A/B/O || Jinkook

47. Family meeting nr. 4

"Yeah, I hear you sobbing through the walls all fucking night," Taehyung says. "I would like to say that it's a bad thing, but personally it kinda reminds me of ASMR and it helps me sleep. Jimin ain't happy though."

"No I'm not," he says. "I want to sleep but you're just so damn loud. I feel bad for you, I really do, but this has to stop. And Namjoon-hyung has a point, how are you gonna win him back if you keep acting like this?"

I huff at them.

"I won't win him back even if I try. He wants nothing to do with me. I betrayed his trust, which I know is very hard to get in the first place, and now he's rejected me as a result."

"So you're not even gonna try?"

"There's no point in trying. I'll just be rejected again. He literally told me to never show my face in front of him again."

"Then what are you gonna do? Just stay in bed for the rest of your life and cry?"

"No."

"Then what's your plan?"

"I'm gonna die."

They all stop and look at me. The concern is just annoying to me right now. I don't want them to worry about me. Can't I just perish in peace? I want to disappear without a trace, as if I never existed to begin with. 

"Your plan is to die?" Hoseok says. "Sorry, Kook, but that sounds like a very bad plan."

"It's not like I have much choice anyway. Seokjin wanted me gone and my heart is tearing itself apart as a result. I'll die from it eventually, so what's the point in trying to get my life on track if I don't get to do anything with it anyway?"

"But like, isn't that motivation enough to make you wanna desperately win him back? If you somehow manage to do that then you'll be saved for good."

"But he doesn't want me back! That's the whole fucking problem! Even if I go there and beg him on my bare knees he'll just turn me away again! Unless he wants to forgive me then there's nothing I can do. Trying to force him will solve nothing."

"But that's why you have to prove to him that he wants you back," Namjoon says. "If he thinks you've grown as a person then he might change his mind about you. Make yourself irresistible to him."

"And how would I do that?" I huff. 

"I dunno. Get a job? If anything that would give you some cash to spend."

"Yeah, we're all tired of you freeloading," Taehyung chimes in. "At least pay rent again."

"That's not what I was referring to, but yes, it would be nice if you paid rent, Jungkook. No pressure though."

I can only sigh. Is that what this meeting is actually about? They're tired of me? I feel bad too about not contributing anything. Guess they feel the same as Seokjin did while trying to provide for me. I suppose since I don't go to the swim club anymore I might as well get a job. At the very least it'll get these guys off my back for a while. I don't want to be a burden.

⩶ΑβΩ⩶

The day after the meeting I forced myself out of bed and went back to the café Seokjin and I used to work at. They accepted me right away, saying something about how having a handsome alpha will help attract customers. Maybe the world is a lot more shallow than I used to think. Do they want me here just because I'm good-looking? I wonder how difficult it'd be for me to get a more proper job. Seokjin said they don't want to hire omegas, but I suppose almost anyone would want an alpha. We're seen as independent and strong, which would be fitting for a lot of jobs. 

I wouldn't describe myself like that though. If anything that description fits Seokjin to a tee. I'm not independent at all and I'm not strong either. Without other people telling me what to do I'd be completely lost. Maybe that's why Seokjin will never want me back. I'm both an awful partner and an awful alpha in general. 

"Jessica, remember to smile!" the manager scolds as my coworker decorates some pastries. 

"But I'm not even greeting the customers?" the girl says in confusion. 

"Even so they might see you in here and it's important for you to give off a good impression. It affects the store."

"...Alright, ma'am, I'll do my best."

She puts on a fake smile while continuing with her work in the kitchen. How stupid. No one is going to see her in there, so why bother? The manager comes up to me and realizes I heard their conversation.

"Oh, don't worry, Jungkook. You don't need to feel forced to smile unless you want to. Girls will like it even if you just look intimidating."

"...I see. I'll do that then."

She leaves the store to go pick up some wares and this really makes me see the injustice. Why am I not forced to smile? I remember the times I saw Seokjin in here and he sure as hell always wore a smile on his face. I thought it was professionalism, but maybe he was told to do it. I'm left off the hook since alphas aren't meant to be friendly to strangers. So dumb. It makes me want to smile at every customer out of spite, but I'm in too bad of a mood to do that. I guess I'll just practice looking intimidating instead. If I get really good at it I might scare people away and that means more time for me to do nothing.

The doorbell rings and a group of high school girls comes in. I put on my best frown and cross my arms to seem nonchalant. One of the girls looks at me and immediately starts whispering to her friend. It makes me wonder is she's scared, but I doubt it from the excited smile on her face. They come up to the counter after eyeing the menu for a while.

"What can I get you?" I ask. 

"Just some lemonades and uh, maybe my friend could get your number too?" one of them answers before they all start giggling. "You're single, right? You don't have any other scent on you and you seem kinda sad, so we figured we might as well ask."

Is this really happening? They ask for my number just like that? No one has really ever openly flirted with me before unless you count the girl at the strip club. Perhaps I'm more attractive than I think, or maybe it's just the concept of me they're interested in. If they actually knew how pathetic I am then no one would like me. It doesn't matter either way. I promised Seokjin I would never cheat on him again. Even if we're technically not together anymore I still plan on keeping that promise. I won't betray him again. 

"My apologies, ladies, but I can't give you my number. I'm already married."

The girls gasp and give me strange looks.

"What? No way! You're too young to be married and pardon if I'm being rude but your scent tells me you're not very happy."

"I love my husband very much, even if it doesn't seem like it."

I lift my hand to show them the ring and they're all in disbelief. For the first time in a while I'm actually somewhat amused. Who would've thought it'd be so much fun turning someone down. It feels good telling them I'm already taken. In the past no one would even think about approaching me this way since I was always covered in my mate's scent. I wonder what Seokjin would say if he knew I went around telling people we're married. He'd probably get angry since it's not true. I needn't mention his name though. Seemingly the ring is enough for people to back off.