When The World Ends

Chapter 10: Security Detail

"We should go home, they already said they'll give us a security detail," Spencer sounded truly concerned about me.

I shook my head. "We're still safer here."

"You'll get better sleep in your own bed."

"I'll get worse sleep if my children are in danger."

"Let the kids go home," Spencer took my hands into his lap. "Please."

I didn't answer, didn't look at him. I couldn't.

"(Y/N), please." He put one finger under my chin, making me look up at him. "Let's go home as a family."

His eyes were wide with hope and fear, the same look that a puppy had when upset. He knew I couldn't say no to him.

"Fine." I let him help me to my feet.

***

The drive home was quiet. The kids knew something was wrong; we'd already told them they were coming to work with us instead of going to school tomorrow, but they didn't cry or seem upset, just quietly nodded. It was eerie, and part of me wondered if Diana had ever been slightly scared of Spencer when he was that age; they seemed to know more than we told them, just like he did.

We'd had dinner at the office, so Spencer and I quietly helped the kids into their pajamas and to bed. We retreated to our room after meeting the agents assigned to us, quietly thanking them.

I stripped down and pulled on an old college sweater of Spencer's, while he chose to only wear boxers.

We climbed into bed and he moved to lay on my chest, my hands wrapped around his shoulders, fingers intertwined. His head rested between my breasts, hips settling between my legs, curled up like a child. It reminded me of our first night together, what felt like an eternity ago.

"Is it my fault Hotch is in danger?" Spencer whispered.

"Of course not, baby," I said immediately. "If anything, it's my fault, baby, you didn't cause this at all."

"Why would it be your fault?" He asked.

"Daniel's my ex, I'm the one who upset him. If I hadn't rejected him all those years ago, he wouldn't be coming after us now." I'd run over what I could've done differently so many times I immediately had an answer. "Hotch is in danger because of me."

"We all knew the risks when we joined the team," Spencer countered. "Remember what I told you on the first day?"

I laughed a little. "Of course I do."

"Hotch has been on the team longer than either of us, he knows the risks. He's trying to protect us." Spencer's hand ran down my chest, resting on my hip. "We're going to find them and it's going to be okay."

I tried to believe him.

***

I woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat. I couldn't remember the dream I'd just had, but Daniel's sick smile was burned into my eyes.

"You're safe, agents are guarding you," I whispered to myself. "Breathe, it's okay."

His voice echoed around me.

"Make me. Bitch."

"Knees, now!"

"Pathetic."

"I don't care."

I couldn't sleep; any time I closed my eyes, I saw him, felt the fear when he backed me against the wall. I didn't wake Spencer up, knowing he needed the sleep, but instead stared into the darkness for the rest of the night.