tummy rumblin' ☘︎︎ rodrick heffley

10

oh my god.

rodrick caught sight of it too as he slowly backed up and yelled in disbelief at the door. the words 'rodrick rules' were massively painted dead center on it and i covered my mouth in shock while walking slowly up to it.

he's dead fucking meat.

"i'll give a nice speech at your funeral..." i muttered, not one shred of humor coming out of me.

"fuck me..." he groaned, throwing his head up as my neck immediately twisted to look at him with wide eyes.

i could feel all the little mj's in my head currently running around and panicking up in their office like that one episode of spongebob.

bless my dear mind.

pushing the dirty thoughts to the back of my head, i straightened myself up as the two boys' gasped, running up to us and seeing what the problem was.

"m-maybe you can paint over it!" greg optimistically suggested.

"i don't know how to make paint!" rodrick defended with his arms thrown up, causing me to look at him incredulously.

the shit that comes out of his mouth sometimes...

"oh! i got it!" greg said as it looked like a lightbulb went off in his head.

"are you sur-"

"yes! there's a spare door in the basement!"

no one said anything as we all just looked at rodrick knowingly. not a hint of guilt came out of him as he shrugged with a proud smile on his face.

i gotta give it to him. he may be a bully, but at least he's a proud one.

"uh okay so......." he started frustrated while looking down at his stupid black watch that actually looked really good on him for whatever reason.

"if my parents called at 10:54 and it's 10:59 right now, that means they'll be here in 17 minutes-"

"5 minutes" i corrected with my head down.

"-5 miNUTES...i totally meant that...wait-oh? OH. OH GOD. FUCK UH OKAY YOU TWO GO HOME RIGHT NOW CAUSE WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANYONE OVER AND WE'LL GET THE DOOR" he panicked as he put his hands on my shoulders for reassurance, most likely for himself.

"oh okay gotchu gotchu" i nodded as joey and i dashed for the front door and out to the lawn.

a bike stuck in one of the bushes caught my eye and i immediately ran up to it, pulling it out as fast as i could and dropping it directly in front of the driveway, hoping it'll buy rodrick and greg some time if they need it.

i quickly pulled the house key out from under our doormat and unlocked the door, quickly pushing joey in as i glanced to my left and saw susan and frank's minivan pulling up into the neighborhood.

after swiftly shutting the door behind me, joey and i simultaneously hunched over with our hands on our knees to catch a breath.

way too much energy has been exerted out of me in just a one hour span, especially at this damn time of the day.

"what...happened...?" mom asked joey and i suspiciously as she walked down the stairs, rivi in suit.