"See you tomorrow, Kuroba-kun!"
"Thanks for the amazing performance you did earlier, you're amazing!"
"You're very much welcome! See you guys tomorrow!"
It's already been 2 and a half years since his life has return back to normal after destroying Pandora and returning back to his normal life. Kaito would love to say everything did return back to normal however... it's far from that after that faithful day. He sighed then turn back to the opposite direction and headed back to his apartment. He wanted to open up to someone regarding this matter but nobody will be able to understand, if it were his Metantei he will but.. He's the reason why he's feeling like this.
Kaito wanted to turn back time and just stopped himself from doing such a thing however deep in his heart, he wanted it to happen, it was better than continuing their friendship with a one sided feelings towards the other. He just wished that he could've done it without affecting his friendship with Shinichi but how could someone confessed their love to someone and still keep everything the same as before?
"I was an idiot for thinking that..."
***
"METANTEI!!!"
Waking up in a panic, Kaito gasped for air and looked around seeing that he's still in his room. Calming down little by little, he could feel the hot tears coming out and the aching feeling on his chest that is too familiar for him to even be surprised at. When will he be able to sleep properly without waking up in a panic?.. He let the tears escaped and cried silently, out of habit he started to bite the string of the hoodie he's wearing and there, he realizes something. Looking down at the azure hoodie, he chuckled painfully between his cries as he grips tightly onto the hoodie.
"Even in this kind of situation, I can only find comfort through you huh, Shinichi..." Kaito said painfully as he let himself cried the pain out.
The hoodie he's wearing is a parting gift he had received from his Metantei during that time, at first he refused to accept it but before he could even return it back he was already left alone, in the rooftop of Haido Hotel where they first meet as Kaitou Kid and Edogawa Conan.
***
[Flashback]
(2 and a half years ago, the time Pandora is destroyed and Shinichi getting his normal body back)
"...What?"
"I can't accept your feelings, Kid. I just.. don't see you that way, I'm sorry."
They can finally return back to their old life but forgetting the bond they have build throughout their time as their alter ego? Kaito couldn't accept that, he wanted Shinichi to know how much he had fallen for him, how much he had saved him countless of times from falling into a deep misery. He wanted to tell him everything, expecting that Shinichi felt the same way but it was too good to be true after all...
"I-I was just kidding Metantei~ Who knew I can fool you just like tha-"
He was taken aback when suddenly, Shinichi pulled him into a hugged. His top hat falling off giving the detective access to stroke his hair gently, he wanted to embraced him back but his body wouldn't move. Truly unfair isn't it?.. Kaito remained standing there, with his mask slowly disappearing as he bit his lower lips to refrained the tears from falling.
"If you're gonna reject me, do it properly and don't get my hopes up..."
"Stop hurting yourself like this, Kuroba. There is no need for that... we can still remain as friends, this confession won't affect our friendship however.. please do not expect that we'll be more than that."
***
[Present]
Kaito didn't respond at that time and remained standing in front of Shinichi. He doesn't remembered what exactly happened but all he could remember is snapping back to reality, with the hoodie Shinichi is wearing wrapped around him. This just gave him more reason to fall deeply for the detective, even after years went by he can still somehow smell Shinichi's scent in the hoodie even after washing it.. has he fallen that much for him?
Seeing the fade coffee stained on the sleeves made him smiled and stopped crying. It was like his love for Shinichi; No matter how many times you try to remove it, it may seemed like it has disappeared but if you look closely... it's still there.
***
"Kuroba, are you alright?" Shinichi asked after placing down the half drank coffee on the table.
"O-of course! Why did you asked?" Kaito asked nervously as he nearly choked from the dessert he was eating.
"Your eyes are... never mind."
It was already the next day and like always, Kaito and Shinichi would eat lunch together while making small talks about their day. His eyes must've been red from all the crying he did last night huh? It was no surprised that Shinichi would noticed since.. this is not the first time he had seen the redness of the magician's eyes. Kaito didn't want Shinichi to find the reason for his tears so he quickly changed the topic and soon, the cries for his beloved Metantei that night was slowly forgotten and is now replaced by this moment.
