"I'm quitting", my voice comes like a murmur and I avert my eyes quickly.
"What?", he looks at me in shock and adds in a loud voice. "No! You're not leaving."
My eyes start burning with unshed tears. I squeeze them tightly shut.
"Please I need to", I say in a soft voice. "I don't want anything to happen to Liam. Whatever happened was my fault and I'm scared to look after him now."
"It was not your fault", Stefan says quickly and cradles my cheeks in his palms. "I know you're extremely hurt because of my words and I regret saying them. I truly am."
Tears instantly start coming out of my eyes when I recall his harsh words. I was not like this before but now whenever something bad happen with either Stefan or Liam, I always end up in a teary mess. They make me feel so vulnerable.
"You were right", I sniff. "You should hire another more trustworthy and reliable nanny for Liam. He deserves the best. I broke your trust by letting Ana comes closer to him and I will always hate myself for it."
"You are the best for Liam", he presses in a stubborn voice. "I'm so sorry Jess. Please don't leave. Liam will be lost without you."
He leans his forehead against mine and whispers as if he is in pain. "I will be lost without you. We both need you so much."
"Stef...."
"Feel this", he says and places my palm over his heart. "This is what you do to me. Everytime I see you, everytime you talk and smile. You drive me crazy. We won't be able to live without you."
His heart is thumping wildly, matching mine and my breath falters when I see the pure raw emotions in his eyes.
"You're still leaving in two months forever", I add slowly. "We still have to leave each other..."
"I'm not leaving anymore", he states firmly. "I meant to tell you the other day but because of the fight we had, I didn't told you anything."
"I heard you when you were speaking with Eliot the other day", I say with a little frown.
"I cancelled everything again. We are not leaving without you."
Without me?
I look at him with my heart thumping wildly in my chest. A new hope is rekindle in my heart of us being together.
"Give me a chance please", he says and looks at me with hope. "I want to show you how truly sorry I am and how much you mean to me."
Does he wants us to be together? Why can't he just say it?
"I'm just your son's nanny Stefan", I add and avert my eyes from his probing ones.
"Not just a nanny", he says and leans down while speaking in a low voice. "You're much more."
His lips brush against mine and I finally close my eyes. His lips move slowly over mine and I turn mushy.
"Give me a chance please", he murmurs when he pulls back.
Should I say yes?
"Okay", I murmur breathlessly.
"Did you just said yes?", he asks with a smile.
"Yes", I smile.
"You won't regret it", he says and wraps his arms around me. I bury my head in his neck and sign. I hope so Stefan. You already have my heart and I hope you don't break it.
He dips his head for another kiss and this time I can feel his desperation for me. I lean against him when he weaves his fingers through my hair.
"Let's go home baby", he murmurs and places a kiss on both side of my cheeks then on my forehead.
Home. I like the sound of that more now.
"Thank God everything's fine now", I hear Leo's voice suddenly. I did not even hear when the door has opened.
"You better take good care of her Black or else I'm gonna throw hands!", he says in a serious tone. "You're already in my bad list with your name at the top written with red ink in capital and bold letters. Don't you dare hurt her! Lord knows how much I held myself from squaring up with you earlier! Anyways I'm waiting downstairs and I'm gone so continue both of you."
Leo takes his dramatic leave as always. I feel heat on my cheeks when I look back at Stefan.
"Wow", he chuckles. "He's really something. Quite dangerous as well."
I laugh at him. He looks lowkey scare of Leo.
"I missed hearing you laugh", he says giving me an affectionate look. "I missed you so much."
"I missed you too", I say truthfully.
He picks me up bridal style in one swift.
"No more missing each other now", he grins and starts walking towards the door. All eyes turn on me and I try to hide my face in his neck.
"I can walk Stefan", I whisper yell. "People are staring."
"Let them. I don't care", he says and adds seriously, "I'm already working on my chance. I want to show you how much sorry I am for my words."
I lean my head against his shoulder and finally decide to ignore the probing gaze of everyone. Leo is already waiting for us near the car. He wiggles his eyebrows mischieviously when he sees me. My cheeks start burning instantly.
"Jess I'm leaving....", he starts saying but I interrupt.
"Already Leo?", I pout. "You said you will come home with us."
