A/B/O || Jinkook

57. Time out

Eventually Seokjin comes and sits down with me in the couch. Thankfully he's not sitting on me this time but it's still not too far away either. I look at him when he puts his hand on my knee.

"I've noticed you've been looking a bit out of it," he says in a careful tone. "Is it because of what I said yesterday? I'm sorry if I was too forward. I get that you should be taking it easy but I couldn't resist it when I suddenly had you close to me again. It made me lose control for a moment."

"Oh, it's OK," I say, not even being able to look him in the eyes while I do so. It's embarrassing to think back at it and I shouldn't do it either way since it gets me excited. I know the friend in my pants wants some action, but I can't give it to him. I barely got my life back in the first place, so I don't want to lose it that quickly again. 

He rubs my knee for a bit while we listen to the TV in the background. He's definitely sensing that I'm up to something. 

"I'll try to control myself, so we could try sleeping in the same bed again if you'd like," he says. "Being squished between Jimin and Taehyung won't work in the long run."

"Sharing with you won't work either, Hyung. I'm about to get hard from you just touching my leg."

He stops and looks at me with big eyes and despite what I just told him he doesn't remove his hand. I see him contemplating on what to do and in the end I remove his hand myself. I have to preserve my sanity somehow. 

"I'll get myself a new bed and then I'll stay with Namjoon and Hoseok-hyung for a while. I understand that you want me close to keep an eye on me and for your own sake as well, but honestly I don't think spending every moment with you is going to be helpful to me. Even right now I'm struggling a bit just to look at you. You're so pretty it's insane. I can't fully relax with you around."

Thankfully he doesn't seem angry by that at all. 

"You want me to keep my distance?" he asks. 

"Hyung, I've been thinking," I say while nervously playing with the ring on my hand. 

"Oh no."

"W-what do you mean oh no?"

"It's never good when you think."

I can't help but to snort at him and thankfully he eases up with a little smile. 

"I know I should stop overthinking but this is something that required a lot of thought. Hoseok-hyung said that in order for me to recover it could be good if the two of us... um... weren't together anymore? B-but like, not permanently! Just for a little while. I very much want to be with you, but it's not good for my health and also I need to get things sorted in my own life. I know you love me and my heart will be healing even if we're not with each other every minute. So yeah. What do you think?" 

I glance at him for his reaction and his face doesn't tell much. He just looks at me for a while as he thinks about it.

"Exactly what would it entail if we went on a break?" he asks.

"I dunno... We'd just be friends I guess? Like we used to be before I presented as an alpha. No kissing or hugging that could make me excited. You needn't pay any more attention to me than the others."

"But you've always been my favorite."

"Woah, really?!"

"Nah. Actually Yoongi was my favorite for a long while. It took a while before I even got to know you properly since you never said anything to me."

I'm a little pissed that Yoongi was his favorite but I can understand why. They were roommates while I was shy as hell, especially in front of Seokjin. Took several months before I started opening up to him.