Chapter Four

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Phoenix

Between the sounds of our dogs barking downstairs and my mom hollering for them to be quiet, I was officially wide awake.

I rolled over to check the time. 9 am. I ran my hands through my hair, staring up at the ceiling. My eyes closed as I let out a deep sigh, remembering the nightmare last night was. I barely slept after everything that happened with Scar. As soon as she took off, it didn't take me long to make an excuse to leave the party. There was way too much flooding through my head, and this morning it's still as cloudy and messed up as last night, if not worse. The number of times I texted and called her to explain...shit, I lost count. I was thinking about showing up at her house, but that would have only made things more awkward with Aunt Sawyer and Wolfie.

Just then, my phone buzzed, and my hand snatched it from the charger like a bolt of lightning. I was disappointed when I saw it was just an email notification though.

My phone flew over to the other side of my bed as I threw it down in frustration. "Damn it," I fell back on my pillow.

Scar just doesn't understand. I wanted to say exactly what she wanted to hear from me but admitting that? Fuck, it's more complicated than she'll ever know. If those words come out of my mouth...the ones her sweet ocean blue eyes were staring back into mine, waiting for me to say, nothing would ever be the same again. There would be no going back, and that scares the hell out of me. You can't take back feelings once they are out there. And not everyone in our life would be accepting of those feelings as she may think. God, I feel like I ran down a tunnel, got lost, and now I have only two paths to choose to get out. Both with consequences, but which way do I go?

I groan, feeling a headache coming on. Shit, I need some coffee.

Since I couldn't make any decisions or try and fix things right now, I got up out of bed. I threw on some sweats and a t-shirt before going downstairs.

When I got there, I headed to the kitchen where I saw my mom on the counter with my dad being all handsy.

I grimaced. "Yeah, this is not the first thing I wanted to see in the morning, or ever actually."

They both turned around, startled by my voice.

"Oh, hey sweetie," My mom slid down onto her feet, brushing her hair back behind her shoulders.

My dad awkwardly smiled. "Didn't think you would be up till at least noon."

They looked like two teenagers that got caught by their parents as I walked over to the kitchen island.

"I wish I could have slept till then," I said, sitting on one of the stools.

Mom leaned against the countertop. "We were surprised when we heard you come home early last night."

"Yeah, we thought you'd be out late celebrating the first night off you've had from school and baseball in a long time," My dad softly smiled.

"I was feeling a little tired, so I left early. I'm sure Ryder celebrated enough for both of us last night though."

Dad chuckled as my mom raised a brow. "Are you feeling alright? You look..."

"Like shit," My dad chimed in.

She quickly smacks him on the chest as I quietly laughed.

"Nineteen years married, and you still haven't learned how to hold that tongue babe," She rolled her eyes while he smiled without any shame.

"I'm fine, really. Just didn't sleep that well," I reassured her.

My mom stared at me for a few seconds before turning around and pouring a cup of coffee. "Then I think this has your name on it," She walks over, handing me the mug before rubbing back a couple of times.

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