"I know", he sighs and adds with a smirk. "I will come at your place later. Right now I really need to submit my final assignment. I could not concentrate on it properly because I was so worried about you."
"I'm sorry", I say, feeling really bad that he could not do his work properly because of me.
"It's okay B", he shrugs. "Now get going. Liam must be waiting for you."
He gives me a kiss on my cheek and giving Stefan an I see you sign, he leaves.
"What's his problem with me?", he murmurs and shifts uncomfortably.
"Give him time", I console him while grinning. "Maybe one day he will like you."
"I don't think so", he chuckles and places me in the passenger seat gently.
"Ready to go?", he asks.
I nod eagerly.
We reach his house after a few minutes. I'm dying to hold Liam in my arms. I open the door quickly and Stefan chuckles at me.
"Eager are we?", he asks while removing his seatbelt. I nod enthusiastically. I just want to hug Liam. It's been so long since I held him. Well technically, it's been only an hour or so but still. I want to hold him.
Stefan comes around the car and helps me to get down. He wraps his arm towards my waist and makes me lean completely on him. He really won't let me walk huh?
"At this point why don't you just pick me up?", I tease.
"Your wish my command ma'am", he smirks and picks me up instantly.
"You're so silly", I laugh.
"I'm so happy you're back", he says in a low voice, his eyes shining with adoration and places a gentle kiss on my lips.
"I'm glad I'm back too."
I wrap my hands more tightly around his neck while he walks inside in the house.
"Jessssss", Ciara shrieks happily with a happy Liam in her arms. "You're back home. We miss you."
"Ciara", I smile. "I miss you too."
Liam is wearing a teddy bear onesie and let me tell you one thing, he looks so adorable with those ears. He lifts his chubby hands towards me and I instantly try to get down from Stefan's arms.
"You need to sit first", he states instead and starts walking towards the couch. Liam immediately starts crying when he sees that Stefan is taking me away from him.
"Walk quickly!", I order.
"Yes ma'am"
Stefan places me gently on the couch and when Ciara sits next to me with Liam, he instantly crawls on my lap. I wrap my arms around his little soft body and sigh peacefully. I have missed him so much.
"How are you feeling Jess?", Ciara asks with concern. "Your face still has a little bit swelling."
"It's fine", I assure her and gives her hand a little squeeze. "Thank you for being here for me Ciara. It really means a lot."
"That's what friends are for silly", she says and inching closer to my ear, she whispers , "I want to be the bridesmaid."
"What?", I ask, shock but she only winks at me and then turns her gaze on her brother.
"Stefan I'm leaving", she says and gets up. "I have an early meeting in the morning."
"The driver will drop you", he says.
"No need for that you know," she rolls her eyes playfully. "I'm an independent woman and I have my own car."
"Drive safe then", Stefan sighs.
"Bye Jess", she waves. "Bye little bear"
"Bye", I wave back with Liam just bouncing happily on my lap.
I give Liam a kiss and he just snuggles in my neck. I think he wants to sleep. I feel like sleeping as well. I keep rubbing his back gently when I feel Stefan's continous gaze on me.
"Do you want me to take you to your room?", he asks.
"Yes please"
Stefan helps me to get up and wrapping his arm around me, he starts leading me towards the stairs. I do feel a little bit lethargic at the moment. I place a sleeping Liam on the bed and lay beside him.
"Sleep for a while", he says and pulls the cover over us. "I'll wake you up when dinner is ready."
I give him a small nod and smile when he places a gentle kiss on my temple.
Two hours later, I open my eyes and check on Liam. He's still sleeping soundly. When I try to move, I realise he's literally glue to me with one of his little hand clutching my sweater over my right boob tightly. This action of his has become his habit whenever he is with me. I pry his fingers gently away and kiss his hand.
I look at his sleepy face for a long while. If Ana would have hurt him, I would have never been able to forgive myself. I can't believe myself that I let Ana touched him and to think I really thought she was willing to take Liam as a mother would.
"I'm so sorry Liam", I whisper. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. She doesn't deserves an angel like you."
This guilt and the thought of Liam getting hurt is weighing heavy on me. A part of me is still scared to look after him but another part does not want to let him go away from me.
