●~Not All There Anymore~● |BEING REWRITTEN|

|12| Thank You. Thank You For Saving Me When I Didn't Want To Be

"W- well, you see," Izuku stalled for time, nervously laughing as Hizashi continued to be confused. Although it seemed he had some semblance of knowledge, because he was currently looking at Midoriya with pity, as if he were planning the boy's funeral. Shouta continued to give the stare that seemed as if he were staring into Izuku's soul.

"Well?"

Izuku groaned once more before lifting his head. "Well, I'm just saying, plain black coffee with no sugar or creamer is an insult to all coffee. We had so many choices at that café too! Lattes, frappes, mochas, tons of creamers, it's a mini bar for coffee! And you get plain black coffee with nothing in it. I'm just saying that's a bit screwed up, Sensei." Izuku crossed his arms and gave a solemn expression, now participating in a staring contest with Aizawa.

Shouta tutted, shaking his head and leaning over to pat Izuku's fluffy locks. Izuku stared at him in confusion as the man continued to make tutting noises. "You are so young, so naive, child. You know nothing of coffee."

"I'm sorry, I worked at two cafes-"

Shouta ignored him, raiding an index finger as if he were some kind of professor. "Now, the purpose of coffee is to wake you up, and all that nonsense about creamers and sugar and fancy whatnot completely drowns out the caffeine! Contrary to popular opinion, sugar does not wake you up, caffeine does." Hizashi slowly scooted back from the heated battle of coffee, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'Where's Sato and his endless supply of popcorn when you need him?'

Izuku leaned forward, a glare in his eyes and a determined smirk on his face. Shouta mirrored him, a silence befalling the two, the quiet only broken by the monitors. Thanks for the reminder, Kai. We're in a hospital. Oh shit, that's breaking the fourth wall-

Izuku gave a victorious (tonight we are victorious, champagne pourin' over us, all my friends are glorious, tonight we are vic-tor-ri-ous, oh, oh, oh, OH! VIC-TOR-RI-OUS!- okay I'll stop now) shout, raising his own finger and pointing it at his teacher. "Ha! But, without anything in the coffee, it's bland and has no flavor, therefore ruining the true enjoyment of such a prestigious and truly artistic masterpiece!" Shouta clicked his tongue, shaking his head. Izuku gave an angry pout, obviously unappreciative of his teacher's patronizing tone. He crossed his arms and glared, looking his teacher up and down. "Well, you think you've got something better?"

Shouta gave a mocking laugh, raising his head to look to the ceiling. "Why of course I do, you fool. I am the coffee lord!" On the opposite side of the bed, Hizashi gave a cackle-wheeze. "While such a drink is a true masterpiece, prestigious in every sense of the word, such mockery and nonsense inside of it masks the true magnificence. All those treacherous add-ons blind your taste buds. Besides, it also makes you tired, not energized. And it leaves a horrible after taste." Izuku gave a bitter laugh, sarcasm overtaking his expression.

"Plain black coffee is the one giving a horrible after taste! It's so bitter!" Shouta shrugged, as if to say 'what can you do?'.

"You weaklings have no taste buds."

"Yours are burned off!" Hizashi gave a nervous laugh, quickly moving to put his arm between the two glaring figures.

"Okay, that's enough. How about we move on to the little listener's turn?" Both males gave a huff and sat back. Hizashi gave a sigh of relief, wiping his brow of the droplets of sweat that had gathered during the heated battle. Izuku tapped his chin ruefully, obviously planning some kind of revenge for Aizawa taking the last word. A (rather terrifying) gleam shone in his eyes, vengeance clearly on his agenda.

Shouta was confident he'd grow to regret any and all life choices that led him to order that black coffee. That was a lot of life choices.

"Hmmm.... Mr. Aizawa. May I Ask. How long have you two been married?!" Hizashi gave a pained yell, falling down onto the bed, which resulted in him rolling off of it. He gave a shriek as Shouta facepalmed. Why must I be surrounded by idiots? And whyyyyyyyy the hell is problem child looking at me like that?! Izuku gave an evil smile, which looked a lot more like he was baring his teeth. Shouta shuddered. He was pretty sure Hizashi did too from his defeated slump on the floor.