It is Christmas Eve, Brett Yang and Eddy Chen had been married for a few years now. Everything was going wrong, a divorce was on the way and it was just life being life. But, a small reminder had allowed them to see how much they truly loved each other.
warnings: minimal angst but a happy and fluffy ending
Third Person POV
Brett was finished putting up the Christmas tree in their living room a few weeks ago. His husband on the other side of the house, practicing. Brett sighed as he looked at the tree. It was so beautiful but something about it had changed.
Yes, it was still the same tree that they had put up ever since they started living together. Yet, the circumstance now was different. The divorce papers were on the way for next year, Brett had no time to argue. Eddy was the one who wanted it. This might be the last Christmas they spend with each other.
So, Brett makes sure to make it last and make it one of the happiest things that they had shared together.
Brett did not know where he went wrong, he fought for their marriage, did everything that he could to make Eddy stay in their marriage but it is not enough. Eddy was simply not in love with Brett anymore. Of course, Brett never stopped but if it's what Eddy wants. Brett will not make him miserable just because he was.
He started to prepare food for their Christmas dinner.
"Brett, I d-don't want to do this anymore! I want a divorce! It's hurting me more than it's making me happy... I am telling you this because I love someone else and I am above cheating on you. I respect you, love you even! But I had never seen you as a lover... I just married you because you loved me and I thought I could learn to love you. I was wrong and I'm sorry Brett..." Eddy said, tears spilling down his face as his hands were shaking.
Brett pulled him in a hug and wiped his tears. He did not have time to cry, it would be unfair for Eddy. He will mourn later but for now, he had to show him that he will be fine.
"It's okay, Eddy... I agree to a divorce but can we part after Christmas? I do not want to make the holidays sad for Sofia. I mean, she's a teenager and she'll understand but I want to give her a happy Christmas instead of it being a painful memory for her each year." Brett said softly, holding Eddy who was still crying.
"Yes, Brett. I do not want to scar our daughter like that even if she's already sixteen..." Eddy said, muffled by the cloth of Brett's shirt.
Brett did not express what he truly felt at that moment because it will only hurt Eddy more.
Brett was halfway through the dinner when Sofia entered the kitchen. She was puzzled that Brett was doing the dinner alone. She had gotten used to her parents being all sweet and together during this times. Still, she helped Brett.
"Pa, I know you and dad are going to divorce..." Sofia started as she cut up vegetables.
Brett was continuing what he was cooking and stayed silent for a while.
"Sof, is that okay with you?" Brett asked, looking at her directly.
Sofia was closer to Eddy than him. There were even occasions where she had told Brett that she hated him.
"I mean, I really am not... But I'm guessing that he was the one who wanted the divorce so you just agreed. Papa, I know how much you love dad but you're allowed to be sad or even be angry..." She started, wiping her tears with the sweater she was wearing.
"Sof, don't cry. It's going to be alright. If you want to stay with Eddy then I'll let you. I just want to have weekends with you." Brett said, turning off the stove and engulfing his daughter in a hug.
"Pa, it's not that..." Sofia said, crying in his father's arms.
"What is it, Sofia?" Brett asked, rubbing circles on her back.
"How could you be that selfless, pa? Not everyone is like you..." She cried harder.
"It really is like this with the people you love, Sofia." Brett said quietly.
"Pa, most people would beg or get back at the other person..." She said, crying even more.
"Shh, Sofia, don't cry, darling. Me and your dad, this is normal... We still love you and that will never change. We just don't love each other the same way we did before." Brett coaxed.
"Papa, that's not the point! You say we as if you don't love him anymore. But I know you do! How could you just let him walk out on you after all these years!" Sofia said, already shaking against Brett.
"Darling, it's okay... As cliche as it sounds, you will understand it someday." Brett pulled away from the hug and grabbed a glass of water for his daughter. "Now, stop crying. I promised your dad that this holiday will be our best one yet." He added as he wiped her tears.
Slowly, she continued to cook with Brett again. Brett turned on the stove in order to complete the dinner. They did not know that Eddy was listening to the conversation they had before he had entered the kitchen.
"That smells good..." Eddy said as he peered over Brett's shoulder.
Eddy grabbed Brett's waist and pulled him closer. Brett was shocked but did not say anything else. He knew that this was all a charade for Sofia.
"Yeah, Sof helped me prepare it." Brett said in a small voice.
Eddy hadn't been this close ever since last year. He was not even this close when they sleep in the bed together. Eddy kissed Brett's cheek, Brett does not have time to react but his cheeks were furiously blushing and his heart was racing.
"Well, I am going to set the table." Eddy said as left the kitchen.
"What's with him?" Sofia mouthed.
Brett just shrugged, not knowing what possessed Eddy. He let it be because it might be last of the affections that he might ever get.
Dinner was fairly easy and okay for them. It was happy all around. They decided to watch a movie for the night as they had already opened presents. Halfway through the movie, Eddy wrapped his arms around Brett. Again, Brett was not used to this type of closeness anymore.
Still, he leaned in and never moved away from it. Their daughter looks at Eddy with a suspicious glance but let it go the moment Eddy interlocked his hand with Brett. Brett almost jumped up but he loved the feeling.
When they fell asleep that night, Eddy held him close. Brett could feel his skin, his breath, his hands and his heartbeat against his body. It was like Brett's seventeen again, young and free but so infatuated with the idea of love. It was like the first time all over again.
The feeling was never gone for Brett's heart.
