. All of my friends had told me the same thing... that I'm not disposable, that I matter.
I had brushed all that aside because they're my friends. It's their job to make me feel that way.
Harry telling me this was different. We were fuckbuddies, not friends... maybe he just wanted me around for a quick fuck but he could find that with anyone. I couldn't help but feel like we were a bit more to each other. Maybe we were friends...
It scared me.
More people to care about meant more shit that could be used against me... more shit to lose.
It was too late for that fear though, the fear of losing and caring for people... I was already hooked on Harry.
"O-okay." I stutter, looking down at my french toast. "Thank you, for not hypothetically killing me."
"I would say anytime but I wouldn't mean it." He winks, and I laugh as the waitress brings the syrup to the table and Harry slathers it over his french toast.
"How do you eat that?" I give him a grossed out look.
"Same way I eat pussy, eagerly and masterfully." He says casually.
"You call me a narcissist but you literally just referred to yourself as a master of eating pussy."
"Am I not? You seemed to like it when I did."
"You should remind me... I think I forgot." I taunt, and he finishes chewing on the last piece.
"Only if you beg." He returns.
"I won't beg."
"Then unfortunately, I cannot be of service." He smirks, but all I can think of is a challenge.
Call it competitive nature.
"How much do you want to bet I'll have you on your knees tonight?" I say, leaning back on my seat.
He looks around the room for a minute, debating what he was willing to put on the table.
"I'll give you the keys to my apartment."
"No more breaking in? What a deal." I tease. "And if I succeed?"
"I'll give you the orgasm of your life, and you listen to Stevie Nicks' entire discography with me."
"You're on."
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AN:
ah yes, another challenge.
i love their banter, they're becoming friends!! how cute is that.
don't forget to comment and vote!!!!
check out my tiktok and tag me in any DRAG related content! my user is RBLLSTYLES :)
see you tomorrow.
ARABELLA.