Chaotic Tangles!

16|| Stolen Moments - 2

"I missed you like this", Nandini confessed, while it was Manik's turn to pause now, completely still, "You are right. I did have a crush on you, all those years ago, and when I used to stalk through your social media, I was in love with your display picture - the smile always seemed to light up your face, your eyes seemed like they would talk to me if I say something, like you were watching just me - when we first met, those few seconds of your cocky smirk told me I was right, you literally oozed confidence and a certain joy that I was yet to find", Nandini spoke in one breath and watched the colour leave his cheeks as he stole his gaze and began looking elsewhere, "and then I came here, and I met you again but I didn't see that Manik I crushed on, in you ever again, until today - until now, in this moment".

Nandini stopped speaking and turned herself to completely face him instead of half facing the wall like she was before, and paused before extending her hand to hold his right hand in between hers, his hand was warm and he seemed to go rigid at her touch first before relaxing eventually, but she continued to stare at him, and he continued to avoid his gaze.

"When you asked me that day that why do I keep doubting you, and that why I look at you like you were the wrong guy, it was because of this - because I failed to find the Manik I crushed on and fangirled on in the Dr. Manik Malhotra I was seeing in front of me. It pinched me, I felt like either what I knew was a lie, that I read too much into the lines about you then, or it felt like I am doing it now. The two schools of thoughts confused me", Nandini's words made Manik finally look at her and he audibly sighed, finally understanding her plight.

It amused him as well as surprised him - that someone was able to see through him so much, so soon - and through just pictures at that. A certain warmth seemed to find it's way to his heart as he looked at Nandini. He hadn't felt that way in a long time.

"That joy, and whatever me you find missing in me now, is because probably she took it with her", Manik's words were a whisper, his eyes fixed at his mother's picture and Nandini gasped at she understood the implication.

"I lost her an year after we first met - she was the reason I was who I was. She was the sense in my life, she was the reason I chose psychiatry as a post graduation field after Mbbs - against my father's choice. I wanted to treat her - all my hard work and research about schizophrenia, and the drugs and everything was because my zeal was to find a complete cure for my mother - she had been a patient for years then", Manik spoke in a trance and Nandini listened, aware of her goosebumps, "but I failed and she killed herself one night - just moments after she had made sure I had eaten and then had kissed me good night. I thought she was lucid, I still think she was lucid - and that makes it more painful - that she chose to kill herself while being in her senses", he was vaguely aware of the blurriness in his vision as a few tears escaped his eyes and his voice began to crack, "She killed herself and my whole world collapsed. I haven't been able to rebuild it yet".

Nandini watched him with misty eyes, and then stepped closer to loop his arm around here and rest her head against his shoulder. As much as she wanted to hug him, and soothe him, she knew it wasn't the right thing to do. He was vulnerable, and she didn't want to cash that more than required.

"So those pills on the table-?", She left the question incomplete and it made him chuckle a little, nothing escaped her eyes it seemed.

"They are mine. Some days I have a little trouble falling asleep and they help. I try not being too dependent but some nights are just - tougher. Other nights, poetry helps", He grinned, patting her hand. It looked like he was gaining his composure back.

"Ahh, ofcourse. Someone else's pain, the poison of their soul heals the other. Flip sides of the same coin", Nandini tried to shift the conversation to something lighter and it worked for he began to laugh.