Too Much

Predictable

Why had he done that?

Maybe Kaleb thought he could have something. Maybe he thought that if he didn't know the outcome this time, it just wouldn't happen.

That by some miracle, he could let destiny lead him down a path where he wouldn't be left behind.

Where "forever" could mean something.

For the first time he didn't want to predict what would happen. For the first time he took the back seat, just like his father and all the other idiots he once loathed, and prayed fate wouldn't do him wrong.

In the end, Kaleb became predictable, so predictable it made him cry.

Above everything, he should've predicted this ending the fastest.

Perhaps he was the naïve one all along.

***

Dimitri sits in his room with his head between his knees, doing his best to cradle the pain away.

He's not crying. Instead, he's choosing to suffer, caught in an unhealthy loop of over exertion and malnourishment.

It's been over half a year since he's turned 18 and every square inch of his body is throbbing and swelling with pain. His organs are shriveled and his muscles are aching.

He couldn't help but let an exhausted chuckle leave his body. Normally, the golden retriever would be keening over and rolling around like a baby, complaining about his "tummy ache" to his best friend. But without Kaleb, his blooming dandelion personality has dulled into a bland cotton ball of seeds, pieces of him being blown off with the wind. Countless of wishes being swept away as wasted potential.

Even his golden mane is but a mess of string atop his head, tangled together like a ball of pale yellow yarn. His lightly sun kissed skin deteriorating to a sickly white. Leaf green eyes seemingly changing with the seasons by turning a muted brown.

Dimitri doesn't know how to function without his other half. He's been getting angry and frustrated fast. Sadness consuming him until it's his only state of being.

As the boy stigmatizes in his own self loathing, he clutches to a tiny box with blue ribbon like a lifeline, like if he rubbed it a genie would appear and grant him his greatest desires.

He had tried to chase after Kaleb that day.

He followed the smell of his beautiful coconut scent through blurry eyes.

Dimitri hounded his trail, running around every corner, every gateway, every store, park, house, that Kaleb's ever stepped foot in.

Dimitri ran in circles for hours, trying to grip onto his last shred of sanity. Kaleb's essence lingered everywhere Dimitri went, reminding him this was a fruitless effort and that there was nothing he could do.

He felt like a damned puppy who lost their owner. It was so humiliating to walk back to his house empty handed after hours of searching.

What's worse is everyone seemed to understand.

No one questioned his behavior, they all looked at him like they knew what was going on even before he did. He hated it. He hated it so much.

Even now, in his own room, he's still intoxicated by that daunting smell. That smell that always seemed to recline in the back of his pallet, prickling his senses like an itch that wouldn't scratch.

He inhales, letting his mind grow fuzzy and imagining himself engulfed in Kaleb's embrace. He could only imagine how much more intense this wonderful smell would be if Kaleb was here.

But all he has left is a birthday present and a ghost that won't leave.

"Dimitri," his mother calls from his door for the umpteenth time, Dimitri hadn't even noticed. "It's your shift, sweetie, I can get you a substitute if you're not feeling up to it."

This was something about his mom Dimitri was starting to hate. Her smothering empathy was choking him, basically water boarding. Being treated like glass was not something the strong alpha was comfortable with.

He needed to remember he was an alpha. He was born strong, born to be a leader. He's spent the past 7 months fussing over something that he could never fix even if he wanted to.

Dimitri sat up from his bed and headed out his door.

Unpredictable to him, he wouldn't be returning through it any time soon.