NÁNHÁI

1 3 n e e t r i h t

| T H I R T E E N |

carrots and the wound

"Why do you want to give him Daddy's clothes?"

Xiao Zhan's tone was low, almost as if the one he was questioning wasn't Yian but himself, he watched as the boy without a word walked to his closet and looked back at him, "Gege is cold Papa, we need to give him clothes" he repeated.

The older sighed, visibly tensed, he walked over to where his son was, opened the closet doors, and quietly waited for Yian to pick something out, the closet had two sections, Yian's clothes were obviously back in his own room but in the two different sections were two different types of clothes, one side had Xiao Zhan's own while the other no doubt was a bit too foreign, the clothes on the latter section were two sizes bigger than his own, they were 'Daddy's' clothes.

Yian was just 3 when he had first asked the other about his Dad, he had probably been curious, very curious at that. When kids had both their hands tightly gripped by two, one of his would always be free, always be cold, and always just lonely.

Xiao Zhan couldn't tell him the truth nor did he have the heart to lie but he couldn't call it off, could he? so just as expected the man had gone over to say, "He's not here, we need to wait for him. After you grow a little older, Daddy will come find you, hmm?", he had absolutely no clue what it was that he had blurted out, his words were full of hope and even more so of yearning, he wouldn't admit it, he just wouldn't but maybe the him of back then had somewhere, just somewhere expected Daddy to eventually come find him, find them.

Ever since then, not one shopping day had gone without Yian asking his Papa to buy an extra pair of clothes, and maybe not by coincidence the clothes chosen would always be two sizes bigger.

It was heartbreaking to see his son look forward to someone who would probably never come back but what could he do, he didn't want to strike down his kid's happiness, he didn't want to hurt him and if lying was the only way out, he'd obviously just choose so.

"Papa, what about this?"

Yian had taken out a black hoodie with something that looked like a pair of khaki pants, Xiao Zhan lowered his body to get the other's hair out of his face, "Um, go give it to him", he said. 

Yibo had been waiting for what felt like hours, he looked over at the half-open door that soon flung wide, Yian was finally out. Unlike what he had expected the boy actually had brought him clothes to wear, holding the outfit up in his own hands, Yibo couldn't help but look back at the open door, had Xiao Zhan really given out his clothes for him to wear? the least he had expected was to be thrown out, wasn't this a little too shocking to be true?

The man hesitated for a few seconds before saying, "but, these probably won't fit me"

Who would have known better than himself that Xiao Zhan's clothes wouldn't fit him, despite being taller, the older's build was way smaller than his own.

"They'll fit, those are Daddy's clothes" Yian almost yelled, excitement oozing out of his voice.

Countless questions knocked into the man's head, as if everything around had turned as still as himself, he had almost forgotten how to breathe.

Yian had his eyes on nothing but Yibo, like every other kid he was expecting some sort of reaction but far goes getting a word out, the man wasn't even giving him a nod. He had been so excited to have the other wear the clothes he had chosen out so carefully but seeing Yibo visibly dull, the boy soon looked away, he was a bit disappointed, in that moment of dejection, he mumbled, "Papa and I always buy clothes for Daddy so when he comes home, he can wear them" He paused, "Gege, do you not like them?" He asked, voice a little louder.