Still, he did not hold on to the hope. This might be Eddy's way of saying goodbye or apologizing because he's not good with words.
"Brett?" Eddy asked, waking up suddenly.
"Hmm?"
"Go to sleep and don't worry. I could feel your worry from here..." Eddy said, almost apologetic.
Brett did not say anything more. The tears silently rolled down his face. Whether it was from happiness or pain, he does not know. He does not want to know, too.
Sleep did not come easy for Brett's mind that night.
- - - - -
"Eddy?"
"Yes?"
"You aren't going out tonight?" Brett asked curiously, it was a Friday night and Eddy rarely stayed home at these times.
"No..." Eddy said, still sitting down on the living room next to Brett. Leaving no space between them. "Why?" Eddy asked again.
"No reason... Usually you would be out and about." Brett said carefully, not wanting to insinuate any argument.
"Yeah, I just didn't feel like it tonight..." Eddy reasoned, setting his body closer to Brett's.
"Okay..." Brett replied quietly.
Eddy held his hand and Brett noticed the cold metal against his skin. This was the first time in the year that Eddy wore their wedding ring again.
- - - - -
For a month, everything about the husbands seem perfectly fine. It was so perfect that Brett forgot about the divorce papers that they were to sign. Still, with shaking hands, he signed it. This was the only way he could prove Eddy how much he loved him.
By letting him go to be happy with another person.
Eddy was in the room next door. Before Brett went to the room, he composed himself. He reminded himself that he had to do this for Eddy.
"Eddy, here are the papers. The lawyer sent it and you only have to sign. I'll just bring it over to her when you're done signing it..." Brett said steadily and emotionless.
He will not let Eddy saw through his façade. Eddy looked at it for a while, not even taking it from Brett's hands.
"I forgot about that..." Eddy said as he gently took the paper from Brett's hands.
Brett did not say anything else but his mind spoke up.
Well, you always forget. That's why I have to remind you a lot of things.
Eddy read through it for a while and looked up at Brett bravely.
"I don't wanna sign it." Eddy said sternly.
Brett was quiet for a moment, trying to process what Eddy had just said. He did not want to sign it? He was the one who proposed it! Brett was utterly confused.
"Huh? Why don't you want to sign it? You were the one who hired our lawyer and all. I thought you wanted this..." Brett started quietly. His knees were feeling like they were to give out, so he sat on the bed.
"I thought I wanted it. I don't wanna sign it now. Tell the lawyer I'll just pay her for all the trouble." Eddy said confidently.
"What about the other you love? You can't leave her hanging like that! It's unfair for her! She waited for you and-" Brett was cut off by Eddy's finger shushing him.
"You sound like you're the one who wants the divorce now..." Eddy whispered as he moved his body closer to Brett.
"I don't... But this is for you and your love. I know I'm getting in the way. I'm sorry for making her wait because I was being selfish..." Brett apologized. "Don't worry about Sofia, she understands and she wants to live with you if that's okay." Brett added.
"Brett, please stop talking for a while and listen to me..." Eddy pleaded, lifting Brett's head up to look at him eye to eye. "Don't apologize for all this mess I caused... I should be the one apologizing to you. I'm sorry for putting you through all that and I hope you could forgive me..."
"Eddy, it's not your fault! It's not your choice who you fall in love with and fall out of love for-" Brett cut.
"Love, listen..." At that Brett stayed quiet. "I don't want to sign the papers because I still want to be with you. I vowed myself to you and it would be unfair if you were the only one who kept that vow. I cut all ties with her, she does not deserve someone like me. You do not deserve a man like me. I don't even know if I could even be called a man.
Brett, all I'm saying is that it isn't fair for you. I was ready to walk out of your life to be a good man for someone else when I didn't even try to be a man with the family I had built with you. How could I be a good man for someone else if I was never enough of a man in the first place?
I always made you wait and you never even complained. I never heard you complain about how exhausted you were or how I wasn't meeting your needs when you were going beyond mine. The only time you made me wait was not even for you but for our daughter..."
Brett was now crying but he still did not speak.
"I love you... I do not know what in my mind thought that I didn't but I always did. I always do and I always will. I will not sign the papers because I want to give myself another try in being the man that will meet your needs.
But if you really don't wanna anymore, I will sign it without disagreement." Eddy finished, looking at Brett.
Brett was shaking now, he was crying all the tears that he never let fall. Eddy was not the one who took him in his arms and comforted him. The moment he calmed down a little, he spoke up.
"Eddy, please don't leave... I wanna give you another chance. You don't have to ask for forgiveness, I've already forgiven you... Just please, catch me this time when I fall for you again." Brett said against Eddy's neck.
Eddy cried with him and that was the moment that they were back, stronger than ever.
bonus:
Brett and Eddy were sitting in their rocking chairs. Their hairs were gray and their hands adorned with green veins protruding. Their left fingertips filled with callouses and their left ring fingers occupied with rings. They wore it so much that if they took off the rings, there will be indents in their skin, signifying where the rings always sat.
One of their younger grandchildren asked them about the secret to a long lasting marriage.
"Forgetting problems..." Brett said with his raspy voice, chuckling quietly as Eddy looked at him with a sad look.
"You told me your were never gonna beat me up about that, Bretty!" Eddy exclaimed.
"Forgetting problems?"
"He forgot we were going to sign divorce papers so he didn't!" Brett exclaimed, clutching his stomach due to the loud laughter. Their grandchildren laughed along and Eddy did so after a while.
Their grandchildren hear this story already but Brett started:
"It was before Christmas when..."