Happy Merry Everything (Charlie Barber)

I'm Scared.

There is was again. Panic, but not panic about seeing Charlie. Panic about Charlie not wanting to see you. About bailing on you. About him realizing how absurd this is and how he doesn't want any part of it. You stared down at your phone reading the messages over and over. You were going to show up, have a drink, and he wasn't going to come. You could feel it. You just knew Charlie wasn't coming. He was absolutely, without a doubt, going to stand you u--

*RING*

You jumped. Charlie was calling. You slid to answer and heard his voice before you could even say hello. Your name had never sounded so good. 

"If you really thought, even for a moment, that I wasn't coming-- I'm disappointed in you."

You heard the tremble in your voice.

"H-how did you know?"

"Because I know you. I'll see you soon, okay?"

__ __

A short while later, you made it to Blueprint. Charlie really sold you on this place when he initially made the recommendation and told you it wouldn't be an issue if you wanted to get dinner elsewhere after drinks. Just in case you both decided to share something, you peeked at the menu on the way over. You wound up paying for your own cab since he wasn't there yet, but you didn't mind. In fact, you kind of looked forward to him trying to fight you about letting him pay you back.

You walked inside. It was dimly lit. Romantic. It was also packed. You realized in that moment Charlie could be anywhere and your breath caught in your chest. You needed to calm your nerves. What you needed was a drink. You found an open seat at the bar and sat down before looking at the menu. While you did, you opened your clutch to check your phone for an update from Charlie. Nothing. You glanced at the door of the restaurant to see if anyone was coming in. Not a soul. Where was he? 

You settled on a dark and stormy. You needed something strong enough to take the edge off, but something you knew you'd nurse. Your heart was racing. The alcohol would help. He was coming, right? 

Just breathe. You went over his words again.

"If you really thought, even for a moment, that I wasn't coming-- I'm disappointed in you."

The bartender made quick work on your drink, for which you were extremely grateful. However, your first sip was a little too ambitious. Whoops. You realized you needed to text Charlie. In the midst of all of the anxiety you were feeling, you had totally forgot to let him know you were there. 

You pulled your phone out again and began typing up a message. 

You: Hey, I'm here. I'm not sure if you're here or not, but I'm here. I'm sitting at the bar. I can order a drink for you if you want. Either way, I wanted you to know I made it safely. 
You: This place is adorable by the way. 

No sooner than you hit send, your phone started vibrating in your hand. Charlie. This was it. There was no turning back now. 

"Hello?"

"If you have any desire to run, now's the time," he teased. 

The excitement of it all was too much. You looked around, but didn't see anyone else on their phone. It was a little loud inside and you hadn't brought your earbuds with you so you turned back around, facing the bar as you did your best to hear every word. 

"Are you inside?"

"Maybe."

"Charlie. Don't tease me, please."

He knew exactly what he was doing. 

"Where are you?"

He hadn't seen your text. Of course he hadn't. He was walking up to the restaurant when you sent it. 

"I'm sitting at the bar."

The butterflies in your stomach were putting on the performance of a lifetime. 

"And you're absolutely sure you want to do this?"
"Yes."
"Today?"
"Charlie."
"Because once we do this, we can't take it back. Not now, not ever."

 You wanted to see him. The need to see him, all of him was overwhelming. 

"I wanna do this."

"And you're at the bar?"

It felt like torture, the waiting. The person beside you got up from their stool and you glanced down at the empty seat. 

"Yes," you said, unaware that you were nodding when you answered. 

"I see you."

Tears threatened to fall once more as you realized he had probably been watching you the entire time . You were always in view with your phone to your ear. That's why he called. 

"Charlie--I--"

He said your name with an affection unlike any other---but this time it wasn't coming through the speaker.

"Turn around."