No matter how many years had already passed, Kaito knows that it will be a difficult task to forget about these feelings he harbors for his Metantei. It was already hard to not fall for him even more but he knows that he will only get himself hurt if this continues on. But it's hard, really hard to just moved on.. Shinichi is just right there, in front of him but why does it feel like he's not within his grasp? If he did reached out once more, it feels like they will soon drift apart from each other..
Suddenly feeling a pain on his forehead, he finally snapped back to reality while he rubs the spot Shinichi had flicked his forehead at.
"You're not listening aren't you? Tell me, did... something happened last night?" Shinichi asked, concern that something has been bothering his friend.
Kaito was already expecting that sooner or later, Shinichi will finally asked what's been happening to him since.. These past few days, the weight in his heart has becoming even more unbearable to the point of breaking down every night. It's much more worse than a year ago, this time for sure, he will soon break himself to the point of no return..
Hiding the pain and misery behind his poker face, he grinned widely at Shinichi then tossed him a small ball which Shinichi didn't see coming as it suddenly exploded, covering him up with pink edible powder.
"... Right, I shouldn't have asked. "
"It's best to hide everything from you, Shinichi."
What Kaito didn't know is that Shinichi saw through him, he is no mere detective after all which is why the guilt that he has been ignoring finally began to eat him up once again.
"I'm sorry, Kaito."
***
"Shi.. nichi?.."
"I'm alright, have yourself be treated first!"
"B-But!- "
"Kaito please!- UGH!"
How did this happened?.. Everything was going according to plan but they never expected that there will be an accomplice in the case. When Shinichi finally realizes the existence of the accomplice, it was already too late. Both of them were injured from the fall but Shinichi got it worse since not only did he protected Kaito from the gunshot resulting into having his shoulder grazed, he also used himself to cushion their fall from the 3rd floor. Thankfully the tree below broke their fall decreasing the severity of Shinichi's injury and both the criminal and the accomplice was arrested.
Now, Kaito is inside the room where Shinichi is currently resting after being treated. It was a miracle that he didn't broke a rib or two and will be able to recover in a few weeks though Shinichi has his right arm and left leg casted while Kaito only has his left arm in a cast. Staring at the sleeping detective right in front of him on a hospital bed, he wanted to blamed himself and wished that he was there at his position instead however everything that occurred up to the moment the accomplice pointed the gun at him was Shinichi's decision to saved him but... why?
"KAITO!!!"
This is also the first time his Metantei had said his name... Is there something that he's missing here?
Startled from the door opening, he looked behind himself to find Mouri Ran with Hattori Heiji by her side. The news already got to them huh?... He wanted to stand up and leave since they can take care and watch over Shinichi instead of him but he can't, knowing that the detective practically risked his life in order to save him..
"Can we talk, Kuroba-kun?"
This made Kaito nervous for some reason as he stares at Ran with a worried look on his face. Did they figured out his feelings for the detective laying down beside him? Are they gonna throw him out of the room for endangering their friend's life? Do they.. hate him? Realizing the panic in his eyes, Heiji made the first move, patting his shoulder with a smile on his face.
"Go, I'll watch over him while ya two talk outside."
Kaito didn't have a choice and just followed Ran outside after muttering a 'thank you' to Heiji. Now, face to face with Shinichi's girlfriend outside of his room is truly nerve-racking but he already knows the time will soon come where they will found out about these feelings for the detective. He wanted to explained his part first and apologize but what Ran said shocked him.
"Shinichi loves you. He really do... ever since the day he rejected your confession, he regretted it to the point of physical and mentally hurting himself from all the sleepless nights he has been going through. Shinichi has a reason in why he needed to reject your confession, I really didn't want to tell you all of this since I want him to tell you this instead but I don't think he will. He cares for you so much that he's willing to sacrifice a future with you... for your sake and happiness."
"This.. can't be, Shinichi loves me? B-but it's impossible! Because she's his-"
Ran shook her head when he sees the doubt in his eyes causing Kaito to leaned against a wall. All this time, he thought Shinichi had rejected him for the reason that he will return back to Ran's side, that Shinichi loves her but... he was rejected for his sake?.. But what does he mean by that? When he would have given up everything just to be with him! Is there something more that he doesn't know? Another reason?
Kaito is on the verged of crying, realizing that Shinichi loves him back but he was still frustrated and confused as to why he was still rejected. Before a tear fell from his teary eyes, he heard a faint voice coming from inside the room Shinichi is in causing him to looked at the door behind him.
