"I'm telling you, Moony, we have to tell Harry sooner or later." Sirius shouted angrily but Remus sat calmly at the kitchen table. "He has a right to know. We cannot hide who his godmother really is from him forever!" He was fuming.
Remus rubbed his temples exhaustively. "Look, Padfoot. I agree with you that Harry deserves to know the truth but given the time and situation, I don't believe that it will be wise to divulge everything to him just yet."
"And what would be the right time to reveal everything in your wise judgement?" Snarled Sirius.
"After Diana gets caught." Remus said grimly. "We will tell him everything. From beginning to end but now is not the right time. I'm scared if we reveal everything to Harry, he might become blinded by rage and go after Diana."
Sirius opened his mouth to retort back but thought again and became silent. It disgusted him to call that murderer's name. He hated that Remus might be right; knowing Harry he would definitely go looking for his parent's murderer on his own once he knew everything.
Remus noticed how Sirius looked away and his gaze became distant. He was very well aware of how much saying that name pained him but Remus wanted his best friend to forget the past- forget their past.
They were sitting at the kitchen of the Grimmauld Place, Sirius's residence. The house elf Kreacher served them food while mumbling something to himself- they didn't pay attention to him.
"Do you think we should tell Dumbledore?" Remus suddenly asked tensely.
Sirius looked at him.
"You know, that Diana being an ani--" Remus stopped when he saw his best friend closing his eyes and taking a sharp breath.
"We don't need to." Sirius opened his dark grey eyes and looked straight into Remus's eyes. "I know, Moony, that you still in a way blame yourself for that but it was our choice. You had no say in that whatsoever, so shut up now!"
Remus sighed. He was expecting Sirius to say something like that.
"You know, you should move on, Padfoot."
"What did you say?"
"I said, you should move on now." Remus said again. "What she did is unforgivable but you think of her all the time, as if you're practically living--"
"I. Do. Not. Think. Of. That. Filthy. Murderer." Sirius gritted out, his voice was dangerously low and his glaring eyes pinned on Remus.
"The fact that even the slightest mention of her name makes you burst out in anger proves everything I've just said." Remus said calmly ignoring his dark haired friend's cold glare. "You have to forget everything you've shared once- feelings, memories, everything. You cannot live on by feeding on your hatred for her--"
"After everything she did, you're telling me to forget?!" Sirius's voice was getting louder and angrier. "She betrayed us, Remus! She betrayed Lily, she betrayed James! She killed Peter!... She betrayed me!! And now you're telling me to forget?! Tell me, is it even possible for me or for anyone to forget? I'm telling you, if I ever find her, I would kill her with my own hands rather than handing her to the dementors!"
"Exactly what I'm talking about." Said Remus. "Since that day, you're living on by feeding on that desire for revenge of yours, as if you're only alive just because of your hatred. And why would I tell you to forgive her?! She doesn't deserve that but you've got Harry now. You're the only family he has left. If you go on doing something stupid blinded by your rage, Harry--"
"Going after that woman to kill her is not stupid, if anything that's the right thing to do." Sirius's voice was calm.
"No, it's not!" Now Remus raised his voice. "You cannot do that-- wait, did you-- is-- is that why you told Harry that you were out of town?" He asked skeptically.
Sirius remained silent.
Remus burst out in sheer anger. "Have you finally gone mad, Sirius?! It has become an obsession for you, hasn't it? She's dangerous. You've got to move on or else--"
"Or else what?!" Sirius bellowed slamming both of his hands on the wooden table making the spoons and plates rattle. "She's the reason James and Lily are dead, Remus! She's the reason Harry is parentless! She's the reason Peter is dead! I cannot just move on from that. I was a naive, pathetic fool for falling for her tricks! I let her become the secret keeper instead of me because I TRUSTED HER!! I TRUSTED HER WITH MY LIFE! I TRUSTED HER MORE THAN I TRUSTED MYSELF!!"
Sirius was panting now. Even though his friends considered him pretty short tempered, it had been a while since he lost control like this. He was taking deep breaths, leaning on the table.
Remus looked at his friend with half shock and half pity. Sirius had been blaming himself too all these time and he had no idea. He suddenly felt like a terrible friend.
"Sirius, it's not your fault." Remus said softly.
"Yes, yes it's my fault. It was my fault to trust her." Sirius said, suddenly his voice dropped. "And that's why if I find out where she's been hiding, I will kill her personally. That's the thing I've decided."
There was so much venom in his voice that Remus visibly flinched.
