aster's pov
a saturday night
"So how did your date go with Connor?" Maddy gave me a playful look as we were finishing up our makeup.
"He gave me flowers." i gagged dramatically as i point to the garbage can in the corner of my room.
"You know how much I hate flowers." i rolled my eyes. That was one difference of Maddy and i. She loved flowers, and i despised them.
"I know you do." Maddy started laughing to herself. "But did it go well?"
"I mean he is very cute. All i want is someone i can fuck without them wanting something more after. I think he wants friends with benefits too but i'm unsure."
"Did you guys do anything?" she was very curious based on the tone in her voice. She knew the answer to that.
"Yeah after dinner we might have fucked in the back parking lot of the restaurant." I admit while touching up my lipgloss.
"Damn. How was it?" she smirked. She hasn't stopped talking about Connor ever since he gave me his number at the mall. At first i was going to throw it away, but he was actually cute and i was hoping he would be down to just be fuck buddies. Relationships are just not my thing and never will be. The idea of putting my all into a relationship sounds terrifying and i just can't picture myself being invested in a person. There is no guy out there that i can see myself being fully open to.
"He's pretty clean down there. It was nice, he actually cared if i finished. Rate 8 out of 10. Would definitely fuck again." I smiled at the thought of me and Connor last night. "He wanted to take it further but there's only so much you can do in the back seat."
"How old is he?"
"19. I think he's in college somewhere nearby. I don't remember." I informed her as i look through my closet for shoes. I heard a phone ring so I glanced over at my vanity where Maddy was at. "Me or you?"
"Me. It's Nate." she huffed in annoyance as she declined it and threw the phone on my bed.
"So how are you guys?" I decided to ask since she's been avoiding the subject of Nate. Now that it slipped out of my mouth, i regret asking.
"We're back together. But lately he's been kind've off."
"Off how?" I pouted at the thought. I know that Nate and Maddy weren't a perfect couple, but there is no doubt that Nate makes her happy. I don't know how, but he does. I hate them together, but together or not, Nate is still in the topic of all our conversations. If she's not happy then i sure as hell am not either.
And thats all i care for. If she is content in the relationship then im happy. Until Nate goes too far. The day he goes to far, i'm killing him.
"I dont know. Its like im trying to talk to him, but his mind is somewhere else. It sucks because im venting to him. So that just makes me feel like shit that he's not even responding." She rolled her eyes at the thought of it all. Then her phone went off again.
"The devil returns." she stared down at her phone as she reached to grab it from where she threw it.
"Hello?" She put her phone to her ear, irritation was evident in her voice. She knew if she didn't pick up right now, he's definitely keep blowing her up.
I could already tell by Maddy's tone that they were fighting and it wasn't going to end well. I needed to filter out the voices.
So i took this time to check my phone to kill time, this phone fight is going to take a while.
—
Connor: hey. heard you're going to jack's party?
aster: yeah. how did you
know about that party?
Connor: my buddy's
little brother is jack
aster: omg rly?
Connor: small world
Connor: so see you there?
aster: guess so;)
—
I finally got my car back from the shop and i couldn't be any happier. Plus Nate gave me more than enough to repair damages, so i guess i'm going on another shopping spree.
I miss just sitting in my car, by myself just vibing to music. I did a lot of thinking while driving. It was therapeutic. The freedom i had. Especially since my house wasn't a place where i could just relax. In fact its the opposite. Sometimes i prefer school over going home. It was more secure that way.
Things were bad at home. All the fucking time. Thats why i adapted the lifestyle of going out and partying every weekend. Anything that got me out of there made me relieved. It was the only time where i could forget my real life.
"So i take it that you and Nate aren't going to be excited to see each other at the party?" I bit my lip nervously as we got into my car. Jack was a guy on the football team, so everybody we knew was going.
"Nope. Im mad at him. And hes mad at me because im mad at him." She crossed her arms after putting her seatbelt on.
"Okay well don't let that ruin your night, Mads." I glance over at her, thankfully Megan thee stallion immediately played when my phone synced up.
