When Did This All Start?- Tsukikage/Kagetsuki

Sadness

POV Tsukishima
Months had passed since the first day I kissed Kageyama. That day I just made out with him, but as days went on, I wanted- I needed more.

If someone ever told me that I'd loose my virginity with Kageyama Tobio, I'd say that they're insane but now, it's become a reality. We fuck. A lot.

I made it clear that for me, there were no feelings attached. Kageyama made it clear that he still loved me and couldn't change that. I didn't mind. I know it's an arse move of me to use Kageyama as a fuck buddy when he clearly loves me but, I enjoyed it.

I still didn't like him though. Even after these months I'd only say that he's a decent friend. I doubt I'll ever fall in love again. Yamaguchi was just to special.

I was walking with Kageyama to his house. To my surprise Kageyama and I are switches. I always assumed I'd top but when we're having sex it's like he's a different person.

We got to his house but we didn't have sex. He started speaking instead and I immediately felt guilty.

POV- Kageyama
Tsukishima has been using me for a while now. He's made it clear that there were no feelings attached. This broke me. I knew I shouldn't have agreed but I just wanted him to be happy. Every time we have sex I feel so passionate and my love just oozes out.

I've tried asking if we could go on dates but he just reminds me that we're just fuck buddies. At school he pretends that he doesn't know me, like I'm invisible and it hurts.

I wish we could be more, but fuck buddies is better than nothing... right? At least that's what I though but today at school I saw Tsukishima making out with a random girl behind the school. I'm not even a good enough fuck buddy for him?

I walked him to my house but not to have sex. I was going to talk to him.

POV- Tsukishima
"I can't be fuck buddies with you anymore, I'm sorry, I tried really hard hoping that you'd be happy eventually. I know you always reminded me that we'd never be together but you got to remember that I still love you. I saw you making out with that girl behind the school and then it hit me. I'm forcing myself into your life when you don't want me. I'm sorry. I won't bother you anymore. Please get out."

I was speechless. I felt super guilty. I completely ignored his feelings. Actually no- I used his feelings to my advantage. I stood there frozen before obeying his wishes and walking out. He was in tears. I wanted to hug him but I knew I was in now right to.

I got home feeling like shit. Not only did I get heartbroken, I broke someone else's heart, then shattered it even more.

POV- Kageyama
Tsukishima walked out of the door and I crumbled to the floor in tears. I've done it now. Tsukishima is no longer a part of my life. He's gone. I'm alone once again.

I really loved him. If it wasn't for the tiny bit of logical thinking my brain posses, I'd still be his fuck buddy until he found someone else to love.

I was foolish. I'm so done with this. Why couldn't he just love me. It's because of my face? My body? Then I'll change it. From now on I'm not eating and I'm wearing make up. I will become enough for Tsukishima Kei.