After such sadness, let's light things up.
We talked the whole night, holding each other as we spoke from our hearts.
He told me how afraid he was that his fucked up family would hurt me to get back at him.
I told him how guilty I felt that he did what they wanted because he wished to protect me.
He confessed that he hurt people worse than Chung-Ho. And that he sometimes liked it and that scared him the most- that he would become like his brothers.
I held him tighter.
"Never" I told him with all my conviction.
I knew him.
No matter what had happened, he would always be my Taehyung.
And if he he ever felt like loosing himself, I would be there to pull him back.
I told him as much and he smiled at my words, kissing me slowly.
We did so a lot.
And this was different again.
It was slow and unhurried, like we had all the time in the world.
There was a promise in every kiss, every touch, every exchange of looks.
We fell asleep tangled up in each other, and I'd never felt more at peace.
And when I woke up this time, Tae was still there.
"Morning baby," he whispered as I opened my eyes and smiled.
His hair was tousled, his eyes still sleepy and there was an equally happy smile on his face as he looked down at me.
"I think I like it when you call me that." I admitted, my voice still rough from sleep.
He chuckled and I felt the vibration all through my body since I was still lying half on top of him, his hands draped around me and holding me close.
He grew silent for a moment and I felt the tension building in his body.
"How about calling you my girlfriend?", he suddenly let out.
My breath caught, even though it was kind of obvious.
What else would we be?
But hearing it still sent my heartbeat into a chaos.
I blinked up at him.
And then the biggest, most stupid grin formed on my lips.
"I think I would like that even more."
He smiled back just as widely, his body relaxing beneath.
But before he could answer, we both heard the footsteps.
Our eyes widened.
With a racing heart and a shaking body we turned away from one another and pretended to be asleep as Namjoon knocked and then entered my room.
"Hey you sleepy-heads. I know it's Saturday, but that doesn't mean you can sleep all day."
There was a faked mumble from Tae and I tried my best at pretending to just wake up.
"Yeah, yeah, we'll be down soon."
There was a moment of silence where I allowed myself to sneak a peak at my brother.
He was looking at the bed with a frown.
Then he looked over at Tae and a shadow crossed his face.
I quickly closed my eyes again when his gaze fell back on me.
"Okay. Mom already put away breakfast though, so you'll have to find something to eat yourself," he said, then closed the door and walked back downstairs.
Both me and Tae let out a long breath breath of relieve and turned to one another.
There was a moment of silence as we stared at each other.
Then we burst into uncontrollable laughter that had us holding our stomach.
The morning was nothing short of perfect.
Waking up next to Tae, making ourselves breakfast while sneaking kisses when we were sure no one was around, the sunlight filtering through the kitchen windows, reflecting the way I felt.
This was true happiness.
I couldn't help but stare at him the entire time.
Every time he smiled his boxy smile, my heart leaped in my chest.
Every time I heard his chuckle, my stomach fluttered.
Every time our skin touched, I burned up and my skin prickled.
Eventually, we did have to learn for school though, but even then, I sought his closeness, snuggling against him every chance I got until he threatened to hug me to death, which only made me throw myself at him more.
Later we got a message from Hoseok, saying they were going to hang out at the lake and then head to the school dance as a group.
Right- the dance.
I totally forgot about it after I texted Jackson and told him I couldn't go with him.
He'd taken it pretty chill and I heard he already got a new date.
I glanced to my left.
Taehyung glanced back.
"So.. I know it's pretty early to talk about this, but.." I scratched my head, unsure how to put it.
"What exactly are we going to tell the others? I mean, we can't keep this a secret forever."
Tae let out a sigh.
We were sitting on my bed, books and papers spread around us.
He pulled me closer, thinking as he looked at our intertwined hands.
"I know we should tell them. But- I'm worried that if me make this public, my brothers will hear. And then my father will know. "
"But they already know we're best friends, right?"
He nodded with a frown, clearly agitated by the thought.
"Yeah. But friendship is something else. At leas in their eyes. If they knew-"
He broke off, kneading my hands and then met my eyes.
