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"Is he here?" Rachel whispered as she stood by the door of Chandler and Joey's apartment.
Chandler shook his head and let her in. "No."
"Hi!" Rachel greeted as she joined the rest of the friends in the living room.
"Hey!"
"You guys are gonna love me!" She sang as she clapped excitedly, "Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me."
The friends looked away from her awkwardly as they tried to think of a way to let her down gently. Well, all except Veronica.
"Oh, my God!" She squealed and threw her arms around Rachel excitedly.
Rachel frowned and looked at Veronica with furrowed brows. "Okay, I said that out loud right?"
"Yes, yes," Chandler nodded sheepishly. "It's just that we kinda already made plans with Ross."
Rachel's face fell. "Oh, well okay. Well, there you go."
"No, it's just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out," Phoebe explained with a shrug as she gave Rachel a sad smile.
Rachel pursed her lips and nodded stiffly. "Hm-mm."
"Yeah, he's really excited about it too, he even recorded showtimes on his answering machine."
"We're sorry honey," Monica frowned and rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.
"I'm not," Veronica scoffed and smiled warmly at her best friend, "I'm coming with you!"
"Ronnie!" Monica snapped and glared at her with a raised brow.
"What?" She huffed and shrugged, "It's not fair to leave her all on her own and you guys are all going to be with Ross. I think the dinosaur baby will be fine if I don't show up."
"Oh, it's okay," Rachel reassured her and shook her head, "You go with them."
"Nope. this Thursday night it's just you and me," Veronica promised her warmly.
Rachel nodded with a thankful smile as Veronica wrapped an arm around her.
"Rach, it's not that we don't want to, really," Joey promised her before he whispered, "Are we talking models in their underwear?"
She nodded. "And heels."
Joey's eyes widened and he turned to the friends desperately. They gave him pointed glares and he sighed reluctantly. "Ross did ask us first, and we set that night aside."
"No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, that's only fair," She shrugged and smiled tightly.
With that, she turned on her heel and walked out of the apartment.
"Oh boy, do I feel bad," Phoebe sighed once the door closed.
Joey nodded sadly. "Oh yeah."
"Chandler what are you doing?!" Phoebe gasped when she heard the sound of a lighter.
"Chandler!" Monica yelled when they saw him smoking a cigarette.
He paused and looked down at the cigarette in fake shock. "Oh my God!"
"So we're smoking in front of them?" Veronica asked before she lit her own cigarette.
"Ronnie!" Joey huffed as he stared at her in shock, "You two are smoking again?!"
"Well, actually, yesterday we were smoking again. Today we're smoking still!" Chandler joked.
The two had quickly gotten back into smoking after Ross and Rachel's near-constant fighting post-breakup. Chandler had lit a cigarette one night after he and Veronica finished having sex and she needed little to no prompting to join him.
"Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum?" Phoebe whined disappointedly.
"Look, I'm telling you this is just like my parent's divorce, which is when I started smoking in the first place."
Monica's eyes widened. "Weren't you nine?!"
"Yeah," He nodded nonchalantly, "I'm tellin' ya something, that ah, first smoke after nap time..."
Before they could continue discussing their smoking any further they were cut off by a knock on the door.
"Oh that's great, with my luck, that's gonna be him," Chandler huffed as he went to the door.
"Him? Him, Ross?" Phoebe asked.
"Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow!" He scoffed before he paused, "When my parents got divorced is when I started using humor as a defense mechanism."
"Hi!" Rachel grinned as she rejoined them, "Uh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? I'm asking you first, right?! I mean I'm playing by the rules," She rolled her eyes.
The friends all nodded excitedly. "Absolutely, yeah!"
Rachel's eyes widened. "Ronnie! Chandler! You're smoking? What are you doing?!"
Chandler froze and glared at her. "Hey, shut up! You're not my real Mom!"
"Awe, sweetie," Veronica cooed and wrapped her arm around him.
Chandler nuzzled his face into her hair and Joey watched the two with a glare.
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Veronica had been forced to join the rest of the friends at Ross' apartment Thursday night. The friends had spent days convincing her to come and just leave early to meet up with Rachel for the Calvin Klein show. She'd only agreed when Chandler had brought it up one night when she was too tired to argue.
"Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!" Joey complained as he shivered.
Chandler and Veronica were forced to sit by the window to smoke. There was only one chair so she had to sit on his lap with her arm wrapped around him as they smoked. Joey had been trying to get them to stop for the last half hour because of how jealous he was getting.
They'd been giggling and whispering to each other the entire time they were smoking together.
"Wait. Really?!" Phoebe gasped, "'Cause mine get me out of tickets."
