"I HATE YOU!"
That was the last thing I told my brother a day ago. The entirety of tomorrow was going to be packing. Today was my last full day with family before heading to college. Honestly, I had always been enthralled by the idea of leaving my mom(who couldn't stop screaming), my dad(who was more of a businessman than a father), and my brother(who's full-time job was making my life miserable). Sure, they weren't abusive in any way, but that didn't stop them from being intolerable, on a different level.
'At least I could call on child services if they were abusive.'
So when they threatened to send me to a hostel if I didn't behave, I'd learned to respond with- 'I'd love to.' They never said anything after that, until the next day, at least. Their way of saying- 'This conversation is over.', I guess. There had always been a very short period of tension after that. So leaving to St.Rayon's college should seem like heaven right? Wrong.
It did, until today. If I ever, even once in my miserable life, felt the amount of guilt I did today morning as I brushed my teeth, staring at my frazzled reflection in the cracked mirror, I must have the emotional capacity of a dolphin.
Because that is when I realized that every time my mother screamed at me, it was for my own good. And not just the people telling me parents love their kids, but realized myself that it was her that predicted which nights I'd be up under the covers with all thoughts of sleep miles from my mind just so she could snatch my phone away and scream some more, but not because she hated me. It was because she was worried.
My dad didn't just decide to call me to study with him when I wasn't doing well, he made the time for me and probably got a yelling or pay cut for it later.
I realized, staring at that cracked mirror with the toothbrush still in my mouth that every time my brother asked for a hug, it might not have been to annoy me.
Then and there I realized, with toothpaste dribbling out of my partly open mouth that today was my last day with my family.
