Victorio.P.O.V.
A stupid alarm woke me up from my sleep, so I just pushed it off the dresser. I hate mornings. Especially when I have to go to school.Even it's saturday,i have to go.Stupid art section.Why are sections mandatory at all?I hate exhibitions.They are organized it too ofted, if I may add. This was not one of the serious exhibitions, not even close to it. It was held inside the school hall.It was only necessary to give an insight to the professors about the work done during the last month.
I cursed myself in the chin quietly and got up from the warm bed.
I got up and put on casual black pants,also a black hoodie.
Outside,dark clouds were already rising, which hinted at rain. It was nice to see that for a change.That means there won't be a hell of forty degrees as usual.
I put the headphones in my ears,letting Bring me the horizons to wake me up. I fixed my hair and left the room,locking it behind me.
The whole apartment smelled of alcohol. Why didn't they open the damn windows and let some air in? I walked into the living room and everything was clear to me. Lucas and Jack were sleeping on the couch, deadly drunk.The room was in general chaos. Cans and bottles were scattered everywhere. I noticed that Allenn was not with them and assumed he was sleeping in my aunt's room.Before I go, I'll wake Lucas to come with me. I'm not going there alone. I don't know how to act in front of crowds all by myself. Especially because it's exhibition,I need a little bit of support.
I continued into the kitchen to make some coffee,but Alann was inside. Why is he awake now? He was sitting on the kitchen bar in a black tight T-shirt and drinking coffee.His T-shirt was tight and outlined the shape of his body,which was more skinny than muscular.His tattoos were completely exposed, and his hair was a little messy.I guess he got up now or didn't sleep at all. There was no third option.
Fuck,he's handsome. I become a nervous. I can't feel like this. He's Lucas's cousin.
When he heard someone come in, he turned to me.His tired blue eyes intercepted me and shivers ran through my body. This is bad. I can't control my nervous and helpless when he looked at me.
I noticed that his lips are moving,but I couldn't hear him.When I realized that the song was still going on, I took off my headphones.
ALANN:"Why are you awake? It's not even eight yet."
ME:"That's what I could ask you."
I put the water to make coffee and sat down at the desk across from him so we were facing each other.It was about fifteen inches for our knees to touch and I felt pretty upset about it.
ALANN:"Insomnia."
ME:"That explains your face."
ALANN:"What's wrong with my face?"
ME:"Nothing...You just look tired."
ALANN:"I don't doubt it...Get used to it.I can rarely sleep."
ME: "Why?...I mean, you don't have to tell me. I don't want to be annoying."
ALANN:"No, it's not a problem. I've been suffering from insomnia since I know for myself.I don't remember when I had sleeping more than four hours."
ME:"Oh..I'm Sorry."
ALANN:"It's okay ... I can live with that."
ME: "Yes...obviously."
He laughed briefly, and I couldn't help myself without doing the same.
ALANN:"What about you,kiddo?"
ME: "Kiddo?"
ALANN:"That is cool nickname."
ME:"It's not.We are the same age."
ALANN:"Why are you awake now,anyways?"
ME: "I have to go in a stupid school because of section."
ALANN:"Which section did you choice,by the way?"
ME: "Art...Today we have some kind of exhibition. It's not a big deal."
ALANN: "You know how to draw?"
I paused.What can I say?I mean,I'm not that good.But I'm not that bad,either.
Damn,stop overthinking.
ALANN:"Yo!"
ME:"Uh...What?
ALANN: "For the millionth time, you're staring at the floor again and overthinking."
ME: "It doesn't matter.I just...I don't know what to say."
ALANN:"I asked a simple question."
ME: "I know, just ... I don't know. Sometimes it turns out well, and sometimes it doesn't."
ALANN: "I'm pretty sure it's great."
I raised my head and met his eyes ... Oh God, why is this happening? His face was cold and mysterious. Again, no emotion loomed over him.His eyes were too deep for you to ever know what they were actually hiding. He was all like that. Hidden. Inaccessible.I feel shivers down my spine.
We stared at each other and I felt pretty nervous. I was biting my lower lip and was quite confused. A million thoughts were piling up in my head.
At that moment, the water began to boil and I quickly turned to the stove.My heart was pounding three hundred per hour from a sudden loud sound.
ME:"Oh my God,shit!"
I jumped.
ALANN:"I've never seen anyone get scared so easily... literally of anything."
ME:"I hate unexpected things...especially sounds."
ALANN:"Why? Something from the past or ..."
ME:"It's not."
There is no way I would tell anyone about my past.Never.It's buried in me and will never come to the surface.I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.
ME: "It has nothing to do with it...I just hate unexpected sounds and movements.That's all."
It seemed to surprise him a little, so he didn't say anything.I poured coffee into a cup.
ME:"I'm sorry, but I have to go to wake up Lucas."
ALANN:"That won't work."
ME:"Why not?"
ALANN:"He's drunk.He fell asleep at five in the morning, and now it's not even eight."
ME:"I don't care ... He has to get up."
ALANN:"Do you need anything?"
