I Love You ~ Mark and Amy

ONE

Amy smiled a bit, pulling Ethan into a room, away from Mark, to talk about "Video Ideas". It didn't really faze Mark, he just thought that they were talking about, well, video ideas.

"Is it.. Real?" Ethan asked softly as Amy placed a pregnancy test in his hand. Amy nodded a bit, smiling. "You're pregnant?" He whispered.

"I'm eleven weeks!" Ethan smiled wide, taking her into a hug. "I've been trying to figure out how to tell Mark. I want to surprise him, but.. How? You can't surprise the man!"

"What about a gift? Just wrap a box and inside are baby booties or something." Ethan suggested. Amy nodded slightly. "He's going to be excited, regardless. Even if he isn't so-called 'surprised'.

Later that night, Amy came home from Target with a box that she clumsily wrapped in the car. She walked up to Mark's studio, knocking slightly and peeking her head in. Mark turned around, smiling at her.

"Hey, baby! What's up?" He asked with a smile on his face.

"Are you busy?"

"No, not really," He responded, "Why?" Amy smiled, walking in and holding out the box. "... It's not our anniversary.. Am I forgetting something? Was I supposed to get you something?"

"No, no. I wanted to be nice! Can't I be nice?" Mark cocked his eyebrow a bit, looking at her while he took the box.

"... Okay?" Mark smiled again, taking off the very poor wrapping job. He opened the box and was immediately confused. "Babe, these won't fit me," He giggled, pulling the baby booties out of the box. "Is this a video idea? Was it Ethan's idea?"

"No. Look underneath the tissue paper." Mark nodded, pulling out the tissue paper to see the positive pregnancy test. He slowly took it out, reading it over and over again.

"Is this real?" He asked, looking back up at Amy. She nodded softly. Mark smiled, tears welling up in his eyes as he looked back at the test. He read it over and over, so happy his eyes were not deceiving him. He stood up quickly, the box falling off his lap and the test out of his hands, taking Amy into the biggest hug he could. "We're having a baby," He smiled, holding her as tightly as he could.

"I know," She smiled a bit, "we just... can't give our hopes up. I've lost one at 20 weeks. We're not in the clear." Mark nodded a bit. He sighed, kissing the top of her head. 

"It's going to be okay, I know it." 

***

"So, how are you feeling?" The ultrasound tech asked, helping Amy lift up her shirt a bit and tuck it into her bra to keep it clean. 

"Alright, I guess," Amy sighed as she looked at Mark. "I'm pretty nervous, to be honest. I'm just scared I'm going to lose another one." The UT nodded, squeezing a bit of gel onto her stomach. Amy tried to relax, gripping Mark's hand as they both watched the monitor, watching a small baby appear. Amy smiled a bit, noticing it slowly moving. 

"There's the heartbeat," The UT smiled, pointing out the small black flicker. "The baby looks good," She smiled at Amy, "I'll clean you up and the doctor will be in shortly with your bloodwork and some information for you guys to go through." 

After thirty minutes of waiting, both Mark and Amy look up when the doctor walks in. 

"Okay," He smiled a bit, sitting in the chair. "Everything is looking good! Everything is where it should be at this stage of pregnancy, however," Amy squeezed Mark's hand, "from the ultrasound, it does look like you have a thin cervix.. It shouldn't be a problem, but it could cause you to dilate prematurely. I'll get you onto some medications to hopefully prevent your cervix from dilating until it's safe to deliver." Amy nodded a bit. 

"What are the risks?" Mark asked. 

"Well, premature birth is the biggest, the amniotic sac could burst, which would lead to labor.." Mark sighed a bit, "I just want to make sure the baby comes safely and at a point where it can he healthy."

"Am I at risk of miscarrying?" Amy asked softly.

"I don't think so, but you are at risk for premature labor. You may give birth to a baby that's alive, but you may go home with their ashes."  

***

Mark walked into the bedroom and sighed, looking at Amy sitting on the bed staring at her hands. 

"Hey.. babe." Mark sighed, walking over to sit next to her. "You alright?" 

"Not really," she admitted, looking at him, "I just... if this one doesn't make it, I'm done. I-I don't have much more to give anymore. I feel burnt out.. so so burnt out." Mark sighed a bit, taking her into a hug. 

"I know, I am too." He said softly, "I don't like seeing you like this.. I really didn't think it was going to be this hard to have a baby." 

"Five years.. over 12 IVF fails, 3 miscarriages, one on a trip to Korea in the hotel bathroom.. it's just.. too much. I don't want to do more if we don't actually have this one. I'm done." Mark nodded. 

"Then we stop. We don't have to do more rounds.. nobody is making us do anything." Amy tears up a bit. 

"I just get to watch all my friends randomly get pregnant without having to fucking try." Mark sighed, wiping the single tear from Amy's cheek with his thumb. 

"I know it's hard to sit back and watch them, but that's their lives. We have our own and they don't have that bond that we have. We've been through so much shit with eggs not taking or outright losing the baby, it just made us stronger. They don't have that." Amy sighed, looking back down at her hands. 

"I just want to be a mommy." She sniffed, looking up at him. 

"I know you do.. I wish I could do that for you." 

***

Amy's eyes shoot open, waking her up from a dead sleep. She sits up, feeling a sharp pain radiate though her back and stomach. She freezes, almost going into a full-blown panic attack. She's only 24 weeks, the baby isn't viable to live outside the womb anytime soon. 

"Mark?" She cried out, shaking him, "Mark, I think I'm in labor." Mark sits up, still half asleep. 

"...What?" 

"I think I just had a contraction." Mark nods a bit, getting up. 

"...What do I do?" 

"We need to go to the hospital."