"This is the one and only time I'm going to say this to you." Remus said calmly but his voice suddenly turned icy. "If you go out of your way and endanger Harry or yourself just to find her, I'm going to tell Dumbledore. Maybe he could talk some sense into you."
"You wouldn't dare!" Sirius jumped up on his feet, glaring at Remus.
"Yes, I will. Without any hesitation." Remus stood up from his chair and strode out of the room as Sirius glared at his departure.
_
That was the reason Remus and Sirius were not on speaking terms and things between them didn't improve much after that fight.
On the day of another Hogsmeade trip, Remus got called into Snape's office, demanding to know what the Marauder's map was and how it worked. Luckily both Harry and Remus narrowly escaped Snape's accusations. However, Remus wasted no time in confiscating the map from Harry knowing that the bespectacled boy would use it to snuck out of Hogwarts to go to Hogsmeade, if he didn't do it already.
Harry said that he didn't use it to get out of the castle even once, but Remus had the impression that Harry had already done it more than once.
Harry didn't seem to want to talk to him much and Remus asked if everything was alright. Harry just stiffly said he had something to talk about with both him and Sirius. As Remus realized that the full moon was this week, he said that they can talk next week as he wasn't feeling very well.
He never told Harry about his lycanthropy and he wasn't planning to very soon either.
So, he was in his room preparing for his next class (Hinkypunks) for the students and after he finished his preparations, he picked up the old map lazily as he wasn't feeling sleepy yet. It happened sometimes, when he drank too much tea.
He looked at the map of the castle, he could see Filch's name making rounds around the corridors every now and then and the other teacher's were all in their rooms.
As his eyes roamed around, suddenly he froze seeing a particular name on the map walking in the Gryffindor tower.
Peter Pettigrew
'What?! No, this can't be! Peter is dead. The map never lies but it's not possible!' His mind was racing so fast that he felt numb. He sat on his chair stunned, eyes glued to the map as he saw Peter's name suddenly got out of the castle and disappear.
"How can Peter be alive?" He mumbled.
_
The next full moon was coming and Remus had a million thoughts racing through his head twenty four hours. He still couldn't figure out the mystery behind seeing Peter's name on the map, yet every night he saw his name walk around the castle. He tried to go to those places but he never saw anyone.
He took his Wolfsbane potion but he was still feeling a bit dodgy so not wanting to cause any potential trouble in the castle he got out on the night of the full moon and went to the Shrieking Shack with some spare clothes.
At night he became a full fledged werewolf and lost his mind completely.
He woke up the next day naked and in a very weak body, inside a room of the shrieking Shack. His whole body was scratched by his own wolf nails and his ripped clothes were scattered on the floor. He felt so exhausted and drained that he didn't even have the energy to raise his arm. He laid there for some time staring at the ceiling, his mind vaguely thinking about what a damn cursed life he had.
He slowly pulled himself together and went towards the place where he kept his cardboard box of spare clothes. As he walked towards the box dragging his feet, he stopped dead, seeing some unfamiliar things beside the box.
There was a flask beside his box and a folded piece of parchment. He didn't remember seeing anything like that here last night.
Instead of putting his clothes on, he picked up the flask suspiciously. He was shocked when he felt that it was still hot. His mother was a muggle so he recognized easily that it was a muggle flask- whatever they called it. While trying to think who could leave a muggle flask in here, he froze when the revelation hit him once again.
If anyone had come in here, they must have seen him. Did they come in while he was a werewolf? Or did they come in when he transformed back into a human and sprawled naked on the floor, asleep? None of the options seemed very pleasing to him as he looked around the place for any signs of blood or anything.
None. There was nothing.
Frowning, he slowly opened the flask skeptically and as soon as he opened it, a wave of hot, scented air hit his nostrils. It was chamomile tea. Someone had left tea for him...
Confused beyond his wits, he picked up the folded note from the floor. He put on his clothes quickly then sat on the nearest chair with the parchment in his hand.
He unfolded the note and there were some hastily scribbled words on the piece of paper. No sooner had he read the letter, his already sore head started buzzing. His already pale face ashened and his ears started ringing.
'Peter is alive.
I need to talk to you, as soon as possible. If you agree, come out here next week the same day as today, 10 pm.
I know you're the only one who'd listen to me, Remus.'
There was no name signed under the small letter but the neat, cursive handwriting was way too familiar for Remus to not to recognize, even though he deeply wished he hadn't.
It was from Diana Lynstorm.
_
Word count - 1895
A/N: it's nearly 5 am in the morning and I don't have any energy left to write an author's note. And I found the picture on google. the credit goes to the rightful owner and let me know if anyone happens to know them.
There shouldn't be much errors but let me know if you find any.
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