A/B/O || Jinkook

50. Getting things sorted

"Go to a bar or something?"

"You know I've quit drinking."

"Oh, right. Well, you'll figure something out. See ya!"

He shuts the door to their bedroom behind him and almost right away I can hear them giggling to each other. I quickly put on my jacket and some gloves before exiting the apartment. On my way down the stairs my eyes automatically go to Seokjin's door. Through the slight cracks in the doorframe I see that the lights are on, meaning he's home. Maybe he has his mate there with him. Are they giggling like Jimin and Taehyung just did? I remember we used to be like that once. All it took was one look at him and seemingly I could tell everything that was going through his head. It feels so long ago now. There's no way for me to tell what he's thinking right now. I haven't seen him at all since that time outside by his car. It's for the better. Even if I saw him I would pretend like I don't know him either way.

I walk out of the building and and immediately whine at the bad weather. It's freezing cold and snowing. Thankfully it's not too windy though. If possible I would've liked to die during the blossoming spring, but it is what it is. I start aimlessly wandering around, just looking at the lights in people's windows, wondering what they could be doing in there while I'm out here. I pet dogs that walk by and stop here and there to breathe in the cold winter air. It's all very calming despite the cold biting my skin. 

Eventually I find myself on the bridge. Not just a bridge, it's the bridge. I decided a while ago that this would be a suitable spot. It's high enough and there's not much people walking around since this area is just full of office buildings that no one wants to look at. The view over the water is nice though. You can see the city lights in the distance and it's fairly quiet aside from any occasional cars. I like it. Hopefully it'll be painless. Even if it isn't it'll only hurt for a short moment. After that I won't feel anything ever again. 

⩶ΑβΩ⩶

Just like Jimin wanted, I start returning home two hours later. My face is so cold from walking around that I think it might just fall off. I enter the building in a hurry but halfway up the stairs I abruptly stop at the sound of Seokjin's door opening. I silently hide behind the wall to make sure he doesn't see me and hold my breath. 

"Wait, before you go," he says and I realize he's saying goodbye to someone. "Just tell me how he's holding up. You haven't spoken of him in a while and I just... I need to know."

Just as I'm wondering what he's referring to, I hear Yoongi's signature sigh. Yoongi has been at Seokjin's? I guess that makes sense since he checks up on him every once in a while. He and Namjoon still do some renovation work too. ...Does that mean they're talking about me? 

"I thought you didn't want to know anything," Yoongi says. "You forbid me of talking about you to him, so it's a bit unfair if I give out information to you, don't you think? You should make up your mind about whether to keep your distance or not."

"I know, but it's just been so long. Last time I saw him he acted really weird. He said it was fine if I forgot about him and all kinds of stuff. He's the one who wanted me to stay away. I'm worried. I can't sleep at night and I've been having constant nightmares. Is he getting worse? I think seeing the mark on my neck broke him, Yoongi. I didn't get the chance to tell him the truth and I wasn't sure if it even was my place to do so. How would he react hearing those words come out of my mouth? He might've snapped and blamed himself for it. You know what he's like. I'm just so scared for him. If something happens to him because of me I could never forgive myself."

"Lately he's been doing great. He goes to school and helps me with the cooking on his own accord. He eats with a good appetite and I've seen him playing games with Taehyung a couple times. He's been pretty normal considering the circumstances."