"You're my downfall, you're my muse. My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues."
PARIS SYMERE LEDÈ
WINSTON-SALEM, NC.
I got out of bed and walked over to the door, snatching a piece of paper off of the door. "It's too early for stupid stuff." I was lying, it wasn't even early. It was the middle of the day.
Go downstairs and find all the clues or whatever the bullshit is called to continue the treasure hunt thing. I don't know what it's called P just go downstairs it's gone be worth it.
"He must've cooked for me because if it's not I'ma be mad as hell." I mumbled, keeping the paper in my hand I went downstairs to check in Key and Namaree's room but neither of them were in them. "What the hell?"
I saw a note attached to Namaree's crib so I went in there and grabbed it. I knew it had to be apart of this treasure hunt thing because he was a baby and there was no way he could read the note so obviously.
The kids are fine. I have Key and Namaree. We are okay, I know you're probably worrying but I promise we are okay. Go to the kitchen, that's where the next clue is.
"I hope it's some food," I huffed storming into the kitchen and looking around for a clue. I opened the microwave and saw a note taped to the inside and I snatched it. "Fuck this note, where is my food?"
I was tempted to throw the note away because he had me walking around this house looking for notes. These weren't clues, they were just making me look like an idiot.
Aint no food. Go buy yo own food later or eat some spaghetti but right now you gone focus on this. Now, there's two kids in the house. One of them is a baby but the other can play. In the living room there's something that Keyeha uses all the time, there's another clue in there.
I sucked my teeth and opened the fridge and grabbed the container of spaghetti out. I put some in a bowl and put in the microwave. I put the container back up and grabbed a fork before getting my spaghetti out of the microwave and continuing to go look at whatever.
I sat down in front of the Barbie Dreamhouse Key had got for Christmas and looked inside of it before I found a small book with a note attached to it. The note didn't say anything about any clues this time, all it said was Read this I ripped the note off the book and looked at the cover smiling at the title.
I examined the cover with the smile still on my face. It was cute, very cute. Especially since the characters on the cover were supposed to be us.
I smiled at it before digging in my bra and pulling my phone out to call him. He answered the call and I heard a lot of shushing and movement from his end which had me confused. "I'm not helping you with the treasure hunt."
"I don't need help, I was going to have you on the phone while I read the book you made."
"Oh," Was all he said before the call dropped and I smacked my lips before FaceTiming Key's iPad and she answered with her face extremely close to the camera.
"I can't talk right now Mommy, I'm so sorry I love you so much don't be mad at me byeeee!" She hung up the phone as well so I went to text her. Don't hang up on me.
𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐞 💗
Today 5:48 PM
Don't hang up on me Keyeha I was trying to talk to you.
I know i'm. So srry I luv u 😍😜❤️
Why can't i talk to you?
Idk mommy call ur frans
☹️ mommy doesn't have any
😢 I do
I sucked my teeth and flipped to the next page of the book. I was very irritated at the fact that neither one of them were answering my calls and when they did they couldn't hold a conversation with me.
I smiled at the fact that my nickname was on there since it made it a little bit more personal. I then went to the next page, and laughed at what was on there. I found this one very ironic because me and Chase argued a lot, mainly for stupid reasons but still.
"I still don't know how this is a clue though, he's dumb but at least it's cute." I continued flipping through the pages while eating, trying my hardest to not get any spaghetti sauce on it.
"Well, at least he knows that I'm smarter than him." I mumbled, slurping up some more spaghetti noodles before flipping through the pages some more.
"Not this..." I mumbled looking at this one.
Looking at the next page I had gotten a little sad. Sure, I've gotten better but knowing that not too long ago I couldn't even bare to look at my son yet here this page was saying how much I love son.
I know to others this wouldn't be this serious and they'd just keep going with the book but I personally had to sit the spaghetti down and just take a minute to look at this page.
"Okay, next page before I start crying like a lil' bitch." I mumbled to myself as I flipped to the next page and grabbed my bowl of spaghetti again.
I closed the book and flipped it on the back, seeing another 'clue' taped to the back of it.
You like the book don't you? I know, you better because I paid damn near $50 for it. Now, go take a shower and get all pretty looking for me and then go to this address: 100 Reynolda Village, Winston-Salem, NC 27106. I love you
"I always look pretty." I mumbled standing up and going all the way back upstairs.