Maybe I really should tell Stefan to appoint another nanny for Liam. He needs and deserves the best.
After a while I get up, wear my sandal and limp towards the stairs. Where's Stefan? The house is too quiet. I search for him in his room and study. When I don't find him in any of the room, I decide to climb downstairs. I grip the railings for support while I climb slowly down.
Once I'm down, I decide to check the kitchen first. He did mentioned about making dinner. I enter inside and look curiously at Stefan, who is apparently concentrating hard on pouring a batter of cupcakes in a baking tray.
I just stand there and admire him while he measures another cup of flour and other ingredients. Awww is he making cupcakes for me? Guess I'm going to fall more for him now.
"What are you doing?", I ask with a smile while I limp slowly towards him. He raises his head with his eyes a little bit wider.
"Jess!", he scolds me instantly. "You were not supposed to put pressure on your feet. Do you need anything? You should have called me!"
"Jeez. Relax", I say and walk more closer to look at his creations. "I'm okay now. Stop worrying so much."
"How can I not worry?", he presses adamantly. "You can't even walk properly. The doctor had said complete bed rest!"
"Stefan", I hold his arm. "I'm fine now and just because I have a little limp right now does not mean that I have to stay on the bed twenty four hours."
"But still..."
I don't give him enough time to continue his phrase because the next moment, I find myself wrapping my arms around him.
"Stop worrying so much", I murmur.
He wraps his own arms around me and sighs.
"So stubborn", he murmurs.
"Are you making cupcakes for me?", I ask and lifting my face, I lean my chin on his chest.
"Yes", he smiles and with his one hand, he brushes his fingers on my cheek while his other hand is still around me. "It was supposed to be a surprise for you but you came here early."
"Have you ever made them?"
"No but I saw you making them a few times and I checked on the internet as well", he explains.
"That's so sweet"
I smile when I see his cheeks turning red. The sight of him blushing is so adorable.
"Well why don't you take a seat while I continue", he says and without waiting for my answer, he lifts me up on the counter.
I watch as he continues measuring ingredients. It really looks like he knows what he is doing even though it's his first time baking. I'm still admiring him when I start hearing Liam's voice through the baby monitor. I'm about to hop from the counter but Stefan stops me.
"I'll get him."
He washes his hands quickly and giving me a quick kiss on my cheek, he walks out of the kitchen to get his son. I keep on smiling like a fool until he returns back with Liam.
"He's hungry", I say when I see him fidgeting in his father's arms.
"I already made his food", Stefan says and places him on his high chair but apparently Liam does not want to sit down. He starts crying loudly.
"It's okay buddy. Daddy already made your food. I'll feed you."
Liam keeps on crying and Stefan takes him again. I hop off the counter slowly despite getting a stern look from him. I can't just sit down while Liam is crying his heart out like this.
"Can I?", I extend my arms and Liam instantly throws himself on me.
"Wow", Stefan chuckles. "He doesn't waste a second."
"That's because he knows I'm the best", I add in a teasing voice while rubbing Liam's back.
"Hush baby, it's okay", I coo gently. "I'm right here."
He buries his face in the crooked of my neck and hiccups a few times. I look at Stefan and find him still staring at us with an affectionate gaze. I almost feel a warm feeling spreading on my face.
"I'll feed him", I blurt trying to avoid his probing gaze and start walking slowly towards one of the chairs.
"Take a seat. I'll bring his food."
I take a seat near Liam's high chair and try placing him in his seat again and this time, he sits down without any fuss. Stefan brings his bowl and gives him an accusing glare.
"That's not nice Liam", he says in a playful tone. "When daddy places you down on your seat, you keep on crying but when Jess is with you, you're the most calm and happy baby."
Liam starts laughing at his father while tapping his small hands on the seat's table. His sad face is long gone and in now replace with a mischievious look. He almost looks like he's mocking his father for getting my attention.
"You're lucky that you are cute", Stefan adds and gives him a kiss on his head.
I smile at scene enfolding before me. Liam is indeed becoming more mischievious day by day.
"Are you hungry?"
"Yes", I say. I don't what he has made for dinner but the delicious aroma wafting in the air is enough to make me hungry.
"Thank God", he smiles and returns to finish baking the goodies.
