Behind Your Walls

06 | roommates

"I didn't lie," he deadpans, bringing my attention back to his face from his abs.

I feel myself blushing, embarrassed that he must have seen me watching him.

"You lied to your Dad's face."

"I didn't lie and as long as you stay here, you have to believe that this is the truth."

His words are so casual. I am stunned at the way they flow so easily through his mouth. It is like he almost believes that he didn't lie. As if I am his girlfriend.

"Just so you know, I have no intention of dating you just because I said you're cool."

He raises an eyebrow, not bothering to wear his T-shirt yet which makes the conversation even more difficult as he starts walking closer. I take a step back as he takes a step forward, moving slowly like he is testing me for a reaction.

"I shouldn't be here. I...I should leave..." I blabber nervously.

I turn around, ready to open the door to head out. All the decisions I have taken within the last few hours weigh me down and I regret ever leaving my house. I pull at the knob but the door doesn't open.

"Stay," Carter's voice is close to my ear, his hot breath heating my neck.

I look up and find his palm pressed against the door, preventing it from opening. I catch his scent — a fresh, woody cologne mixed with the rain. I turn around again, my pulse racing faster as I find myself pressed between his body and the door. His other hand reaches forward and he places it beside me, blocking any escape. He leans closer, just like he did on the bus but his eyes aren't confused this time. They look upset.

"I need you, Amaya. Help me out and I'll help you in turn," he says, bending low enough so that his eyes are meeting mine.

He looks tired like he would desperately do with some sleep. There are dark patches underneath his eyes and for the first time, I notice a small brown scar running through a side of his face. It is not just that one scar. There are several white cuts across his visage, dusting his handsome features although they are barely visible from afar.

"How?" I whisper.

"You need a place to stay. I don't care why so no need to tell me. The thing is...I can shelter you for as long as you want. You can share my house, my room, even my bed, I won't mind." He notices me blink at the last sentence and I see his little smirk before he continues. "You can have all that only for one thing in return. Be my girlfriend."

My breath catches at those words. "What? We don't even know each other."

"We don't have to. I need you to just pretend that you are. In front of my Dad and Melody. Just pretend. No asking questions. That's the only condition."

Our eyes are locked together. I look for some sign that he is just playing games with me. Carter Bell is asking me to be his fake girlfriend! I have never given any thought to that possibility. Surely, Carter Bell is the guy who I happen to have a strong fascination with but that's always been a stupid crush. Now I am in his room and he is asking me to help him out by helping myself. This feels too unreal.

My hand raises itself involuntarily in those quiet seconds and I place it on his bare chest.

I hear the sharp intake of his breath. His skin is hot and I drag my palm to his left side, feeling for his heart. I want to know the way his heart beats when he is speaking things like that, to ensure that he isn't crazy. I feel the rhythm of his heart, unsteady and fast. It ticks against my palm and he looks down to see what I am doing. When he notices that my hand isn't moving any further, he looks back up, meeting my eyes again. I have the faint illusion that I might have noticed a flicker of disappointment in his irises.

His heartbeat tells me he isn't joking. Whatever it is is serious and that makes me caress that part of his chest. For some reason, I want his heart to slow down because its beats are quicker than mine. He closes his eyes at my actions and pulls away in an instant. He walks a few steps back until there is an appropriate distance between us. His fingers find their way to his belt as he pulls at the buckle.

"Turn around if it makes you uncomfortable."

It takes me a moment to understand that he wants to change into a fresh pair of jeans. My skin burns hot at the memory of his closeness and I turn around just as I hear the click of the buckle opening. I hear the rustle of clothes as I stand facing the door, my body trembling at his offer and I find it hard to make a decision.

I need a place to stay and he is giving me just that. If I go somewhere else, I will be sent back home. If I stay, I can be here for Mom. She will be just a few miles away. I can still be close to her. The cost of this choice doesn't seem very expensive. Pretending to be Carter's girlfriend should be easy enough.

I will just have to keep my crush on him as a well-preserved secret.

"You can turn back," Carter says and I turn on my heels to see him dressed.

He is wearing a royal blue jacket this time. He picks up his bag from the floor and pulls a strap over his right shoulder.

"I'll stay," I blurt out before I can choose to ponder over the decision anymore.

He throws me a smile before walking forward. I don't stop watching his movements until he is close enough. With his hand on the knob, he looks at me for what feels like a long time.

"I'll take the couch. You can have the bed."

I nod in a daze. I should feel scared to be left alone in his house, in his room, but there is something in the way he assures me of his return that makes me feel just a little braver.

He opens the door and walks out, shutting it behind him. I look around his room, letting my bag fall off my shoulders and to the floor.

I feel surprisingly safe here, something which I never felt in my own room. Perhaps, it is the feeling of no Panther finding me here, or perhaps, it is just Carter.