"And mine get me dates!" Veronica chuckled.
"Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. It's been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks," Ross smiled warmly.
"Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window," Chandler shrugged.
"Oh hey, how about this weekend we have a laserdisc marathon okay, and maybe a tournament on my new dartboard?" Ross suggested excitedly, "Huh, huh, what do you think? Two days of darts," He did an Irish accent, "It'll be great!"
Joey nodded with a smile. "It'll be great for next weekend."
"No, no, no, this weekend guys!" Ross corrected as he looked at the friends.
It'll be great for next weekend," Joey repeated before he did an Irish accent too, "I mean, it'll be great."
Ross' brows furrowed. "What's going on?"
"Well, we were invited to go skiing, y'know Rachel's sister's cabin," Phoebe explained quietly.
"So, for the whole weekend?" He frowned.
Veronica rolled her eyes and just as she went to make a scathing comment, Chandler cut her off. He covered her mouth with his hand and gave her a pointed look.
Monica nodded and shrugged. "We're really sorry, but um, she did ask us first."
"Yeah, that's okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend I'm alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand," Ross grumbled out, obviously going for a subtle guilt trip.
Veronica was having none of it. And not even Chandler could stop her now.
"Are you seriously trying to guilt-trip us right now?" She scoffed as she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Veronica," Chandler warned as he gave her a pleading look.
"No, don't Veronica me! Rachel didn't try and play the victim card when we told her we were hanging out with Ross," She scowled at Ross, "So we can't leave your royal ass alone for the weekend because you're going to be all alone? Boohoo. What, do you think you're more important than Rachel? You remember that you were the one who cheated on her right?"
"We were on a break!" Ross repeated heatedly.
"And weren't you on a break when Rachel supposedly slept with Mark?" She countered as she raised a brow, "Oh, oh, but I forgot. It's only okay when you're the one sleeping with someone else, right? Because poor Ross is always the victim."
Ross stared at her in shock as he tried to figure out what to say to her. The rest of the friends stared between the two in stunned silence.
Phoebe cleared her throat, trying to diffuse the tension. "Y'know what, I can stay. I'm gonna stay. 'Cause the last time I went skiing I was too afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went round and round."
Veronica rolled her eyes and went to argue before Chandler came up behind her and wrapped an arm around her. He kissed the top of her head comfortingly and begged her to let it go before she sent Ross into a spiral of exaggerated tears and wailing.
"Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmother's cab," Joey reminded her sheepishly, "But y'know what, I'll stay."
"No!" Monica shook her head and smiled at Ross warmly, "I'll stay. He's my brother."
"Poor you," Veronica mumbled under her breath.
"What a pity stay?" Ross scoffed as he looked between them in disdain.
"Hey, don't bite the hand that feeds you," Veronica snapped, "You were the one that was too much of a baby to be alone this weekend."
"No!" Monica clapped her hands trying to stop a fight from brewing between the two, "We're gonna have fun. We can make fudge!"
"Pity food?" Ross scoffed as he narrowed his eyes.
The friends turned to Veronica with pleading looks, hoping she would offer to stay with him to make him feel better.
"No," She laughed as she shook her head, "I'm not feeding into this 'make Ross feel better when he doesn't deserve it' bullshit."
"Y'know what that's okay, all right, I don't need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays," He huffed.
"Well, then, I might as well offer to stay," Chandler shrugged.
With that, Veronica grabbed her purse and strutted out of the apartment to join Rachel.
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The friends, minus Ross, were sitting at a booth at the Double-R diner waiting for Veronica's shift to be over so they could head up to the cabin. They were watching in stunned silence as Veronica ignored customers, poked jokes at her boss Han, and just flat out ignored her job.
"Evening ladies, gals night out? Chasing guys, eating pie, having fun," Veronica joked as she walked over to the booth of 4 elderly ladies.
"This table is sticky, run a damn rag across it," One of them complained loudly.
"Would it kill you to clean a little?" Her friend scoffed, "What kind of place is this?"
"The kind that serves soup cold," Another one snapped with pursed lips.
"And what's with your crazy earrings?" The fourth one stared at Veronica's dangle earrings in disdain, "What are you, some kind of gypsy?"
"Okay, whoa, hold up ladies. You don't get a bitch pass just because you're old," Veronica snapped and smiled at their shocked looks, "Yes, that's right I said it. You come in here with your gangster granny attitude and think you can get away with dumping all over the lowly gypsy waitress? No way."
"Oh my God," Monica gaped at the scene unfolding in front of them.
"Should we do something?" Rachel asked with wide eyes, "Because I know Veronica and there is a lot more coming."
