window; jschlatt

ego

"LISTEN DUDE, I DIDN'T MEAN TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING WINDOW," i calmly explain, standing on my tiptoes to reach the taller man. i poke a finger into his chest and stare daggers into him, "the fucking landlord wants me to pay for it, but i'm really strapped for cash. so you can't either be the douchebag who leaves a lil petite girl like me homeless, or you can tell the landlord it's fine and pay for it yourself like the big strong man you are." i poke him one more time before shrinking down to my usual size, and adjusting my coat around my shoulders.

"well–" he starts and then pauses, exaggerating his thoughts as he taps his finger to his lips, "it's fucking freezing, it's in my office, and i haven't been making that much either." he continues to stare me down. if my ego was any smaller i'd just slump away and offer the money.

"well i don't know? kick me out to the streets," i grab my phone and dial a number, "call the landlord mr. i have an office! kick me out to the streets! do it!" i put my hand to my forehead as i thrust the phone into his chest. he grunts slightly and the gears start working in my head.

"or," i grin smugly and pull the phone back to me. i can get out of this, "you can stay with me," i stand on my tip-toes and touch his nose. he says no, i offered my hospitality, he'll feel like a douchebag if he kicks me out and makes me pay. if he says yes, i'm basically fucked and have to live with this douchebag until i can scrounge up enough cash to replace the window. he looks at me, confused, and then grins back.

"okay, let me pack!" he smiles and boops me back on the nose. i feel the colour drain from my face as he turns into his apartment, "also, you have an extra room too," he calls from inside the apartment. he's right, but no way i'm going to admit that.

it's used as a shitty lil office right now. papers are strewn about and it's uninhabitable. blythe sometimes stops in there to crash by making a little cot, but they're just able to survive since their own apartment's so shitty. nobody else could live in there.

i see the shattered window in the back through an open doorway. obviously i didn't mean to drop my plant hanger. i didn't know it was going to hook on a ledge and then swing directly onto his window. duh. i didn't then expect the landlord to call me five minutes later freaking out and telling me to figure it out. pretty unprofessional if you ask me.

i would've replaced it, but my twitch viewers don't really care about a 20-year-old college student who streams the fucking sims, but now they care about the dream smp and tommyinnit or whatever that kids name was. i lose 2k viewers everytime they go live. leaving me at a solid 1k. i can't even get a regular job, i cannot do fucking customer service. maybe i'll start an only fans.

i rest my face in my hand as i sit on the floor. whenever man downstairs is decided to take like fourty-billion hours to hurry up. i check my phone, seeing a few twitter notifications from my alt account getting responses.

"oh, yes," i jump out of my fucking asscheeks and then look up to see the man, "my names johnathon schlatt, but everyone calls me schlatt," i reach my hand up and scrunch my fingers. he grips my arm strongly and pulls my to my feet. i wipe my pants off and thwart any dust, and then reach my arm out.

"i'm clementine adair!" i shake his hand just as, um, someone taught me, "most people call me clem though. and by most i mean nobody." he nods and wheels out like three different suitcases and like 5 duffels.

"so, as i was packing," his accent is kind of hot, no no! shut the fuck up clementine! you have the same accent, you fucking narcissist. "i was thinking, we challenge eachother. i'm pretty competitive," he goes to pat his shoulder, but his hands are holding everything. i laugh a little.

"mmkay, how do we compete?" i cock an eyebrow, confused.

"first to leave the apartment for good. if i leave and move back to my apartment, i'll pay for the window and forgive you. if you kick me out, you pay." he says, his voice full of pride of the, honestly interesting, challenge he proposed.

"hmm, deal!" i go to grab a bag so i can shake his hand, but i feel myself crash against something hard and fleshy. schlatt's eyes widen in horror as the object i run into let's out a low and familiar groan. i recognize that voice. i hear it every fucking night.

𝐆𝐔𝐘𝐒
𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐅 𝐅𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐎 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇

𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐎 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 "𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂"