Once in a Lifetime (Valdemora Series #5)

Chapter 12

Buo na ang desisyon kong ayaw kong sumama. I just want to prioritize my needs first before going to that situation. Hindi ko rin naman mae-enjoy ang bakasyon kung puro pag-aaral ang nasa isip ko.

"Let's just talk some other—"

"Dahil ba sa pag-aaral ko sa abroad, ha?" He asked once again. Hindi na ako hinayaan pang tapusin ang sinabi. "Is that why you're getting upset now?"

"Yes," agaran kong sagot. "You have lots of time to say that to me but you chose to hide it. For what? Para masorpresa na lang ako isang araw?" I have no time talking for long to him now. Iisa lang naman ang gusto kong malaman at iyon ay kung bakit hindi niya man lang ako na-inform.

Of course, I need to know about it. I am not into long distance relationship and I swear, I can't handle that scenario if ever.

Mabuti sana kung sinanay niya ako, walang magiging problema.

He chuckled as if I said some joke. "Are you really serious? You won't let me study abroad for me to be able to be successful? Are you that selfish, Phoebe? You only think of what will be the ending of our relationship instead of supporting me on what I want?"

I gritted my teeth upon hearing that. Before he can say anything that can make my blood boil, my hands made a sound upon slapping his cheek. Namula iyon at tila naging hudyat iyon sa kanya na tumahimik.

I never slapped him for the entire months. Ngayon ko lang nagawa dahil hindi ko nagustuhan ang kanyang pananalita.

It was not right for me. Hindi naman ako ganoong tao kaya bakit niya ako aakusahan ng ganoon?

Isa pa, hindi naman ako galit. Inis siguro kasi ngayon ko lang nalaman ang tungkol doon.

"Ako? Selfish? Are you blind, Alonzo? Kung selfish ako, malamang sa malamang, buong buwan, magkasama tayong dalawa at mas iniintindi ko kung ano ba ang magiging itsura ng relasyon natin." I am not that kind of a woman. Patunay lahat ng pagiging suportado ko sa kanya sa kursong kanyang kinukuha. Though I want to be with him, to have a time with him, I chose to set aside all of those for his dreams, for his father's dream for him.

"Phoebe naman. That's just a week of vacation tapos hindi mo man lang maibigay sa akin?" he asked again.

"I know, pero katulad mo, may mga priorities din ako. We can do that some other month so why rush anything?"

"Tss. I don't know what I will gonna do with you," mahina nitong sambit. Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko.

Wow. I didn't imagined him being like that. Parang sa ganoon lang, hahantong sa ganito ang magiging usapan namin?

"What, Alonzo? Can't you just support me? Iyon din naman ang ginawa ko sa'yo, ah? I supported you with all I can! Hindi kita kinulit na magkaroon ng oras para sa akin kasi alam kong busy ka sa pag-aaral, sa pag-abot ng pangarap mo. And now that I'll cancel the vacation for my needs, ikaw ang magagalit sa akin? Who's the selfish between us, huh?" tanong ko sa kanya.

I don't want to have a fight with him now. Mas lalong lalaki ang gulo at madadagdagan lang pareho ang inis naming dalawa. I just can't let him be more mad now. Ayoko.

"And you're asking me back that question. Fine then. I'll study abroad. And that's my decision. I hope you'll still support me?" Kumpara kanina, medyo mahinahon na ang kanyang boses ngayon.

There's a small pang of pain appeared inside me. Dahil alam kong kapag tuluyang nagdesisyon na ito tungkol doon, alam ko ang kahahantungan.

And that's more painful. Iyon ang katotohanan na ayokong magpapadalos siya ng desisyon kasi may kaakibat na kalalabasan ang lahat. Hindi pa man nangyayari ay nasasaktan na ako.