"I never walk about after dark, it's my point of view. Cause' someone could break your neck, coming up behind you. Always coming, never had a clue,"
He's going to expel me. Sitting here, waiting in Dumbledore's office, staring down his stupid fucking bird, all I can think is he's going to expel me.
If anything he should be fired, right? A seventh year got bitten by a vicious werewolf under his supervision. I mean, I was only out to have a walk and smoke muggle herb. It can't be my fault, I refuse to believe I brought this upon myself. But, I know I did and Dumbledore is too kind for me to want him fired.
Merlin why can't I just smoke on the astronomy tower like everyone else? Even though it's probably the least of my concerns, I really hope pot isn't illegal in the wizarding world.
I turn my head when I hear Dumbledore and McGonagall walk in. My long leg bounces anxiously and I wipe my sweaty palms on my grass stained skirt as he takes his seat across from me. "How are you feeling Ms. Evans ?" He asks kindly.
I feel livid, its the third week of school and now I'm a beast because of my pot dependency. I know that's not what he means or wants to hear though. "I'm feeling better, Madame Pomfrey healed the bite wound almost completely although she says it's going to scar" I reply my voice shaky.
I can see his bright eyes analyzing me. Watching my every move as if he's peering through my soul. It's only been 30 seconds and I'm ready to burst at the seams, I've had enough. "Am I going to be expelled?" I blurt my eyes darting between him and McGonagall.
She sends me a small sympathetic smile that I take as my confirmation. The room begins to spin around me and I can feel Greybacks jagged teeth ripping through my flesh again. I start hyperventilating, sweat beading on my forehead. "Ms. Evans, please calm down and breathe. You are not expelled." He says softly.
My dark brown eyes look up and meet his light blue ones and I can almost breathe again, calmness washing over me. "Why would you think such a thing?" McGonagall's thick Scottish accent asks.
I know she's trying to be kind but is she serious? Why is she even here she's the head of Gryffindor? "Well, er, because I'm dangerous now and I was out past curfew" I stammer. I will just assume they don't know about the pot, what they don't know cant hurt me.
The old man sighs sadly while stroking his long white beard. Though its totally inappropriate right now, I wonder how old he is. I mean, how long has this bloke been here?
I'm expecting him to give me words of comfort or even some cryptic encouraging message, but he doesn't. He's completely silent, how lovely.
I can't take silence when I'm around other people. I love the quiet when I'm alone, so peaceful , so calm but when I'm around other people my brain tells me to fill it. With my hands drumming on my lap, random pointless chatter or even just my usual leg bounce.
I shift uncomfortably almost feeling like he's forgotten that I'm here. I clear my throat awkwardly, "I don't have to tell anyone right?" I motion to myself, "about this?"
"No, in fact it might be in your best interest that you don't. I will get into contact with your mother and register this information with the ministry, other than that no one needs to know besides select staff." He unwraps a lemon drop and pops it into his mouth, "during full moons, you will be taken to a secure and secluded dungeon where you will stay until sunrise."
I nod thoughtfully, that sounds fair enough. I'm utterly terrified of the pain that I'm going to feel when I turn, I should try not to dwell until the time comes. As if she's reading my mind McGonagall speaks up, "The next full moon is in about four weeks time."
I nod again, "It's almost like you deal with this often" I chuckle nervously.
The two teachers share a look I can't quite understand and tense. Bloody hell, tough crowd I guess.
"Ms. Evans, while I do applaud how well you seem to be handling this situation please be aware this will not be an easy adjustment and it will take a great toll on you mentally and physically " Dumbledore says.
"Sir, I'm well aware with how serious this is but there is nothing I can do to change what has already happened to me." I say in a matter-of-fact tone like my mum does when she thinks she's right.
But I actually am right.
He hums in response and smiles, "Be sure that you don't shut the people who care about you out, and allow yourself to make room for new ones," he leans back in his chair, "you are dismissed and may excused from the rest of your classes"
I give him a tight lipped smile and get up, rolling my eyes as I turn away and brush past McGonagall. Whatever the bloody fuck that was supposed to mean.
What the hell is going on?
Ahh first chapter done! I know this was short but I already had it written and it looked a lot longer in my notebook lmao.
Song: Oblivion By Grimes (linked at top)