This changed her mood fast. Now we were hyping ourselves up as we made our way to the party. She kept going on how she was going to ignore his ass at the party and dance with some randoms.
—
At the party
Maddy and I pushed through the crowds of people dancing to find people we knew. I see a lot of unfamiliar faces so i guess a lot of Connor's college friends came.
"Excuse me." i tried to walk through, not even realizing i was talking to Connor.
"Hey." I felt Connor's arms wrap around my waist once he realized it was me.
Damn I couldn't even get a damn drink in and he's already on my nuts. Don't get me wrong, i love the attention, especially from a cute guy like Connor. But it felt like he was trying to stake a claim on me. His eyes kept traveling to the guys in the kitchen who were watching us. He had a smug grin on his face as he looked over at them.
"Hey." Im caught off guard my his attempt to make out with me. I eyed the group of guys in the crowded kitchen watching us.
"Relax." I set my hand on his chest. Then he finally pulled away. "Don't act like that." he responded. i felt his hands wander down to my ass. He's lucky he's cute and a good fuck because he'd make direct contact with my car tires if not. We fuck once and he thinks he can touch me whenever he pleases.
I completely ignored his comment and pointed to Maddy. "This is my best friend, Maddy." I gesture to her since she was standing next to me. But she was too preoccupied trying to find Nate so she can ignore him. Yup that makes no sense to me either.
"Best friend and dont you forget it. I'll kill you if you hurt Aster. Got it?" She gave him a intimidating stare before walking off. Hm i guess she was listening to us. I watched the worry overcome Connor's face as she vanished.
"She's nice i promise." I laughed awkwardly knowing i was lying. It's funny because she's rooting for me to fuck Connor but she's acting as if she hates him. He just laughed it off and nodded. "Want a drink?"
"Of course. That's the only reason i came," I followed him towards the kitchen to grab a drink.
"And here i am thinking you came for me." he fake pouted as he handed me a can of whatever hard seltzer there was. Not usually my cup of tea but it'll suffice. I drove here too so i can't be drinking too much anyways.
"Thank you." i took a sip from the can.
I leaned against the kitchen counter and just watched his friends continue to watch us. Well, more like watch me. I knew they were his friends because i stalked his instagram page and recognized a few of them from group pictures on his account. It was a deep dive considering i only wanted a fuck buddy, but i was curious. I want to see if he had any cute friends.
I felt both his hands rest on the counter on both sides of me, caging me in. Me sipping my drink was the only thing stopping him from kissing me. So i just kept sipping.
"You look really good tonight." our eyes stayed on each other with every word he was saying.
"You do too." i set the drink down beside me and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer if that's even possible. I didn't want to kiss him, but i wanted to kiss. Just not him. I know that doesn't make no fucking sense but in my head it does.
I pull him in until our lips were about to touch. There was none of that cheesy shit with sparks and butterflies. It was strictly lust and cravings all into one. I wanted a kiss, i wanted the attention but i didn't want it from Connor, or his friends. I quickly pulled away the second his friends started shouting comments at us. I didn't want to kiss him. Something about it felt wrong.
We both shook our heads at them and just laughed it off.
"You smoke?" he questioned as he pulled away from me to grab the joint his friend offered him.
"Yeah." I nod my heads. "But i only smoke the stuff he sells." i gesture to Fezco who was chilling on the couch in the living room. It was facing towards the open kitchen. He was talking it up with Rue so he couldn't see Connor and I just staring at him. I took a good look at Fezco. He was wearing a black and dark green striped long sleeve. He looked so good tonight. Like i wanted him, the crave for Connor was gone now that i'm glued to Fez. I saw him when i arrived to the party but i was immediately bombarded by Connor and i got distracted. But i knew exactly where he would be.
"I trust your judgement." he nodded his head and made way towards Fez.
I just stood there by the kitchen and watched their little exchange. It seemed as if Fez paid no mind to him. In fact their whole convo lasted a mere 4 seconds and Fezco's eyes locked on me the whole time, like he knew i sent him. Then Connor came back empty handed. I couldn't help but laugh.
"He said he's out." he shrugged.
Hmm... a part of me thinks he's full of shit.