It took me a while to look through the closet and find something nice before I just settled on a baby pink satin bodycon dress. I was going to wear this whenever me and Chase ended up doing something special but if I didn't wear it by now I probably wouldn't be able to fit it soon.
I grabbed a pair of white heels that weren't too short nor too tall before thinking about what I was going to wear under it. I wasn't going to wear a bra because the straps were so thin that a bra would look weird and I was debating on letting it breathe or just putting on a thong or anything that wouldn't show through the dress.
"Thong equals easy sex." I tapped my chin. "No underwear at all equals even easier sex.."
"An all black thong is kind of classy though," I opened my underwear drawer and grabbed a black thong that I had before tossing that on the bed with the rest of my outfit.
"Alright, let's get cute miss bitch." I clapped my hands before going into the bathroom.
•••
"It's giving." I took the scarf off of my hair, revealing the slicked back bun that I had. It was a little wavy but I wasn't about to do a whole lot of extra shit to make it smooth, it was fine how it was.
I put the scarf in the armrest before turning the car off and grabbing my keys to put them in my purse. I took a deep breath before getting out of the car and making my way over to where I saw candles.
When I got over there, the first people I noticed were Ryan and Irazji who were standing holding roses.
"Now what the hell?" I stopped and stared at the both of them.
"Stop staring and grab the flowers, I got the nervous farts." Ira held the flowers out and I shook my head taking them from her.
"I don't, Ira just a dirty bitch." Ryan gave me the other flowers. "Now gone now, walk."
"Fine, fine." I started walking again and my granddad was standing there holding Namaree while Key stood next to them holding flowers as well.
"Here," Key handed me the flowers. "They hurted my hands."
I took the flowers from her, kissing her cheek before looking at my granddad who was staring at me.
"I like this one Symere. Bobby's good for you, sadly."
"I'm scared." I said lowly. I don't know what the hell this man has planned. "What's going on?"
"Why would I ruin the surprise?"
"It's nowhere near my birthday." I mumbled as I just kept walking, hearing All of Me by John Legend playing. I don't know where it was coming from, probably from a speaker or something because I know they ain't got John up in here.
What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawin' me in and you kickin' me out
You've got my head spinnin', no kiddin'
I can't pin you down
I looked around but I didn't see my mom anywhere, the only other person that I saw was Chase who was slowly walking towards me. I felt someone push me forward making me turn around seeing Ira. "Don't fucking push me I could've fell."
"You didn't, you was just standing there looking like a dummy."
"Shush."
I walked halfway to where Chase was and he came to stand in front of me, grabbing my hands. There was a quick silence, all you could hear was the music.
My head's under water, but I'm breathin' fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
"Paris, for a long period of time in my life I was in a dark space. I was abusing drugs and in a relationship with a fucked up ass human who made me feel like I wasn't worthy of nothing good. I didn't even try to look for love after Sonny because I always felt like I was gone be dealt the wrong hand, and maybe I was. Maybe I always got the short end of the stick and maybe I deserved that. I never really felt genuine happiness or genuine love at that...until I met you."
You're my end and my beginnin'
Even when I lose, I'm winnin'
"I know I was an ass to you at first, I know I can still be an ass to you at times but I'm working on it, I promise. You helped me get clean, even if you don't wanna take the credit for that it's the truth. I love you, I'm in love with you and I don't ever want to live through a day where I can't wake up to you. You make me feel like I'm worthy of love or something. You changed my life, not only with just you but with Key too. The both of y'all might just be two of the most important people in my life right now,"
"Thank you!" I heard Key yell, making me laugh to myself.
"I love you, P. You already got my child so take my last name too." He shrugged his shoulders before he pulled something out of his back pocket and got down on one knee.
Not my stomach doing cartwheels.
"Paris Symere Ledè," He opened the box, showcasing a beautiful ring with diamonds around my birthstone. "Will you marry me?"
How many times do I have to tell you?
Even when you're crying, you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around
Through every mood
"Duh," I tried to hold back my tears but failed miserably the minute he put the ring on my finger before he stood up and started pecking my lips multiple times. I grabbed the back of this head, making the kiss deeper while everybody else just cheered in the background.