I start feeding Liam and he eats his meal like a good little boy while except making his famous car noises. I smile and wipe his mouth. All of this feel so domestic. Stefan is in the kitchen while I'm feeding Liam. Somehow from this incident, the three of us have grown to be more closer. Ana really wanted to create more problems for us but through these problems our bond has become more stronger.
So does that mean Stefan and I are together now? Like together together? As in a relationship? Or am I assuming things on my own? Has he really forgiven me completely for hurting Liam?
"Jess", I hear Stefan's voice breaking through my thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"You seem a little bit lost", he says, his brows creasing with concern. "I have been calling you. Are you okay?"
"Yes", I smile nervously. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I was just thinking about the dinner you made."
He looks at me, still not convince about my words. He opens his mouth to speak but Liam calls out to him.
"Da-da"
My eyes instantly veer on Liam with my mouth slightly open. There he is, with food all over his face while he's grinning at his father.
"Did he really said that?", Stefan asks with an emotional look on his face.
"Yes he did", I assure him with a smile.
"Da-da......da-da"
Stefan instantly lifts him in his arms and hugs him. He looks so happy.
"Liam say it again", he says and kisses his cheek
"Mamma", Liam blurts and claps his hands joyfully.
I try to control my smile when Stefan looks at me. There's a look of betrayal on his face.
"You keep hurting me Liam. You just love Jess now huh? You don't love me? Come on say dada again."
"Mamamama", Liam starts bouncing enthusiastically in his lap while clapping his hands on his father's face.
I snicker at the sight. Stefan is almost pouting at Liam. Both look so adorable. I can't believe that I actually have a chance with these two. Stefan keeps talking with Liam, while he walks further in the kitchen to get a napkin and wipes Liam's face. He has smeared his baby food all over himself and Stefan as well.
He places Liam back in his baby seat and suddenly bends towards me, with concern in his eyes.
"Are you okay? You're too quiet."
"I'm fine", I say. "Stop worrying for no reason. You got flour on your cheek"
Taking a napkin, I wipe his face gently. Liam lets another cry instantly.
"Come on Liam", Stefan frowns. Just to anger his son more, he kisses me on my cheek again and again while Liam lets out his frustrated cries.
"Stop Stefan", I scold him and take Liam in my arms. His face is already red.
"He's really trying to take you away from me", he murmurs.
"Stefan! He's a baby", I laugh at his puppy face.
"He's such a spoilsport"
After a few seconds, he smiles at us and strokes Liam's head, while he lays on my chest.
"I really like this", he states with a loving gaze. "I really like us this way."
"Me too", I say sincerely.
He's about to say something but at the same time, my stomach lets out a loud dying sound. I close my eyes in embarrassement.
"Let's eat", Stefan chuckles.
We have our dinner. Stefan has apparently made chicken curry which is so delicious and flavorful. Afterwards while we are sitting in the living room, Liam falls asleep and Stefan offers to take him into his nursery.
I sink further on the couch, thinking about the past few days. Everthing went from chaotic to calm. I really hope Stefan has really forgiven me even though I'm still having a hard time forgiving myself. What I did was so careless. I recall Liam's cries and feels a hard tug in my chest. He must had been so scared at that moment. How could I make him go through that?
"You look lost", Stefan says, startling me. "Again."
He takes a seat right next to me and gives me yet another worried look.
"I was just thinking......"
"About?", he probes. "Is everything alright? Is something bothering you?"
"I think you should really get another nanny", I say in a low voice.
"Jess", Stefan turns completely towards me. "I won't do that because I already told you that you are the best for my son and if this is about my words...."
"No", I interrupt him instantly. "It's not about that. It's about what I did. I can't forgive myself for hurting Liam and a part of me is still so scared to look after him. I messed up badly Stefan. I really didn't mean any harm for Liam. I just thought maybe Ana was trying to get close to Liam because she was genuinely trying to get close to him as his mother. I guess I was looking for something positive where there was none to begin with."
I do not realize that tears are streaming down my face until Stefan wipes them away gently and holds my face in his palms.
"Stop blaming yourself", he claims, urging me to look at him. "I understand that you thought maybe Ana was trying for Liam but she can never change Jess. All that matter for her is only money."
