I can't take it any more. This fucking pain is just too much. I can't concentrate on shit. Everything I do feels so stupid and I always think I should just stop doing the stuff I do. My self made stuff looks stupid, the shit I buy looks stupid... I don't know what's wrong with me. I just wanna be happy again. But I can't, cause I'm always alone and no one understands how I feel. At least no one in my family does. They all seem blind to my tears and they only seem to notice my smile. They do not care I guess. But why would they? They think I'm happy, everyone does. But in reality, I'm breaking. I can't deal with all this pain and shit I've been through anymore. But therapy doesn't work. I can't talk about my problems, not with a professional, not with my friends/ family... No matter how hard I try to be more positive and open for new things, it comes always back to me, crying at night. I always play the strong girl, while in reality I'm not. I'm just not strong. I'm weak. I'm not okay with that, but I can't change it anyways. My life is a miserable short chapter in everyone's story. Everyone else has their own problems and I'm always there to help. But that's it. I'm not even a side character for them. I'm like an object they use and put away. At least that what it feels like. And I think, that is exactly the perfect way to describe it.