"No, no," Phoebe brushed them off, her eyes trained on the scene, "I want to see what happens next."
The friends paused before they all nodded in agreement and turned their attention back to Veronica.
"At this diner, we don't discriminate due to age, if you're going to act like an ass, I'm going to treat you like an ass. No matter how close that ass is riding to the floor. Now, I'll wipe off the table and we'll take it from the top," She gave them a sickly sweet smile, Hi, I'm Veronica. Who wants tapioca?"
The four ladies started at her in shock and fear before they slowly raised their hands up.
"That's more like it, save the disappointment for the grandkids," She gave them a sickly sweet smile before she turned on her heel and walked away, "Oleg, four tapiocas for table three! Don't keep them waiting too long, this might be their last meal."
"I don't know what I'd do in this dump without you Veronica," Earl laughed fondly before he paused, "Well, I'd probably be high a lot more than I already am."
"Earl," Veronica gasped in fake shock as she laughed, "You're getting baked without me?"
"So is this how you usually waitress?" Chandler asked when she finally joined them.
"More or less," She nodded.
"How do you still have a job?!" He huffed in exasperation.
She shrugged carelessly. "Anyway, let's get going. I'm bored."
"You're in the middle of waiting tables," Monica reminded her slowly.
Veronica rolled her eyes and was about to force them out of the booth for a quick getaway when she noticed Han leaving his office. She breathed out loudly in annoyance at the detour.
"Looks like we'll have to come up with an excuse now," She sighed
"Ugh, give me your hand, bend over, and pretend to be sick. It'll work. I've used this to get out of eight jobs, six final exams, and one wedding. Han, we have an emergency. Monica's sick. She's so sick, she can't even stand up. We won't be able to stay and finish our shift. We have to go right to the emergency room. We don't know what's wrong with her, but it's coming out of both ends. It might be syphilis! Bye!"
With that, she rushed Monica to the door with the rest of the friends trailing after them.
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"Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?" Joey whispered with a frown.
Rachel and Monica were sitting in the front with Phoebe while the boys sat in the back with Veronica.
"Why? Do you think he's still mad at you guys?" Veronica asked as she cuddled into Chandler.
Joey frowned as he watched the two, usually she'd be cuddled up into his side instead. He shook his head and raised a brow. "What do you mean you guys? He's probably mad at you too."
"Yeah but the difference is I don't care," She pointed out with a smile.
"Well he's probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles," Chandler huffed as he gave Joey a pointed look.
"What?" He shrugged, "Mine aren't tinted."
Chandler rolled his eyes and pulled out two cigarettes, handing one to Veronica.
"Chandler!" Phoebe snapped as she saw the two in the rearview mirror.
"What?"
"What does the sign say?"
His brows furrowed as he looked at the sticker. "Beam me up Jesus."
"No, the 'No Smoking' sign," Phoebe sighed, "There's no smoking in my Grandmother's cab."
He paused and nodded. "Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom."
"Oh!" The friends, minus Veronica, of course, groaned in disbelief.
"Please!" Phoebe scoffed.
"No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas," Monica huffed decidedly.
"Oh, come on, there's a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to go," Chandler whined, knowing if he said it long enough Joey would break.
"Oh, now I have to go!" Joey complained with a pout.
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"Damn!" Chandler huffed, "The tailpipe's not hot enough to light this!"
After they reached the rest stop, Rachel had accidentally locked the friends out of the taxi much to Chandler and Veronica's chagrin. The whole point of stopping had been for them to smoke but their lighters were inside the locked taxi.
"Relax okay, I can get this open," Joey reassured them, "Anybody have a coat hanger?"
Chandler stared at him dryly. "Oh, I do! Oh, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning."
"So, if your parents hadn't got divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?" Monica raised a brow with pursed lips.
"Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra!" Joey suggested as he looked between the four girls.
"What?!" They scoffed, their eyes wide in shock.
"Come on!" Joey rolled his eyes and shrugged, "Who has the biggest boobs? Whoever has the biggest boobs, has the biggest bra, therefore has the biggest wire."
"No, not getting my bra!" The girls shook their heads and crossed their arms decidedly.
"If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire," Joey reminded and shrugged, "Your call."
"Okay, Monica's are the biggest," Phoebe pointed out.
"These tiny, little non-breasts?!" Monica laughed, "Please, it's gotta be Rachel."
"What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I actually sometimes, stuff my bra."
"All right then, your bra would still be big," Monica pointed out.
"...no, I stuff outside the bra," Rachel excused with a grimace, "Anyway, Veronica has the biggest boobs!"