ME: "Nothing what you would understand."
ALANN:"Spit it out, Victorio."
ME:"He just needs to come with me.That's all."
ALANN:"Do you need help with the drawings?"
ME:"I'll tell you, if you promise not to make fun of me."
ALANN:"Make fun of you?I'm twenty.Why would I make fun of anyone?"
ME:"That's what those two said,so even today,they made fun of me for that.
ALANN: "How funny that can be?"
ME:"I don't know"
ALANN:"Come on,tell me."
ME:"Actually, it's not for help.I..I just..."
God,this is so hard.
ME:"I can't go there alone."
ALANN: "Why? It's far or ..."
ME:"No.You don't understant..."
I paused and lowered my head. I hate to talk about this.I don't even know why I'm telling him this.How could he understand that at all?
It took me a long time to continue. I'm not even sure he heard me.
I'm starting to trust him...I don't even know why.
ME:"I can't go alone...I mean, I can, but ...Let's just say it could end not so well."
ALANN: "Wait...You can't go anywhere alone? Not even to the store?"
ME:"Its not that bad...If I have to,I can...But it's hard for me...you know,to be alone...outside. "
ALANN:"Why?
ME:"It doesn't matter."
ALANN:"It seems to me that you are afraid of many things."
ME:"Like I said,It doesn't matter.That's my problem. That's why I have to wake up Lucas now.I will be late. "
I headed to go around him,but his hand suddenly landed on my wrist.It was hot and firm. Oh,God no...
ALANN:" I'll go with you.Anyways,I'm definitely awake, unlike Lucas."
ME:"No. You don't have to ..."
ALANN:"What did I say about that when I say something?To expect it to be so."
ME:"I'm sorry.I just..."
ALANN:"Stop apologizing for everything."
He sounded a little bit angry.Did I do something wrong?What can I say now? Probably just keeping quiet.I lowered my head and tightened my hands.Say something, idiot! I hate myself for this.
ALANN: "It's okay..Go and put on your shoes.I'll be there for a minute."
I nodded and walked out of the kitchen.God, I'm going to kill myself.Why is he doing this?My heart was pounding.He scares me.
We walked slowly towards the station to catch up the bus to my school.When the bus finally arrived, we took our seats in the back.It was not full of people,fortunately.
I put on a headphones.
A song from the game Bendy and the ink machine, which I adored, came to my playlist. I turned up the volume when I felt the headphones fall from my left ear. I quickly turned around and saw that Alann had pulled it.
ME:"Why did you do that?"
ALANN:"Talk to me or give me one headphone.I insist.You listen to music all the time."
ME:"Why do you want to talk to me so much? And what do you have against my music?"
ALANN:"You're an interesting guy, Victorio ...You just keep quiet a lot.By the way,I don't know what you're listening to, so I can't hate your music.Although, I can assume you're listening to rock and that stuff."
Yeah,and fucking nightcore and kpop..How brutal and menly.
ME:"I love ..."
ALANN:"I know. I know you love music."
ME:"Then what don't you understand?Lucas and Jack never make me take off my headphones.They think that's stupid and they just let me to listen my music."
ALANN: "Do you know what's stupid about that?"
ME: "I don't care if you think it's stupid to listening music 24/7."
ALANN:"Dude,I didn't even think about that.It's stupid that they let you to do that."
ME:"No, they just respect me."
ALANN: "No,actually they're immature kids who don't care."
That didn't hurt me.I know it's true. I'm trying to adjust and fit it,but it's really hard for me.
ME:"However.."
I went to return the headphones, but he stop me.
ALANN: "You can't.You will have to communicate nicely with me.I just moved here.Tell me about your city."
ME:"It's not ..."
ALANN: "I'm listening.I'm pretty interested in what life is like here."
I sighed, powerless to confront him. At first, I didn't know what to say.I stuttered and mixed up the words, as if I were talking about a city I had never been to. I didn't even know what to say, but he was extracting words out of me. He kept asking diefferent questions, making me to talk.
I relaxed a bit .I didn't even know how he foreced me to talk, but he succeeded.I guess he was just trying, and no one had done it before.I have never talked that much in my life.
After some times,we were in front of the faculty.
I led him inside and he seemed quite impressed with the whole building as well as the multitude of drawings and paintings which was here.
There were a lot of people inside and I felt terribly uncomfortable, but it was much easier for me not to be alone here.
ME: "I have to go to the cabinet and get my drawings."
ALANN: "Okay, come on."
We climbed to the third floor and entered in the cabinet where my drawings were supposed to be.They were here.Inside were also two guys fixing something on the their drawings.
I approached the table where there were two paintings on canvas that I painted with acrylic colors and eight drawings.Most of them was portraits, because I liked it the most.
I just grabbed them so Alann wouldn't see it. I was scared he wouldn't like them.
Immediately,he stopped me.Damn,why does he keep doing it?I don't want him to see.There's no way he's going to think that is good.
ALANN:"Wait...Can I see?
ME: "Do you have to?"
