I made sure to plug in my headphones in before I stepped on the bus, even though I knew that no one was going to make the effort to actually talk to me. I've been taking the same bus to the other side of town for about five months, and the same people usually got on the bus.
I never managed to make any friends, let alone talk to anyone, but I didn't need anyone. I'm Jenn, but not many knew that nor would anyone try to figure me out. To be honest, they couldn't even if they bothered to try.
I made my way to my usual spot at the back of the bus, I saw the same faces as I have nearly everyday. Though they didn't even give me a single glance. I kept my head down as I finally reached the back and sat down.
I turned up the volume as my favorite song came on. I stared out the window, at the passing colors. But soon, The image of the tall birch trees and old fashioned lamp posts that stood in front of the park that I still hadn't bothered to learn the name of, become a blur, a mix of colors that, surprisingly, were unable to grasp my attention any longer.
All wanted, was to understand, I wanted an explanation. Why? This was a repeating question for me.
I wanted to know why I was unloved, My own mother didn't even seem to love me like a mother was supposed to, if she did, she sure didn't know how to show it.
am I really that boring? do I smell bad? oh god
(i hope i choke)
"Excuse me?" I heard a voice say beside me. crap.
I finally teared my gaze away from the bus window, removed my headphones and looked up.
In front of me stood a brown haired girl, with beautiful green brown eyes. I looked away for a second. I was confused, really confused.
Why is she talking to me? I'm pretty sure there's empty seats at the front of the bus, Is she going to like, mug me?
(I HOPE I CHOKE!)
Shut up Jenn, you're hurting yourself.
"What? um, yes?" I asked, my voice unsteady. Shit Jenn calm down. I felt like I was in the second grade having a Pokémon battle with a random kid in the school playground. Yeah, I was that lame.
(i hope i choke)
She giggled- giggled - " Is it okay if I sit here? or would you rather be alone? You looked like you were in deep thought, I don't want to disturb you." She smiled down at me. Oh god help me.
The bus took a sudden turn, I wasn't surprised. I basically knew this route like the back of hand. She- whoever she was, obviously was surprised by it, as she stumbled on her feet. I couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle at her facial expression, which caused her to put on a toothless smile as her cheeks flushed, from embarrassment I'm guessing. That was adorable.
"Are you going to answer my question anytime soon? You know before I fall on my ass and make an even bigger fool of myself?" She chuckled. stop doing that.
I felt my cheeks heat up, "Oh yeah sorry." I said to the stranger as I looked away. Pretty sure I've embarrassed myself enough. Jesus what was wrong with me today
She sat down in the seat next to mine as I stared out the window once again, losing myself in my thoughts.
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bYE xoxo gossip girl
IM RICE xx