Veronica gave them a blank look. "You are not taking my bra away from me. I'm too broke to buy another one! Anyway, Phoebe's have to be bigger than mine!"
"Ladies, ladies, let's just compromise okay?" Chandler called calmly, "Phoebe, Rachel take off Monica's bra."
"What about Veronica?" Phoebe asked, not thinking about his initial request.
"Oh," He nodded and shrugged, "I'll take it off."
Veronica hit his shoulder and gave him a discreet smile.
"All right, forget it, nevermind," Phoebe rolled her eyes, "You can have mine."
"Thank you, Phoebe, that is very, very generous," Joey smiled as she handed him the wire.
"Okay, now let's decide who has the nicest ass," Chandler joked, "My bet's on Veronica."
Before the girls could say anything they heard the taxi door open.
"And there you go!" Joey cheered as the rest of the friends rushed to the taxi.
"Chandler!" Monica huffed when he got into the car and immediately lit a cigarette.
"At least let me smoke it to the good part," He begged as he rolled the window down.
"Oh, no!" Phoebe frowned when the car sputtered and came to a halt.
"What, what's it, what's going on?" Rachel asked worriedly.
Phoebe shrugged. "Yeah, this has happened before."
"So you know how to fix it?"
"Yep," She nodded, "Put more gas in."
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The friends had tried getting Triple A to pick them up but since they didn't know what route they were on Triple A couldn't help them. They'd tried convincing Rachel to let them call Ross for help but she'd refused, going so far as to suggest just living at the rest stop from now on.
"Oh, good," Phoebe called, "Joey and Chandler are back.
"So the going for help went well?" Monica asked dryly when they saw Joey dragging Chandler.
"Oh yeah, Smokey Joe here got halfway to the highway and collapsed," Joey rolled his eyes as he helped Chandler stand upright.
"I have the lung capacity of a two-year-old," Chandler admitted sadly.
"Then why are you smoking?" Monica huffed as she stared at him in shock.
"Well it's very unsettling," He shrugged as he lit his cigarette.
While Rachel tried to get Chandler to stop smoking, Phoebe and Monica raced to call Ross on the payphone. Veronica slipped away, lit a cigarette of her own, and joined the two.
"Ross, thank God," Phoebe sighed in relief when he answered the phone.
Monica's eyes widened when she saw Rachel walking over to them. "Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Let's stock up."
As Monica dragged her to the bathroom, Veronica pressed up against Phoebe so that she could hear Ross as well.
"Pheebs? What, why are you whispering?"
She paused as she tried to think of a lie. "I ate a bug. Listen, Ross, we ran out of gas, and we don't know where we are, so we can't get a tow truck."
"Oh, now you want a favor?" Ross' smugness could be heard over the phone.
"Yes, please," Phoebe begged helplessly.
"Well, oh, I'm sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but I'm a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?" Ross laughed condescendingly.
Veronica pursed her lips in annoyance and ripped the phone from Phoebe's hand. "Listen you overgrown baby," She growled, "Get your head out of your ass, stop bitching, and tone down the attitude. You don't have any friends other than us but that's not surprising."
"...I-I have other friends," Ross defended weakly, "I mean there's uh, um-"
"We don't have time for you to imagine friends! Stop being an ass, Rachel's our friend just like you are and we're allowed to hang out with her too. We're not bad friends because you decided to get butthurt about spending a weekend alone."
"I was not butthurt," He scoffed.
"You kind were," Phoebe voiced her opinion finally.
They heard shuffling on the phone before Carol promised them that Ross was on his way.
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"Okay, done," Joey grinned as he stood up and looked down at his sign proudly.
Veronica was tucked into Chandler's side as he rubbed her arms to keep her warm. She had never done too well in the cold.
Monica's brows furrowed. "What's 'pleh'?"
"That's 'help' spelled backward so that the helicopters can read it from the air!"
"Huh," She pursed her lips, "What's doofus spelled backward?"
"Oh, oh, car! Car!" Rachel grinned before she noticed who was in the car, "Ugh!"
"Oh, it's Ross on one of his drives!" Phoebe called excitedly as she tried to diffuse the tension.
"What is he doing here?!" Rachel bit out as she glared at the friends.
"He is saving your butt," Ross snapped, "Unless of course, I'm stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, I've got plenty of people to help on the Interstate."
"No! Come on!" The friends, minus Rachel, begged.
Rachel frowned and rolled her eyes. "All right! Fine! Fine."
"No!" Joey cried when Ross walked across his sign and destroyed it.
"Oh no, now it's not gonna make any sense!" Chandler huffed sarcastically.
Joey rolled his eyes. "How's Veronica doing?"
