Three Days Without

Part 4

Hey everyone, 

I haven't updated in a while, but I'm still here! I was wondering if I could get two votes and one  comment, that's when I'll update again. Thanks so much!!

<3 Savannah

PS please do not use the email address, I have no idea if its real or not, thanks!

CHARLIE, 6 YEARS PRIOR, DAY

‘What am I doing here? My wife at home all day, cooking, and cleaning, and taking care of Claire and Alice, and trying to work to support them. Then there’s me, the worthless one. Everyday I go out ‘job searching’ when I really go through one application process, go to a bar and get drunk, and then come home that night ‘turned down many times’ but smelling like a prostitute’s lips. But that amazing woman, my wife Emma, never says anything. I know she knows, but she cares about the kids and having enough money for them too much to deal with her emotions. So again, I ask, What am I doing here? Sitting on the ground on the corner of 26th and Cedar st, Miami, Florida. Nothing. I'm doing nothing. I love my family, I really do. But am I holding them back? Am I making it worse for them? I think so. I'm not sure. Claire. She’s so beautiful and talented. She inherited everything from her mother, nothing but her eyes are from me. Thank God for that. And then there’s Alice, my blonde-haired bundle of energy. She’s just like me and it makes me worried. She has to be more determined. Alice can't end up like me. What would I do without them? They are my pride and joy. But I'll have to learn to be without them because I don't deserve this perfect happy family when all I’m good for is getting drunk and swallowing pills. Emma will be fine, I know it. Or at least I hope she will. That woman is the most beautiful, smart, perfect person in the world. How in the hell did we get together? I used to be motivated, smart, caring, all those things. We met in college. Fell in love. Blah, blah, blah. I don't even know what happened from Yale to now. I graduated, got married, had kids. Lots of people do that, so why did I turn out like this? I guess I know what I need to do. But it will be so hard. I'll do it tonight. I just need to make sure Claire can find a way to me if she needs.’

CHARLIE, 6 YEARS PRIOR, NIGHT

I sneak into our room and put on some old jeans and a Tshirt, I grab some clothes and put them into a duffel bag. My bag goes by the door and I go to the girls’ room. Through the bookshelf until I find the book I want, The Hobbit, I read it to Claire every summer. As I pull out my pen and the book, my eyes fill with tears. I open the book to the back page and write:

“My darling Claire, I don't know when you will see this. But when you do, just know I love you. So much. You, your sister, and your mom. You all mean so much to me. You think I'm a horrible person for leaving, but if you ever want to ask me about it, or anything for that matter, you can. I hope I see you again someday when you have matured into the beautiful, talented woman I know you can be. I love you all. Goodbye.

Love,

Charlie XOXO

Charlie.x.mayes75@yahoo.com

I'll keep it forever. See you someday.”

‘As I sign the page a tear drips onto it and I know the stain will stay. I grab my things after putting the book back and step out the door with my head down, leaving the life I want so much, but have ruined through a lack of determination. I screwed it up for myself and am making life harder for the people I love. So I'm leaving.’ I take one sad glance back to the door and get into the taxi cab, off to an unknown city with an unknown future.

CLAIRE

Sitting in Daymon's bathroom. Just wanting to reach into the cabinet where I know there will be a razor. ‘No. Stop thinking about it. If I leave it alone it will go away. Just stop. Now. Why do I keep doing this to myself? OK. I'm leaving the bathroom, out through the hallway and back to The Cave. He's still sitting on the couch staring at the ceiling.’

"Daymon, are you ok?" I whisper as I sit next to him. His head turned slightly to face me

"Claire, why are you still here in dropout Florida. You can do anything you want in the world. You are so talented and smart and beautiful, you could honestly do whatever you want. If you just got out of this town." ‘I look back in shock. Unable to realize what he just said. Did he call me beautiful? And smart and talented? No, that's not possible.’

"I-" I stammer, thinking of what to say "Did you just call me beautiful?" I say shakily. He chuckles and looks back to the ceiling.

"Yes, I did just call you beautiful. You don't realize it, but you really are. You think so poorly of yourself when really you are so outstanding" he trails off and leaves me for a loss of words. ‘I'm just sitting there looking straight at him. How could he think that. Its not true. It can't be. He can't think of me like like that. Does that mean he just thinks I'm pretty or does he like me?’