I won.
"I'm getting married next, I'm manifesting it."
"Irazji, I'm begging you to shut the hell up. Ain't nobody marrying you, you ain't got no basic skills."
"They just swallowing tongues and shit, Key cover your eyes."
"They tryna' make another baby that's the problem with they lil' fast asses."
They're ruining the moment.
I pulled away from the kiss and turned around to see all of them just staring and talking shit. "We were having a moment."
"A moment that's meant for the bedroom."
I rolled my eyes before looking back at Chase who was staring at me. "The kids are going home with them, by the way."
"Yeah, that was a thought."
•••
"If that's what married sex gone be like, I might need to get more stamina." Chase breathed out making me laugh. "You did gymnastics?"
"Nope." I shrugged before turning to look at him. "I have a question."
"What?"
"Why wasn't my mom there? Did she just not show up when you told her?"
"Nah, she just wasn't invited." He said all nonchalantly which made my eyes widen. What do you mean she wasn't invited?
"Huh?"
"When you got back you told me that yo' mom tried to force you into aborting Key and I don't fuck with that so I didn't invite her." He shrugged. "She didn't come to the hospital when Namaree was born either, that's strike number one."
"Well, for one my mom works long ass shifts and for two my granny wasn't at the hospital or the proposal and she didn't force me into almost getting an abortion so why wasn't she there?"
"I invited yo' granny just like I invited everybody else but yo' granddad said she wasn't feeling good so I wasn't gone make her get up and come. She old and old people already damn near dead, why would I risk her dying earlier than she already gone die?"
"Your family wasn't there either."
"I know. They wasn't invited."
"They're family."
"So? Family don't always deserve to be there for big moments in yo' life. Them niggas was never there before."
"Chase, you cannot hold this grudge against them forever. Especially against your siblings, it's not their fault that they didn't call or come visit."
"I couldn't blame them back then because I was in rehab and shit so it wasn't that serious, but I been out for two years. They knew I was out because I called that house and I texted them separately but nobody texted me back and nobody even spoke about a visit. You don't think I would've let this shit go if they just texted me back or something? I would've been dropped it but they never texted or called but when a child that I made is born they wanna show up. No, fuck 'em. We don't need 'em."
"You're gonna need your brother for the wedding." I mumbled and he just looked at me.
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are. You need a best man."
"Ira." He said making me make a face. I could've sworn that a man was supposed to be the best man but I've never been married before so, what do I know?
"Ira? As in my sister?" I asked and he nodded. "No."
"No?"
"No. My sister isn't your best man, make things better with your brother and then you boom, you'll have one."
"I don't want my brother in my wedding and if the lil' nigga even bother showing up he can sit his funny looking ass in the crowd."
The minute he said that, something in my mind clicked. "Chase, we don't even have friends. Who the fuck gone even be at our wedding?"
"I know people that work at the shop I can invite them." He shrugged. "You got people at yo' job you can invite, right?"
"I don't really speak to people and I haven't even been back at work yet because my boss said that I needed to take some time off for my mental health or whatever."
"Well, invite Nicole." He said, chuckling a little and I furrowed my eyebrows.
"You had sex with her."
"Huh?" He looked confused but I'm not stupid, I know exactly what happened.
"You had sex with her. It's no surprise, but you had sex with her before, didn't you?"
"You hungry? I'm hungry." He grabbed his shorts off the floor and put them on before tossing me his shirt that was on the floor. "Cover up them titties, them thangs just thangin'."
"Shut up," I put the shirt on before following him downstairs to the kitchen. "You still didn't answer me."
"You ain't ask nothing."
Uh, yes I did??
"I asked if you had sex with Nicole." I leaned over the counter as he pulled some salmon out of the freezer and put it in the sink, running hot water over it. "Hellooooo?"
"That don't matter if I was," He walked to the other side of counter and gave me a kiss. "I'm having sex with you now so."
"Just tell me. I always had a thought that y'all had sex before because she listened to you and there's no way she—"
"All the time." He cut me off, making my mouth drop open.
"You be kissing on me with Nicole infested lips," I put my hand on my heart and started breathing quickly. "I can't breathe."
"Well, for one I never kissed her."
"Wait," I paused. "Y'all actually had sex in that building multiple times and she still has a job? Yeah, I'm reporting her goofy ass."
"Don't even do it."
"I am, she fired me for not even having a inch of the dick, but two fingers." I scrunched my face up. "I only got fired because I admitted to it. It had to be because I ended up actually getting into a relationship afterwards and she was just a quick fuck."
"Now—"
"That's crazy."
"Don't even speak on it because it's useless and you got a new job that be paying higher than they did so don't even trip."
"Okay, fine I won't but still that's so crazy how she made such a big deal about it and she was fucking on you too." I sucked my teeth. "When did it stop?"
"When you got there."
"Well was it good?" Now I wanted to know.
"I mean pussy is pussy at the end of the day so it was good enough to get me through a few months."
•••
"Why you looking at me while I sleep?" I rubbed my eyes. It was too damn early for him to just be staring at me.
"Can't look at you?"
I just smiled before reaching on the nightstand to grab my phone, checking the time. "Oh, oh shit, I uh, I gotta go!"
"Where you going?" He asked and I just got out of the bed and went to the drawers, getting an outfit. "And who you dressing up for?"
"I'm going to breakfast with a friend." I walked over to him, grabbing the side of his face before kissing him repeatedly.
I went and took a shower and took care of all of my personal hygiene before putting on some lotion, deodorant and my outfit before I headed out and went to the nearest iHOP. When I arrived and walked in, I looked around before seeing exactly who I was looking for.
I made my way to the table and Nadia looked up from her phone with a smile. "P Diddyy!"
"Naughty Nadiiii!" I dragged out, laughing as I took a seat. These were just random nicknames we both came up with when we were both at the psych hospital together.
"Aw, he proposed?" She asked the minute she saw the ring. She grabbed my hand and examined it with a huge smile before looking up at me. "I'm in the wedding, right?"
"I—uh, sure. Why not?" I shrugged. I didn't have friends, only sisters, one of them was going to be a best man.
"Sooo, how you been?"
"Um, I've been fine. I had sex last night for the first time since I got back which was great, like mind blowing."
"I still haven't had sex," She tossed her head back. "A vibrator can only do so much."
"He's still not speaking to you?"
"Nope, but this time it's for a different reason. We were talking when I got back then I got drunk and I kept getting drunk and he told me to get sober before he left me, I told him I didn't need him and then he left me." She shrugged, a smile still on her face. I'm not sure how she was smiling through that, I'd cry but then again I'm sensitive and she was the opposite.
"How come you couldn't just stop drinking? Have you seen Jai?" I asked. Jai was her son who was around six or seven months and she barely was around him because she got sent to a psych ward since she wasn't in the right state of mind.
"Not since he left. I mean, I'm not really tripping off it." She moved her straw around, stirring up her hot chocolate.
"But that's your son and your husband. He's not your boyfriend, not your baby daddy, your husband, the man you've been married to for the past two years."
"Not married anymore." She held her hand up, showing that there was no ring on her finger. "He served me with divorce papers last night. Said he didn't wanna be married to an alcoholic."
"I'm sorry," I frowned. I hated that. I feel like marriage was supposed to be forever, for better or for worse. It was obvious they were going through the worse part right now.
"Don't be sorry. I don't care, didn't care about the marriage too much in the first place. He wanted to get married, I never did. It was just a piece of paper and going from one title to another. Marriage usually ends in divorce."
Ah, just the words a new fiancée wants to hear.
"I wonder how our grandparents did it, being married for fifty and sixty years? The love must've been different."
"My grandma stabbed my grandfather fifteen times, he didn't die but he called the cops on her and then bailed her out the same day." She tapped her chin. "Yeah, the love really was different because I would never."
"You think my marriage is gonna end in divorce?" I asked her with genuine concern in my voice. I loved Chase and if I was going to marry him I planned on being married to him for the rest of my life.
"I mean, it's not my marriage so I can't really speak on it but if you just stop feeling like you love him or you just don't wanna be with him anymore, then I'd take that as a sign your marriage is coming to an end so." She shrugged. "Let's eat, waiter!"
•••
ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! happy birthday to me and happy birthday to anybody whose birthday was yesterday, is today or was/is anytime this week! 🤍
ken karev-sloan-avery.