The Life of a Fake Boy || KuroKen Angst

2

Kuroo ran as fast as he could, which was pretty freakin fast since he's on the volleyball team. He hid in the bathroom and sat down in a stall. Kenma couldn't find Kuroo anywhere, he checked many places, like the roof, and all different parts of the school. Kenma never really showed that well but he absolutely loves Kuroo. It extremely worried him when he saw the scars, his best friend was suicidal and he had no idea. He felt so guilty for not noticing, he needed to help Kuroo even if it was the last thing he did.

Kenma had checked everywhere except for the bathroom. He walked in and heard quiet whispering coming from one of the stalls, he immediately knew who it came from. "Kuroo? Hey, I know you're in there" Kenma said as he knocked on the stall door where he hears the whispers coming from. Kenma sighed as the cries continued. "Can you open the door?" Kenma asked softly. The door pushed open to reveal a sad Kuroo. Kuroo wasn't feeling alright, he felt sick. Kenma hugged him tightly, but not too tightly as to where it hurt his cuts.

Kuroo was whispering to himself telling himself how stupid and dumb he was. He was so upset with himself that he started punching his wrist. It had multiple bruises, Kuroo liked the pain. "Kuroo" Kenma said softly. "It hurts me, to see you like this" Kenma said. "I'm sorry for making you worry, Kitten" Kuroo said. Kuroo hated it when Kenma was uncomfortable, hurt, or sad. But Kuroo couldn't just stop, it isn't that easy. The voices in your head manipulate you into hurting yourself and doing things you don't want to.

Normally Kenma hated it when Kuroo called him Kitten, but for now it was an exception. hey hugged for a little bit, Kenma was really upset with himself. He never noticed how badly his best friend was suffering. They both went back to morning practice even though there was only like, five minutes left. They changed into the school uniform and walked to class. Kenma wasn't focusing all of class. The scene replayed in his head all day. All of the scars that were on Kuroo's stomach. There was a variety of fresh cuts to month old scars. 

"Kozume. Kozume. Kozume!" His teacher called. Kenma flinched at the loud noise since he was so lost in thought. "Sorry, miss" Kenma said sheepishly. "Talk to me after class" She said sternly with a cold glare. Kenma looked down again. He wanted to pay attention, but couldn't. He didn't want to think about the scars. It was a horrifying sight, truly. The boy he knew all his life, to be going through such pain for so long. Do any of you know what it's like to say someone you love in so much pain? It hurts so bad, worse than whatever pain they're going through.

After Class

"Care to explain why you were ignoring me?" She said. "I'm sorry miss, I was just lost in thought" Kenma replied. "Don't let it happen again." She said. "You are dismissed." She said as she pointed towards the door. Kenma left the room feeling quite embarrassed. When he made it to the gym, almost everyone was already changed. Kenma thought about it, and he never really noticed anything wrong with Kuroo. He never noticed the scars on his lower stomach. They were made so, recently.

He changed and soon after, practice started. Kenma still couldn't focus. They did a 3 v 3 with Kenma, Yaku, and Lev on team 1, and Kuroo, Yamamoto, and Shibayama on team 2. Kenma was missing many tosses. Kuroo looked at Kenma with guilt in his eyes, he knew it was because of what happened that morning. Coach Nekomata had to call a timeout just to make sure he was okay.

"You should take a break to get yourself focused" He said. Kenma nodded his head and took a sip of water from his water bottle. Kenma glanced over at Kuroo only to find that he was looking at him too. Kuroo quickly looked away, hoping that Kenma didn't notice him looking. Kenma looked back at his water bottle once Kuroo looked away. After Kenma's little water break, Kenma still couldn't focus. He couldn't get that image out of his head. Kenma just couldn't accept the fact that Kuroo was suicidal.

Kenma had to sit out for the rest of practice. He just wasn't thinking right, he didn't have a clear head. Once practice was over, Kenma went to go get changed. Kuroo and Kenma were walking home together, like always. There was an awkward silence. "Kuroo, can I come over tonight?" Kenma asked. "Y-yeah" Kuroo said. Something was seriously wrong, Kuroo never stuttered. Not even a little bit. They walked into Kuroo's house and were immediately greeted by Kuroo's father. 

"Oh! Tetsurou, you're home! I see that you brought Kenma along as well, hello!" He greeted excitedly. "Hello, Kuroo-san" Kenma said. "Come on, all me Kado, you've been here long enough, no need to be so formal!" He said with a laugh. "Right, sorry" Kenma said. "Well, would you boys like anything to eat?" Kuroo's dad asked. "I'm fine, thank you for the offer though" Kenma said. "What about you, Tetsurou?" He asked. "I'll eat later, for now we're gonna go to my room to do homework" Kuroo said. "Okay, be sure to eat something though" He said. 

(A/N
I picked a random name for the dad, don't come at me)

They walked in Kuroo's room, and they sat down on Kuroo's bed. "Why? Why do you do that?" Kenma asked. "I don't have a reason to anymore, really. It was more like something that happened in the past that made me start, and once you start it's hard to get yourself out of that pit" Kuroo said. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened, that made you, y'know" Kenma said. "It was my mother. She would always come home drunk, she hated my guts, and she would always pick a fight with my dad. I would sleep in a way where I was basically suffocated in my pillow to try and drown out the noises, but it wouldn't work that well. So what I did was hurt myself. I would hurt myself until I passed out. My hair was always a mess from the attempt in drowning out the noises. I only still do it now, well it's hard to explain, but old habits die hard" Kuroo said.

By now Kenma was already crying, he hugged onto Kuroo so hard. "I'm really sorry, Kitten" Kuroo said. "Please, try and stop" Kenma asked. "I've been trying, it just gets very hard sometimes" Kuroo admitted. "Well, whenever you get the urges to cut again, you could call me, and I could help you" Kenma recommended. "But you would be asleep and I don't wanna bother you and-" "Kuroo. If I wasn't okay with this, and I didn't want to be bothered then I wouldn't have told you the idea" Kenma said, interrupting Kuroo. "Kenma" Kuroo started. "Hm?" Kenma responded. "Can you sleep over tonight?" Kuroo asked. "Of course" Kenma said.

1208 words

(A/N Hope you guys like this part! I did at like 3 am because I wanted to so don't be shocked if it's bad.)