"Let's just wait a little longer. Let's just enjoying this time. I would love to tell the others, but it would be hard to explain why they would have to keep it to themselves."
I nodded.
If this was the condition of being together, I would gladly take it.
We got dressed and headed to the lake where the others were already waiting for us.
It was a beautiful, sunny day and the little lake was glittering in the midday sun.
I was sunbathing with Jisoo, while the boys were playing handball in the water.
I couldn't help but track Taehyung's movements and admire his body in the heat.
He sometimes caught me staring and only smirked to himself.
At the same time, I couldn't help but think about the things I've found out.
I thought about Taehyung's sister.
She had only been seventeen, my age, when she was desperate enough to run away from her family, taking her little brother with her, only for her older brothers to beat her to death.
It was just too cruel.
And I understood Taehyung's fear.
He was afraid the next seventeen year old girl would be me if I stayed by his side.
I glanced over to my sister.
She was reading in a magazine, completely at ease.
I cleared my throat.
"Unni."
She turned to me with a smile.
"Do you know about Taehyung's dad?"
She dropped the book as her mouth fell open.
She was probably surprised to hear me speak about him.
Just like Tae, I never mentioned his family and usually got pretty angry when anyone did.
"Wh-why? Did something happen? Did you see him?"
Her concern was obvious in her voice so I quickly shook my head.
"No, no, of course not. I was just wondering... You're a police officer, so I'm sure you've seen his file, right? He's a criminal after all."
Jisoo looked at me suspiciously, a cease on her forehead as she thought about my words.
Then she sighed.
"I'm no police officer yet, more like a trainee. And why do you suddenly need to know about him? If I'm being honest, I don't think he will be out for long. People like Tae's father never learn from their mistakes. So, don't worry."
I snorted.
Not worry- how was I supposed to do that?
"And his brothers? I heard they- they are kind of a troubled bunch."
Jisoo got up from her chair, sitting across me, hands on her knees.
Sometimes she looked downright freighting for such a tiny, thin girl.
"Y/N, I really don't know why you are asking, but I want you to drop it. I thought you never wanted to know about them anyway. Taehyung is not like that and that's all you need to worry about it, all right?"
I swallow hard but nodded.
I didn't understand her sudden anger and directness- almost like she knew something.
But before I could ask anything else, a very wet Jin hugged her from behind.
Jisoo squeaked and tried to shake her boyfriend off, but Jin held tight, laughing the entire time.
Then I saw Taehyung, nearing me slowly with the most mischievous grin on his face, his hair dripping with water.
He smirked.
I stood up, shaking my head.
"Oh no, don't even think about it."
I warned him, backing away.
He only kept advancing with that smirk.
Deep down, I knew I already lost.
I knew how fast he could be.
He took another step.
I screamed and turned to run, but like expected, I didn't manage to take three steps before he was on me.
He lifted me off the air with a single arm around my waist and then rubbed his wet hair all over my body like a wet dog.
I was trapped between a scream and a laugh as I struggled so much, we went down together.
He caught our fall while still laughing end rolled me under him in a quick movement, trapping my hands above my head.
His dark hair fell around his face and his smile was as radiant as the sun.
He looked down at me.
A moment passed.
His smile vanished.
His eyes dipped down to my lips and I felt his weighed shift a little, causing more of us to touch, feeling his weight pressing down on me.
My breath caught.
I was aware of how little I wore- nothing more than a short, red bikini.
And Taehyung also wore only his bathing shorts, which were still wet and hiding nothing.
The world stopped as his eyes darkened, his breath quickened and he lowered himself.
"Yo! Tae! Y/N? Are you gonna play with us or planning to make out on the ground?"
Taehyung was gone the second he heard Jimin's teasing tone, pulling me up with him.
"Yeah, we're coming!", he yelled and it was my time to smirk, because his voice was still quivery.
I was suddenly feeling very, very naughty, so I stood on my tip toes and whispered into his ear:
"Such a shame, just when I was getting wet."
I felt him stiffen as his eyes nearly bulged out of his eyes at my sultry voice.
And then I walked away, swinging my ass, leaving an open mouthed Taehyung behind me.