The Life of a Fake Boy || KuroKen Angst

1

Tetsuro Kuroo, a faked smile. Faked happiness. Faked personality. The Fake Boy. His school life and volleyball practice was perfect, he wouldn't have it any other way. It was his life at home that really messed with him. His mother and father would always be fighting over the dumbest things. Anything they could possibly fight over, they would. It was always so loud and annoying so Kuroo would have to drown in out by sleeping with his head suffocated in his pillow. That's why he is called a "Bed-head" by his friends and teammates. 

If his pillow couldn't drown the noise out with his pillow, he would often hurt himself until he passed out. Most of the time it would resort to that. It wasn't the healthiest thing, but whatever works, y'know? Nobody knew about this habit of his, hell not even Kenma despite how observant he is. He never wanted his problems to worry others. His mother would always yell at him whenever he wasn't perfect. A mistake that should have never been born. She phrases it. Kuroo listened to her, even though she was wrong on so many levels.

Another secret Kuroo kept hidden, was the fact that he had a huge crush on Kenma. He loves Kenma with all of his heart, Kuroo doesn't even love himself. Nobody knew he was gay, he gets cheesy love letters from cute girls at school so everyone assumed he was straight. He didn't know how everyone would react, he already knew that his mother was extremely h0m0ph0bic, so he never told anyone. He was afraid they would hate him, so afraid that he cried himself to sleep every night. 

He always told himself lies that made him hate himself even more, whenever he couldn't sleep he took at that anger out on himself. Normally, Kuroo did the same thing every night:

One cut for being a f*g
Two cuts for being useless
Three cuts for being dumb
Four cuts for liking Kenma
Five cuts
Six
Seven...
Eight-teen

Kuroo had made over eight-teen fresh cuts on his thigh and lower stomach, the pain drowned all noise from his parents so he was pleased. Having feeling satisfied with his work, he crawled back into his bed and rested his eyes. He fell asleep without anymore distractions from his parents fighting, or his mind running wild again. Sleep was something Kuroo needed, an escape from reality where he can live in a dream. He often dreams about being with Kenma, but of course most dream never become reality. Kuroo had no hopes of getting with Kenma, but he would love to.

Kuroo also had mini panic attacks, that's how he found out he had depression. Not one of his finest moments. He went to the doctors office, by himself. The doctors had him fill out a test, and they had explained to him that he had anxiety and depression. He had to take anti-depressions daily, when someone saw the bottle he pulled it off as vitamin D3 capsules. Everyone thinks he has the perfect life, but in order to be perfect, you have to be acting on a permanent stage that we call life. 

Kuroo eventually moved out of that house to move into a different house with his Dad and Grandpa. They are both super nice, yes, but Kuroo never got rid of his old habits. Old habits die hard, as they say. He would still slice away at his skin each night, feeding himself lies about himself. He just hated himself so much, and he wanted to express that. Kuroo also never changed the way he slept, even if there was no noise to drown out, he had slept like that all his life so he wasn't going to be, so easy to just suddenly stop.

Anyway onto the actual story now, the life of a fake boy, Kuroo Tetsurou. 

Kuroo was on his way to school, he walked beside his best friend Kenma. They talked for a little bit, it was more of a one sided conversation since Kenma was on his psp the whole time. He would occasionally respond though so it wasn't all that bad.Once they made it to the school, the two friends had walked into the gym. Lev commented on Yaku's height again getting him a kick in the ass, other people were chatting like usual. Nothing out of the ordinary. This was everyday stuff for the Nekoma team.

Kuroo and Kenma walked into the changing room, normally Kuroo would get pulled into some mess as to where he wouldn't have to change in front of Kenma. He would always find some sort of excuse, but today was different. He had to change in the same room as Kenma. Now this happened a lot more often than before so Kuroo knew what to do just in case he had to change in front of someone.

He was getting ready to take his shirt off to change it, he took of his shirt quickly but dropped the shirt he was changing into. 'Shit!!' Kuroo thought. Kenma had already finished changing and he noticed that Kuroo dropped his shirt. He picked it up and handed it to Kuroo since he was quicker. Kenma handed Kuroo the shirt and saw the little scars all over his best friend's stomach. "Kuroo?" Kenma asked, wide eyed.

Kuroo grabbed the shirt quickly slid it on, and ran out the room. "Nyoom Nyoom Mothafucka!" Kuroo shouted as he bolted out of the gym doors. "Kuroo!" Kenma shouted as he tried to run after Kuroo. Everyone else on the team watched in shock as their setter ran after there captain with no explanation. 

944 Words

A/N
This whole beginning part of the chapter was just me calling myself out but carry on