My Ex, The Idol

1

5 years ago...

"Please don't do this, Nini. Can't we just do the long distance? I love you so much." Lisa begged her girlfriend of two years, but best friend of six. "After everything we promised and meant to each other, you want to throw it away?!"

"I refuse to pass this opportunity! I had to beat 999 people for this audition, Lisa!" Jennie argued with the Thai. She had taken her to their special place in the park, the gazebo. Lisa assumed it was to talk about their last day in the 10th year, but that was far from it.

Jennie wanted to break up with Lisa.

She tried making it easy, sugar coating that she was dropping out of school for the training. As a 16 year old, she wanted this more than anything. She knew her love for the Thai would make her turn down the opportunity, but Jennie knew they were young and time would pass the heartbreak.

"I'm not telling you to! Take that chance and I'll support you! Yeah, you'll be two hours away from me but we have video chats for that."

Lisa knew this wouldn't make any difference. No matter how many solutions she could throw at Jennie, she knew her girlfriend, the girl she's been in love with for the last five years, was done.

She didn't want Lisa. She wanted this KPOP life with no strings left behind. Lisa would've never made her choose between her or her YG opportunity, she loved Jennie and only wanted to support her.

But the moment Jennie got the call back, the "wait ifs" took over her mindset. She was more scared if people found out she was lesbian, something South Korea wasn't too accustomed to yet. Much less, to a Thai foreigner.

Lisa always got hurt when she threw that at her, growing up with Jennie as neighbors since her family moved to Korea at the age of nine, never once did Jennie have a problem with her ethnicity.

Jennie was never malicious about it, but it was clear she didn't want a single flaw to be known about her when she became a trainee. She focused more on how to perfect herself as trainee, rather than stressing over exams and going on dates like they use to.

Once people at their school found out Jennie was accepted to YG, they all made it a point to tell Lisa everyday how Jennie would leave her and forget her once fame took over.

Lisa doubted them, never once believing them because she knew Jennie. She knew her Nini. She knew Nini loved her and that's all that mattered.

She couldn't careless if her girlfriend was mega star or a waitress at a diner, she was in love with Jennie.

But it was clear now, Jennie was more in love with being a trainee.

"I promise to make this easy for you. I won't write or text you. I'll delete my current social media and let you live your life."

"Jennie I don't-"

"It will be as if I never even was here. This is life, Lisa. I'm just doing something with mine. You should try it one day."

The words Jennie threw at her that moment left a scar in Lisa's heart as the girl who once looked at her in adoration and love, now annoyance in those feline eyes.

The eyes that never left hers as they made love on their second anniversary. Those eyes that would sing to her when she was having a rough day. Those eyes that never lied to her. So easy to read and so passionate you couldn't look away.

Those eyes that now walked away as if Lisa never meant anything to Jennie. With each step Jennie took, her heart broke and Lisa couldn't bear it.

True to Jennie's word, once Lisa got home and on her laptop, Jennie had deleted everything. She even hoped to see a farewell note, but she didn't even get that. She looked at her room, so many pictures and love notes from Jennie over the years.

Never had Lisa been so broken and so depressed. She vowed that moment she would never again let a woman, especially Kim Jennie, to make her feel like that.

Jennie POV

I couldn't believe I had the ability to walk away from her. I loved her so much, but I couldn't stop her from living her life while mine would be dedicated to training.

I wouldn't have time for Lisa. I wouldn't be able to visit her or see her everyday. We would make ourselves sad with this long distance relationship, I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't hold her back from experiencing life.

She would be happier without me, I hated how true those words sounded. I didn't want Lili to move on, but I also couldn't be selfish with her.

I'll never forget how I sang Coldplay's "Yellow" for my audition. Lisa's favorite color was yellow. The song described my heartbreak and the hate I would sure to be given from Lisa.

I didn't want her to hate me, but I also couldn't blame her if she did.

As soon as I got home, I held back tears as I deleted my social media. The photos of Lisa and I all over my timeline, but I remembered what life I'd be going into and how vicious people could be to her.

"I'm sorry baby," I cried into my hands, hating how empty my room felt as I packed all the belongings Lisa had given me. I was leaving them in the attic, all my personal belongings ready to be taken to YG entertainment later today.

I knew if I stayed any longer and saw Lisa, I'd run back and beg for forgiveness. I couldn't do that after I just broke her heart.

"Oh my baby," I heard my mom whine as she engulfed me in her arms. "Time will heal this. Lisa and you had something great, but that's life. You made a decision, give it all you got now. Do this for her or else, it was all for nothing."

"I love her so much, mom."

"I'm sorry baby." She kissed my head and let me cry it out until I felt like now was the time to leave. We took my boxes towards the car and I saw Marco coming out of the house.

He saw me and instead of a smile or even coming to give me a hug, he tightened his lips and shook his head. He got into the car and my heart sank even more as I looked up at Lisa's window.

I saw her mother look down at me, looking back and I noticed her face wince. She turned back to glare at me before roughly shutting the curtains to Lisa's window.

Whoever said success doesn't come without a price... wasn't lying.