I don't wait to watch Luke beat the asshole senseless. I've seen Luke in enough fights over the summers to know that he'll be okay.
Barely breathing, heart pounding against my ribcage, I force my feet to carry me forward. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Until the laughter at their cruel joke has faded to nothing, the roaring ocean drowning out the party sounds.
Not for the first time, I wish the ocean would swallow me up, take me away. Drown out the hurt, the empty feeling in my chest.
"Dylan!" Luke calls somewhere behind me, heavy footsteps approaching quickly.
I don't stop, almost running down the barely
illuminated street. New blisters redden my heels but I keep going, the silent sobs racking my body despite my best efforts to hold myself together.
Scrape another drunk Anderson from the pavement.
My mind flashes back to the night of the accident, the terrible scene no one would let me visit. I saw it on the news. From what the news anchors reported, "scraping" from the pavement was probably the best way to describe it.
"Dylan, stop." Luke is somehow in front of me now. His long hands cup my cheeks, furiously wiping at the tears soaking my skin. "I'm sorry, shh."
Luke wraps an arm around my neck, tucking me tightly against his chest. Perhaps due to exhaustion, my body ready to collapse now that we're almost home in half the time it took me to walk over, or maybe because I just hurt so much, I let him.
Under the warm glow of the street light, Luke strokes my hair, murmuring softly in my ear.
After a couple of minutes, I pull away, rage filling me up as I shove hard against his chest. Disgust washes over me, shame and resentment clouding my vision.
"I'm sorry, Dyl." Luke says, pretty eyes sad even in the darkness.
"Don't call me that!" I shout, wrapping my own arms around my chest. "Don't," I whisper, sinking to my knees on the pavement.
Luke kneels before me, ignoring me as I push him away again. Grabbing my wrists, he stares at me intently until I finally break.
"How can they say that?" My voice cracks. I notice a light bruise around Luke's eye.
"I don't know. They're assholes." He frowns. "I'm sorry," he offers again.
"I don't get it," I continue, words hard to understand, muffled by my cries. "Casey is gone and it's like no one else even cares. Everyone just keeps going, like nothing changed. I can't... I can't," I lose track of my sentence as new sobs overtake me.
"I know." Luke mumbles, eyes clouding over.
"You don't," I shake my head and tear my wrists from his grasp. Standing, I shove past him, continuing my way back to Grams. Wiping my face, I continue, "Because he wasn't your brother. You didn't lose him like I did."
My heart feels like it's being torn apart, the pain hot and throbbing despite the years that have gone by. It never gets easier to breathe, to live, knowing Casey's last breath was years ago. It's not fair.
"He was my best friend." Luke follows, undoubtedly making sure that I make it home okay. "I lost him, too. Not the same Dylan, but I get it, sort of. Talk to me."
By now, we're on Grams front steps, the porch light flickering overhead. Luke glares at it as if the dying bulb is the source of our pain.
"I can't, Luke." I tell him honestly, too exasperated for my usual snarky sarcasm. I run my hand under my eyes, trying to get rid of the tears in case Grams is somehow awake.
"Why not?" His voice is pleading. I look up, catching the sadness, the hurt in his eyes. The longing, too.
I wish it was enough.
"Because," I twist the key in the door and shove it open with my foot, "If it weren't for you, Casey would still be here."
Mic drop.
who knew Casey was Dyl's big brother?
what do we think about the accident?
Love you! See ya in the comments & thanks for reading/voting/commenting ❤️