"Hold on." i hand Connor my drink and made my way towards Fez myself.
"Hey freckles." i took a seat right next to him, personal space no longer existed. I knew it didn't bother him. His eyes immediately averted to my thigh that was touching him.
It's been a week since i've seen him, doesn't mean i don't miss being around him. My parents recently have just been a handful. As much as i wanted to run away from my problems to go see him, i couldn't. Honestly the last thing i want is to talk to someone about my issues. It's like reliving them, i didn't even want to live them out the first time. Why do it again?
"Hey Aster," he nodded his head at me.
"So you seriously don't have weed?" i raised a brow, fake pouting.
"Nah. I do. Just not for your boyfriend." he used his head to refer to Connor before taking another hit. I let out a laugh and shook my head in disbelief.
"He's not my boyfriend." I made it very known. He didn't know if i was for real or not but he nodded. I don't know why i felt like i had to clear it up.
"So how about for your favorite customer?" i used those fuck me eyes on him. They worked on every guy i ever wanted. It was working now.
"Of course i got some for you." he took one out of his pocket and i denied it. I leaned in closer to him as if i was going to kiss him. No words had to be said for him to catch my drift. He just turned his body towards me with the biggest smirk. Then he took another hit of his joint and exhaled directly into my mouth. I did as best as i could to inhale all the smoke into my mouth. Our faces almost colliding with one another. I was tempted but i stopped myself.
It was my time to let loose. To make all the bullshit i've gone through this past week not matter anymore. If i wanted to make a move on Fez, i was going to do it. I'm stressed, depressed, horny and obsessed with my drug dealer. I don't know if i've lost my mind or found it. I'm just happy to be here.
"Thank you." I shot him a quick smile.
"No problem." He returned the smile he got all red before looking away.
"Enjoying the party?" I questioned him as i scooted over to give him space.
"Sure. Got a lot of customers." He let out a little laugh.
I just nodded in response. I laid my head back on the sofa and just stared at the light fixture in the living room. Damn they got to replace one of the light bulbs, it died out. My eyes concentrated on the dead lightbulb.
"You okay?" he then got serious as he analyzed my face.
"Yeah. I didnt even drink that much." I shake my head. It was true. I had like a few sips of a White Claw.
"No i mean like are you good?" He questioned again.
"Yeah." i said with no explanation following after.
Then we just sat there silently, smoking weed together. I like smoking with Fez, he doesn't hog it all. Every time he takes a hit he hands it right to me. Unlike BB, her greedy ass will take a hit and hold it and take a few more hits before handing it over.
Its been a week since we were high on his roof looking at the stars. It seems so bizarre that we shared an interaction like that but cant hold a conversation now. There's so much i want to say but i can't say anything. How do i explain to my drug dealer that i take a liking to him? Do i even like him? Would he think it's weird? What if he didn't find that night on the roof meaningful at all? Here i go again, overthinking everything.
"Did you drive here?"
"Yeah why?" i glanced over at him, finally forgetting about that stupid lightbulb.
"Let me take you home." He stood up and extended his hand to me.
"No it's okay. I didn't drink that much. Plus i don't wanna be home." i denied his offer.
"Let me rephrase that, let me take you to my home." his hand still extended for me to take it.
I kindly placed mine in his and raised a brow. "Why?"
"Because i know you're not good. So let's go talk about it on the roof." He explained while pulling me off the couch. "This party is lame anyways." His eyes averted to Connor in the kitchen. I could tell Connor's eyes were on us. Not only his, but his friends too. They were all laughing at Connor.
"Shit i have to find Maddy." now i was worried, i don't want her thinking i ditched her, what if she doesn't get a ride home. I was DD.
"Dont bother. She took off with Nate." he replied as I handed him my keys.
"Oh god. Were they fighting?" i let out a worried sigh.
"If making out on a lounge chair is them fighting then yeah." He chuckled as he helped me into the passenger seat of my car.
"What about your car?" I glance over at him once he got into the driver's seat.
"Don't worry about it. I'll get it tomorrow." He said so nonchalant.
—sweeteasaint
any scene with fezco just makes me happy😭