Paris In The Rain [h.s]

41

But mainly I held in my pain.

Pain that was caused by Harry and the way he held Maria so tightly in his arms. The way he whispered in her ear while he glared at me as if I was the worst thing in his life at the moment. The way he blamed me for everything and touched me so harshly it was as if I was just a piece of trash he couldn't seem to get rid of fast enough.

But then there was the way he broke when I suggested that he wanted me to leave him. His eyes dulled and started to fill with so much tears I was sure there would be an ocean of them. It was the way he voice cracked and how he told me he loved me.

And even if I wanted to, I couldn't hate Harry. I couldn't leave him even if someone payed me to do it. Someone could offer me the world and I would refuse. I'd simply run back into Harry's arms and cling to him as if he didn't just break my heart into a million pieces.

Because Harry was the one for me. He was it for me. He could break my heart a thousand times and I'd still come running back to him each and every time. All because I was in love with him.

"God, you stupid bitch," I mutter under my breath.

"What was that, miss?" The driver asks me and I quickly snap my head up to meet his questioning eyes in the mirror.

"Nothing. Sorry. Just talking to myself," I smile kindly at him before averting my gaze and going back to staring at my lap.

What I wrote in that journal the night of my nightmare no longer mattered. Those words would never see the light of day and Harry's eyes would never get the chance to read such a heartbreaking note. I was stupid for ever thinking I could follow through with such a thing.

But Harry had told me to leave...and I wasn't one for sticking around when I wasn't wanted. Hence, the main reason for my anger and unhealthy choice of holding in my pain.

Fiddling with my fingers, my heart lurches as I feel my once occupied finger now bare and empty.

"Oh, fuck," I gasp, bringing my hand up to stare at my ring finger.

The ring. I completely forgot to put on the ring.

"Miss, are you sure everything is alright?" The driver asks me once again.

How could I forget to put on the ring? The ring I promised Harry I would never take off. The ring I promised to wear forever.

It was now sitting on the nightstand from where I took it off that way I wouldn't lose it in the process of my angry packing.

So just like that, my anger turned into pain and sadness, and those thunderclouds started pouring rain. The raging crimson sea calmed to an aimless drifting and my boat started to sink faster.

The tears fell from my heartbroken eyes and my heart longed to be with Harry once more. My crimson sea turned into a gloomy shade of grey while the waves started to drift by me as if they were lost. As if they had no meaning in this world other than to sit in this wide expanse of water for all of eternity.

"C-Can you turn around?"

"But we're only ten minutes away from the air-

"Please. Just turn around and take me back."

Take me back. Take me back to the night we met. When I didn't know what I was getting myself into and was just starting to fall for the beautiful artist who couldn't see his own beauty.

When the wine stained his lips red and a pretty pink blush tinged his cheeks.

When his viridescent eyes sparkled with excitement and amusement as they watched me try to form words and sentences.