Chaeyoung
The next day, I still went to University. It's not like I'm doing this because I enjoyed being in the University.
I'm doing this because I have to.
I slept at Dahyun's place last night. Sana didn't come back yesterday and she's really weird.
"Hey. You looked sadder."
I didn't bother to look at the one who talked. I can recognize her by just hearing the voice.
"So, you already told her?"
She asked again when I didn't answer her.
I'm not really in the mood to talk.
"I thought we're already okay when you talked to me last time."
She said again. I closed my eyes and roamed my eyes around the Library.
No Mina.
"I saw her a while ago. She went out when you came in."
The Librarian said. I think she noticed that I'm looking for Mina.
It's not like I'll approach her.
I just want to see her.
"She hated you?"
"But you explained right?"
"Really?"
I just let her talk. I didn't answer any of her questions.
"You're giving----"
She stopped when I looked at her.
"Okay. I forgot, I need to go to the Cafeteria. Bye!"
She said and walked out of the Library.
I don't know if she's trying to comfort me or she's trying to test my patience.
"Hey."
Somi went in and greeted me. She has dark circles around her eyes.
"Yo."
I greeted back and handed her the log book.
She's returning some books.
"How's Mina?"
I asked hesitantly after she signed the log.
"She'll be fine. But really, I wanted to scold her last night."
Somi said. She really stayed by her side. I'm glad.
"Why? Something wrong?"
I asked but Somi said I don't need to know.
I wanted to.
"Did something happen to her?? Tell me.."
I asked again. Somi sighed.
"You don't need to know, Chaeyoung."
She firmly said.
"I want to know."
I insisted. She looked at me and took a deep breath.
"She called Jeongyeon! She said she's afraid that's why she called her!"
Somi yelled. I can see the rage in her eyes again.
The students in the Library looked at us. Somi walked out.
She let Jeongyeon see her, but she don't want to see me again.
Jeongyeon hurt her too, but why does she still keep on calling her?
Ah, right.
She loves Jeongyeon.
The big difference.
Does the Librarian know about it? Did Jeongyeon go to Mina last night?
Too many questions but I don't want any answers.
Because sometimes, even if we already know the answers, we will still get hurt.
Even if we already expected the pain,
It will still hurt when you're already in that situation.
**
"Hey Tzuyu."
I greeted Tzuyu when I arrived at the condo.
She's looking at me.
"Chaeyoung."
She called when I sat down on the sofa.
"Where were you last night?"
She asked and approached me. I smiled at her.
"Friends place."
I answered. I looked at her and she looked so exhausted.
She has a lot of projects, I think..
"You're still not gonna tell me what's wrong?"
Tzuyu uttered after a long silence. She held my hand.
"I want to ask God why does Mina have to jump off of that car to save me.
I wanted to ask Him why am I suffering right now..
Even though I know that He has a reason, I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact that I'm in this situation right now."
I paused and looked at Tzuyu.
"Everyday, the moment I open my eyes, I'll be reminded by the fact that it's my fault why Mina is suffering right now.
Why she can't pursue her dreams.
Why she can't be completely happy.
Why does she need to forget all those precious memories she had with her loved ones.
It's a torture for me, Tzu..
But I can't even blame anyone because it was my fault.. "
I continued. Tzuyu lifted her hands to wipe something off my face.
I touched my face.
I can cry now?
I didn't even know I'm already crying..
"It hurts but I don't even know if I have the right to complain."
I said and smiled at Tzuyu.
"Chaeyoung, I'm sorry."
I heard Tzuyu uttered. I chuckled and patted her shoulder.
I wanted to thank her for letting me speak.
"No.. No.. Thank---"
I was cut off when Tzuyu spoke.
"I'm sorry because I was the main reason why you're suffering… W-why… Mina is suffering…."
It felt like the time froze. I can't utter any single word.
All I did was look at her.
Processing the words she just dropped.
What does she mean..
"Chaeyoung, I'm sorry.."
Tzuyu uttered again but I can't react.
A lot of questions started forming inside my mind.
But I'm afraid..
That I'll lose her too.
If she explained what she meant.