Rant/Vent Book....

Mini Chapter

Sooooo....

I haven't seen her in like three weeks because my school closed and whatever

But anyway, I go back tomorrow and I'm low-key freaking out...

Like, I thought it would be good to clear my head so I can move on

Not seeing her made me want her that much more...

Even though I have no chance I am in way too deep

And while I wish life was a fairy tale where she could come in and sweep me off my feet, life doesn't exactly work like that...

I've read fanfics and watched movies while thinking about her

(A big one being GxG on shots by aubreysbetch so go check it out, it's super good)

I've made my love intrest look like her in games.

I've ranted non-stop to my friends while not being able to get her out of my head

My mother thinks I should move on

And while I'm aware it's not healthy to still he trailing after her...

I can't really choose who I love

My best friend bandaidismy_otp (idk if she's on Wattpad anymore but oh well) about it and she says that maybe my crush is going through something or hasn't come out..

But it could have been a lie that she wasn't ready to spare my feelings

I mean, she's gorgeous, who wouldn't want her?

Hell, she got asked out at the exact same time I gave her my note.

And there was my dream where she liked somebody else...

I'm not sure what my brain was trying to tell me with that one....

I know I shouldn't really be looking since my first relationship fell through

And most people don't do young relationships and she might he one of those people

But how do I know I have a shot?

Because as much as I hate to admit it, I still want her.

I want to get to know her and be by her side.

But it might be hard and awkward being with her and not being able to have her...

But this is stronger then my last relationship, I liked her while I was dating the other person...

(They also liked someone else so we really should have taken the hint earlier)

But I repressed my feelings to focus on my partner. Who ended up not being everything I wanted

I kinda thought our relationship wasn't good but I was so in love with love that I didn't care.

I feel weird talking to one of my friends about this because they're also her friend and they could just be telling this to her.

And I'm still trying to impress her and look for her in our shared online classes.

But I don't know....

What do you guys think?