"I'm sorry"
"Don't", he adds. "I was too harsh on you when you didn't even think twice about your own life while getting Liam away from her."
"Still I had no right to take him without the bodyguards", I press. "You had appoint them for Liam's safety and I was so dumb...."
"Hey", Stefan puts his thumb over my lips, blocking my words. "It's okay. I knew the bodyguards made you feel uncomfortable. Let's just forget about all this okay? All that matters to me is that you and Liam are completely safe and infront of my eyes."
"So you have forgiven me?", I ask, placing my hands over his.
"I was not angry with you. I was just disappointed because I trusted you the most when it comes to Liam", he admits with a sigh.
"This is much worst", I whisper painfully and try to bend my head in shame.
"Here me out first", he says softly and lifts my head to look at him. "I'm going to be honest with you. I felt that you let me down knowing what I told you about Ana. But when I put myself in your place, I totally understand you. You believed her because you wanted Liam to know his mother. You believed that everyone deserves a second chance. And you did the best you could to get him away from her when he was in danger."
I'm about to interrupt him but he continues firmly.
"Don't you dare say that you had no right over him because I know how much that little guy loves you and you him. Both of you have a strong connection and I won't deny it. I know that I already said it but I will keep saying it. You are the best for Liam."
I never have been so emotional as much I am being right now. At this point I feel like I really need to blow my nose with all the crying. I just bury my face in his chest and cry like a little child.
"I'm so sorry", he keeps repeating while caressing my hair. "I know you're hurting mostly because of what I said. God knows how much I regret saying them."
"It's okay", I console him. "I understand why you said them. No one would want any harm for their baby."
"I'm so sorry", he murmurs again in my hair and lean his head against mine.
We stay in each other embrace for a long moment until he speaks again.
"Jess I'm really sorry", his hand is over my injured arm, with his thumb stroking the bandage.
"For what?", I look at him in confusion.
"The other day your arm was already injured and without thinking I pulled you roughly....."
"It's okay. I didn't even feel anything. I was just in a shocked state."
I do remember his reaction when he had noticed my blood on his hand.
"Damn now when I think about it I have been such a huge asshole to you on numerous times", he admits with an apologetic look.
"Yes you were", I confirm and add, "But I was no saint either. I kept misunderstanding you every time."
"And I let you believe them", he says. "It's still my fault. I just kept messing everything up. And that night in the kitchen, I kissed you though you kept saying no. Shit! Saying that out loud makes me feel such a douchebag."
"But I slapped you for it tho", I remind him, repressing a smile.
"You did"
"I'm sorry for the slap", I apologize and hug him tightly.
"I deserved it, besides I already learned my lesson."
I look at him waiting for him to continue which he does.
"I should always think before speaking and when anger takes control I should just shut up."
I sigh and just stay give his hand a little squeeze.
"Jess those flowers the other day were for you."
"I know", I say and lift my head. "I saw the note."
"There's nothing going on between Cara and I", he starts explaining. "She was just too drunk at the party and I didn't want to humiliate her infront of evrybody. I didn't told you anything the night I was back because I thought it was nothing serious but guess I was totally wrong. The day I bought roses for you, I even came to pick you up from uni."
"I didn't saw you", I utter, with my ears perking in curiosity. I didn't know he came there.
"Well I left before you saw me"
"Why?"
"I just saw a guy giving you flowers and you were hugging him and I didn't liked it", he confesses. "So I just left and when we arrived home, Cara just brought them inside because I had forgotten about it. I didn't give it to her."
"So you were jealous?"
"Yes", he frowns a little bit.
"He was just a friend", I clarify and lean against him again. "He wanted to go on a date with me but I decline. There's really nothing going on."
"I'm glad", he blurts happily and wraps his arms more securely around me.
"I'm really sorry for everything", he murmurs once again.
"It's okay", I lean forward and place a kiss on his lips.
"I'll forgive you on only one condition though", I say seriously.
"What?", he looks concern. I suppress my smile.
"The cookies and cupcakes must be up to my expectations."
"You will be so impress that you might never leave me", he claims in a low voice.
Do check my other story, "Coffee af first Sight" ;)
See you all laters 🖤