"Kaito, can you come in here for a second?"
"S-shinichi?"
Opening the door, he saw Shinichi sitting up from his bed. Thank goodness he is alright! The said detective patted the space on the bed, asking him to sit down. Can he take this as a sign that he will finally explain why he was rejected? On what Ran meant by it was for his sake and happiness?
Knowing that Shinichi and Kaito would have a long and private conversation, Heiji and Ran left the room to give them some privacy. They knew, that there was something more between their relationship as fated rivals even before Shinichi came out to them. At first, they thought it was only because the two had grown closer given the same circumstance they have with hiding their identity but who knew that it was love that has started to form between them?
Kaito did as he was told and sat down on the edge of the bed, however he couldn't looked at Shinichi in the eyes. He was scared, still afraid that after he heard the truth he might still get rejected until the end, despite their feelings being mutual. How many years have he waited for an opportunity to have another chance with him? How many sleepless nights did he have from waking up to a nightmare of Shinichi completely disappearing from his life? Just.. how many times have he felt so heartbroken every time he recalls the words of rejection Shinichi said to him that night?.. He didn't realized it up until now, but he was already crying. Kaito couldn't bear to hold it in any longer as he continues to cry, covering his face. He was ashamed that he's a crying mess when Shinichi was finally gonna explain his reason for rejecting him..
And then, he felt those warmth embraced once more as Shinichi finally began talking.
"First, I want to apologize for the pain I have caused. It wasn't my intention but I still hurt you when I desperately wanted to protect you. What Ran said earlier were all true, I indeed have fallen in love with you, so much so that I was afraid and became a coward. I didn't want to ruined your beautiful future by making you mine, I wanted you to have a normal life where you can fall in love with someone else instead and have a family, a son or a daughter who can follow your step to being a brilliant magician. I don't see anything good that will come out with going out with someone like me, a detective. There are lot of people hiding in the shadows who has their eyes on me and if they found out that you are my weakness, they might use this against me, they might use you. And.. I'm not confident enough that I can protect you from these risks, that's why I decided to reject you when you convey your feelings to me, it was painful but I'm willing to let you go because... that's how much I love you, Kaito."
The longer Kaito listened, the more he can feel the wounds he received throughout those 2 and a half years of loneliness and misery slowly closing up and healing. It was a closure he didn't know he will soon received from Shinichi, hearing his reason just made him want to love the detective more. He didn't care if Shinichi thinks of himself as being a coward who can't protect him, he will still love that cowardly side of his because... that's what love is.
Kaito finally pulled away from the hugged as he gives Shinichi a smile of joy, which took Shinichi aback. How could he deserved someone like Kaito... ever since he laid his eyes on the magician, he never expected that a seed has planted itself in his heart. The longer he spend time with him, the longer he thought of the magician and the more he cared for Kaito, the more the seed grows into a full bloom flower that he called Love. Can he still get another chance of a new start with his beloved magician?..
Soon, that question was answered when Kaito suddenly wrapped his unharmed arm around Shinichi's neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss. It was warmth and only short but Shinichi craved for more. They satisfied each other's longing and in search for one another's warmth that night, exchanging love with pure passion and honestly.
"I love you, Kaito. I promise to make it up to you and never make another mistake like that again."
"I-I love you too, Shinichi. Hmmp~ Never leave me all alone again, I wouldn't be a-able to live another day without you- Ahh! Shinichi~"
***
[Omake]
"Eh Hattori-kun? I thought you went to check if Kuroba-kun and Shinichi are doing alright??" Ran asked, confused that Heiji is still outside of the room Shinichi and Kaito is currently resting.
With the Osaka detective bright red, he pulled Ran before she could enter inside the room and said,
"Ohh I promised you, they're doin' alright. Much more than we expected so let's leave them be and return for about.. 2 hours- no, make it 4 hours."
***
A/N: I'm so sorry for that unexpected ending, my fingers type that on their own LOLOLOL So if y'all are wondering, "Author-san , why you keep updating sad ass oneshots?" So I did said back then that I have a lot of drafts that I couldn't managed to write until the end, this is one of those drafts which are mostly sad ass oneshots so my advance apology if another one of this is to be updated soon LOLOLOL
P.S. The april fools special isn't a sad one I promise!!!