~BSD oneshots~ [REQUESTS OPEN]

If not for you, then for me (Akutagawa x reader)

You felt like a complete failure. The fact that you were a member of such a strong organisation as Port mafia didn't really help too much. The organisation was strong, but you were not. The only reason they kept you were your sniping abilities and your ability, which made people able to say nothing but truth when you made eyecontact with them. It was good for getting informations that these people would never say. But that didn't really make you feel much better, you still hated yourself more than anybody else. The only reason why you didn't commit suicide yet was your fear of death.

And one more thing was not mentioned yet. You also had pretty strong feelings for Akutagawa. You were having a lot of missions together before, but rigt now there were not too many of them anymore. You didn't understand yourself. Why did you feel like this? Why him? Why can't it be somebody who care about you at least a little bit?

It was another day at work, nothing really interesting, just tons of work in your office. But then, your phone rang. You looked at it and saw Mori's number, he was calling you probably because he didn't want to leave his own office to talk to you. You picked up, he only told you to come to his office as soon as possible. And so you did.

The moment you opened the door to Mori's office, you noticed that he's not alone there. And now you didn't mean Elise-chan. Akutagawa was there as well. You were surprised and nervous at the same time. Your heart was beating too fast and you felt like he can hear it. You haven't see him for such a lonh time.

Inside you felt like one big mess, yot still you had to keep your cool and pretend not to mind it. You wanted to impress him after all. He looked at you and you felt the blush crawling on your cheeks. You gave him a tiny smile, hoping so much to see him smiling back at you.

But he didn't. He just turned around to your boss.

Now you were leaving. The talk was not too long, Mori only told you two about a new mission you'll have together. You were happy and nervous at the same time, it's been a long time since you and him had a mission together.

Now you were walking alone byck to your office and the corridor seemed way too big and quiet - except for your footsteps. And not just yours, you didn't realise that somebody is behind you for a while, but now you couldn't not notice it anymore. His footsteps were getting louder and louder as he was getting closer to you, he walked pretty fast.

,,(Y/N). Wait," You heard the voice you didn't hear in such a long time. It was him.

You felt so full of hope. He wanted to talk to you. What if he has the same feelings for you as you heve for him? What will you say if he's going to confess to you right now?

,,We should prepare a plan for that mission" All your hopes disappeared. ,,Just stay in your office a bit later today, I'll come about 6 PM." He said before you were able to answer, then left you there.

You felt so hopeless again. He didn't even let you talk? What if you would have any plans for that time? He doesn't care. Or maybe he just knows that you don't have any. Does even him realise how boring your life is?

It was the evening, you were waiting foe Akutagawa in your office. He should come every minute. It took you some time to prepare yourself so you will look as pretty as you can, yet still you were not truly happy for yourself. You didn't feel like you're good enough - not for him.

You looked at your watch. It was 6:07, he still was not coming and didn't even call you or sent message. What if this all is just a stupid joke? What if he will not come, he just wanted to make fun of you because he knows how much you love him? Will he even bother coming? But why would he? He can handle this whole mission without you after all. He never really needed you, even worse - you felt like a burden to him. He always had to save your life.

You felt hot tears running on your cheeks. This all was just hopeless. You couldn't stop crying and with every second you realised a little bit more how much you want all this to end. You were not scared of dying anymore. Not, when you had to live in a reality where you can nothing but suffer.

You took your gun. ,,Now or never."

You shot ne bullet in your chest, then your legs were not able to hold your weight anymoreand you fell to the ground. New streams of tears started running from your eyes. This pain was so terrible. But it still didn't hurt as much as the reality that-

You sudenly notised something. You were no longer alone in that room and even when your vision was getting blurry, you recognised that one face looking at you. ,,(Y/N). Why?" It was him. But his voice was not cold at all. ,,Because... I... love.. you." Now every word was so hard and painful for you. This all will end soon.

He wiped your tears away and looked into your eyes, then placed a quick kiss on your lips. Then he lifted your tiny body and whispered.

,,(Y/N), you can't die just now. Hold it up, please. If not for you, then for me. I already lost too much."

But you didn't. He saw as your eyes closed, he heard your last words and your last breath as well.

Ok, I just felt like writing something like this, needed to vent my emotions.

Also pls tell me who u want in a next chapter. (prefer characters that were not here yet)