ALANN:"Yes"
ME:"God, why? It's not even good."
ALANN: "I'll evaluate that."
He pulled all the works out of my hand. He arrange them up on the table and suddenly his eyes gleamed.He looked impressed.I noticed a small smile on his face.That was enough to warm my heart, but also to reacing it.
ALANN:"Holy fuck, Victorio ... How did you do all of this?"
ME:"Wait...Do you really like them?"
ALANN:"God, I can't believe you're even asking me that...I fucking love it!These are the best drawings I've ever seen!"
I feel like I'm fucking blushing and I looked away. What the fuck is wrong with me?Stop it! I can't like him. I just can't.
He started praising certain details on the drawings and it was obvious that he was honest. He really liked it.
No one has said things like this to me before.I've heard words like "you're good" or "you're talented," but all this?No one has been impressed with me before.
ALANN: "I still can't believe you really did all this... Let's take them down."
ME:"Thank you,I guess.."
ALANN:"You're so talented,you know?"
I rubbed my neck and took the drawings. I avoided looking at him because I was fucking blushing.
He can't see me like this.
ALANN:"Aw,your checks are red."
I think I'm going to die.
ME:"What?They're not."
ALANN:"Then look at me."
ME:"I won't. I will be late. Let's go."
ALANN:"Damn,you're so cute."
Why are you doing this to me?
ALANN:"I'm just being honest. It's a fact."
Damn,I said that outloud.
ME:"Well...You are annoying."
I hurried up and went towards the hall.
The exhibition did not last long.We got back quickly.The return passed in conversation, for a miracle.We talked about random and unimportant things.He mostly inquired a lot about my drawing.He seemed interested.For the first time in my life, I was able to talk freely.Without stuttering,lowering the head and silence.
He's the first one who actually trying to really talk with me.
ALANN:"Let's go.I will buy you an icecream. You deserve it,since the exhibition was that good."
ME:"Really?You want to hung out with me."
ALANN:"Ofcourse. Let's stop on the next station."
ME:"Okay,I you want."
He smiled to me and my heart got crazy.
Damn,he's so cute.
We stopped at the next station,and when we heeded to come out from bus, crowds become so big that I could barely see where am I going.
In that moment,I felt someone took my hand.
I turned back to see who it is and I almost die when I saw Alanns holding my hand.
ALANN:"Don't mind it. I don't want to lose you."
This is the first time someone said to me "I don't want to lose you".I was so speechless to heard that.
I grabbed his hand too.
We get out of the bus.
ME:"I didn't even notice there was that much people."
ALANN:"As expected. It's going to rain soon."
I look down and notice that we are still holding each others hand.
Alann just grabbed me tighter and pulled me towards him.
ALANN:"You know,I have no idea where we can buy icecream...So,lead me."
ME:"Oh,right...You're a tourist."
ALANN:"I'm not a tourist!"
ME:"Oh,don't be shy...That's not a bad thing.You don't know where is icecream. "
ALANN:"You're teasing me,huh?"
ME:"I'm just stating a facts."
ALANN:"Facts?What facts?Come here."
He started pulling me around neck so we kinda wrestled in the middle of street.
ALANN:"omg!
ME:"God,what?You scared me!"
ALANN:"I found it!"
He grabbed my hand and started running toward caffe.
ALANN:"Let me choice for you."
ME:"No.You will take some poison."
ALANN:"Well,since I'm paying...I can take that too."
ME:"Spare me.I can pay for myself. This isn't date."
ALANN:"Well,it can be."
ME:"What?"
ALANN:"So,which flavour you like?"
He take the menu and hended it to me.
ME:"I already know. Chocolate and banana shake."
ALANN:"I said I will buy you the icecream,not the shake."
ME:"You don't have to buy me anything."
ALENN:"I'm kidding.Calm down.I will buy it."
He ordered for us.He take the same as me.
ME:"Alann,listen...I want to apologise."
ALANN:"Apologise for what?"
ME:"I was unpleasant yesterday. You were just trying to talk with me,while I was really rude."
ALANN:"You don't have to feel guilty for such a thing."
ME:"But I do.The truth is, I'm really,really quiet person and it's rare situation that someone want to talk with me.So when that happen,I don't know how to act. Meeting people is hard for me."
ALANN:"I know. Don't worry. I understand it. That's why I was angry only the five minutes. "
ME:"You...You're not mad?"
ALANN:" Like I told you,don't worry. Feel free to tell me when you're uncomfortable or when I ask too much questions. I will understand it. Okay?"
ME:"Yeah...Thank you. You're the first person who actually want to talk with me,you know?"
ALANN:"What about Jack and Lucas?"
ME:"I don't really talk with them about private thongs...They always kinda laugh at others problem. I just can't be honest with them."
ALANN:"What about me?You know me only the couple of days?"
ME:"I...Look,icecream is here. Let's eat."
He smiled and we started eating and talking about some random things about ourselves.
I'm glad I got the courage to say sorry to him.I don't know why I'm so relaxed around him. He make me feel good.
I'm scared that I'm falling in love with him.