I met new people and threw old ones out of my life but the new people aren't helping me in any way. She keeps telling me things about my mental health, but I do not need any of the things she tells me. When I feel down, I either wanna talk to my second closest friend or no one. Obviously, I choose "no one" over anything else, but I'm that's because I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to talk to people. I don't know how to tell people that something is wrong with me, or what bothers me, because everyone I talked to left me. I think I'm just too heavy to handle. There is someone out there, who thinks she's not important to me, but that's a lie. She is important to me, but I just can't handle her bullshit and lies anymore. She never tells me the truth and I'm so fucked up by it, that I raged and told her to go to hell... I am kinda sorry for it, but I'm not at the same time. She has been shitty to me for months, almost two years now. We first started talking back in 2019 and now it's almost 2021. She was always full of bullshit, but I never noticed that. I just wanted her to tell me the truth and be honest with me, nothing more. I loved her more than anyone else. She made me question my sexuality and made me realize I am Pansexual. But now she thinks I hate her or something but I don't. I don't hate anyone. I'm just disappointed by her actions and I just wish she would've been more honest... I never wanted to end our friendship like this, but I did. I tried being reasonable with her, trying to be nice and have a talk, trying to fix the problem... Now everything is destroyed and my heart is shattered. I just wanted to be friends again. I miss the times in 2019 where we were happy.