Veronica was bundled up in Joey's scarf and gloves as well which he'd insisted she wear. She was too cold to even speak, Joey's scarf covering half her face anyway.
"She's not an ice cube yet," Chandler frowned as he looked down at her worriedly.
Joey frowned and held his arms out to her but she didn't make a move towards her.
"I think she's frozen into my side," Chandler joked as Joey nodded with a sad look.
"You guys, what do we do about Ross? He drove all the way up here. What do we do? Just like send him back and we're then gonna go skiing?" Phoebe whispered anxiously.
"Do you think we should ask Ross to come along?" Joey asked quietly.
"What about Rachel? I mean how are we even gonna ask her?" Monica frowned.
"Ask me what?" Rachel asked as she joined their huddle.
Monica paused and gulped nervously. "Um, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?"
The rest of the friends quickly shook their heads. "No, I wasn't gonna ask you that, no."
"You guys are unbelievable," She scoffed, "No! He cannot come."
Ross looked up from the taxi's gas tank and huffed. "Excuse me? Oh please, can't I come to your special, magical cabin?"
"Why would you even want to come Ross?" She rolled her eyes, "You're a horrible skier."
Ross held his heart in mock hurt, "Oh, hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills!"
Monica rolled her eyes. "Here we go again."
"I-I can't handle this, you guys," Joey huffed helplessly as he walked away.
"Y'know what, I can handle it, handle's my middle name. Actually, it's the middle part of my first name," Chandler laughed, his voice strained.
"All right Pheebs, your cab's ready," Ross called as he stepped away from the car.
"All right, let's go!" Phoebe cheered and rushed to the car.
"C'mon," Chandler quickly led Veronica into the car and turned the heat up before rejoining the friends outside.
"You're welcome," Ross grumbled as Rachel passed him.
"Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?"
"We were on a break!" He huffed.
"Y'know Ross why don't you put that on your answering machine!" Rachel scowled at him.
"Hey, it's valid okay? And I'm not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me."
Rachel's eyes widened and her gaze snapped to her. "What?!"
Monica froze and shrugged awkwardly. "...I don't know."
"That's what you said last night," Ross huffed as he threw his hands up defensively.
"What I said was that I understood," She corrected, "Joey's the one who agreed with you!"
"Really Joey?" Rachel raised a brow as she frowned.
Joey gulped nervously before deciding to play dumb. "...What?"
"Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here," Phoebe smiled, trying to stop the fight that was brewing.
"No, I think it's very obvious who's wrong here," Rachel huffed as she crossed her arms, "I know Veronica agrees with me."
"Mhm!" She called as she peeked her head out the car window.
"Obviously not to Joey," Ross huffed and turned to Joey expectantly.
"...What?" Joey repeated.
After receiving a heated lecture from Phoebe about being civil or disbanding the friend group, Ross and Rachel –and Veronica– had finally agreed to be civil with each other.
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"O-oh hey Joey," Veronica smiled as she walked into his apartment.
"Ronnie, hey!" He grinned at her and pulled her into a hug, "Man, I feel like we've barely been hanging out recently."
"Mhm," She nodded stiffly, "I thought you had a date tonight?"
"Oh, yeah," He waved her off, "She canceled on me but hey it all works out because now we can hang out. I mean that's why you're here right?"
"Uh," She trailed off and smiled warmly at the obvious excitement in his eyes, "Yeah, yeah that's why I came over, I figured the three of us could watch a movie and do face masks."
"T-the three of us, huh," His smile fell slightly before he nodded weakly, "Yeah, that sounds great! I gotta go get changed real quick."
Joey tried to grab the landline as discreetly as possible, which wasn't all that successful, and rushed to his room. He'd lied to Veronica, his date hadn't canceled on him but he was about to cancel on her. He just got so excited at the idea of hanging out with Veronica, something they had been doing less and less recently, that he'd decided to cancel the date then and there.
He frowned when he remembered that Chandler had also been invited. He'd been hoping that it would be just the two of them but he was just happy to be spending time with her at this point.
"Hey, Lucy," He pretended to cough, "I'm real sorry but I'm going to have to cancel our date tonight. Yeah, I'm really coming down with something."
If Chandler knew what he was doing, and if he wasn't sleeping with Veronica, then he would have joked that Joey really was coming down with something. A lovebug.
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〚𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄〛
I hope you guys liked this chapter, please tell me what you think! I just wanted to point out that the next few chapters are going to be episodes from season four just because for my fic they fit better in season three.
If you couldn't tell from this chapter, I'm team Rachel all the way lol.
Please don't forget to vote and comment!
Have a great day and stay safe ♥♥