Broken

.26.

"I know." He let out a heavy sigh and a small silence fell between us. Ani sat up and nudged at my knee with her foot, gesturing me to continue the conversation.

"How is training going?" It was all I could think of to say to keep the conversation going. I needed to know as much as I could about him.

"We have not done much. Just went through the itinerary and I will be busy." That was good. I felt relief that he would have something to take his attention off of things. I just hoped he would be busy enough that he wouldn't be able to dwell.

"That's good." It was because it pained me to think he would be feeling as I did when I could fix it. I didn't like the thought just as I knew he didn't.

"How are things in the Learning Centre? Are you learning much?" At that I gave a small grimace. People still hated me and Kher was probably still trying to plot my death.

I shook the thoughts away. "I'm learning a lot about the war with the Kengans and the general history. I know a few words of Orrian now." I was almost excited at the prospect of showing him how much I was learning about his culture.

"Really? Just give me a second." There was the sound of rustling as if the phone was set down before he came back. "Okay, I have my translator out. Show me?" I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted to show him that I wasn't as different or as stupid as everyone thought I was.

"Star year is seh'lan ahske." I stumbled over the foreign words slightly and Rhex chuckled.

"Good! But it is sEH'lan Ahske. But it was good. You are doing very very well." His praise meant the world to me. There was a difference between Ani telling me I did good and having Rhex do it. There was more of a warmth, of a pride to it.

"Hello is ahl'enhe." That one I knew I had spot on and Rhex gave a noise of satisfaction that had me beaming.

"That was perfect." His voice was low and filled with pride and I wiggled in my seat happily. I was happy he thought I was doing well. I wanted to learn as much as I could about his language to actually talk to him without the translators.

"Kengan is Slegranadeh." At that my mood fell slightly. "It's really close to slegrnd." Ani winced at the use of the word and Rhex inhaled sharply.

"Do not use that term, Liviya." His words were harsh and I lowered my gaze to the floor. It was what I was called, a half-breed but they called me a name similar to the one they spat out about their longest standing enemy. It spoke of my place in their society. I wasn't wanted and because of my blood, because of my humanity, I never would be.

"Why? It just illustrates how your culture views me. I am similar to your most hated enemy." I glanced at Ani and she reached out and squeezed my leg, her eyes speaking an apology she had no business giving me. It wasn't her fault or her burden. She shouldn't have had to feel the need to apologize to me on behalf of her culture.

"I cannot understand you. Give me a moment." The rustling was back and Rhex said something guttural to someone in the background before he must have picked the phone back up. "You aren't to use that word, Liviya. Do not let that tarnish who you are." There was a serious reprimand to his tone and I shrugged. I was used to the word, nearly everyone spat it at me when I walked by.

"That is how everyone sees me. I am so close to an enemy-"

"No. You are not that name, Liviya. They call you it but you are Liviya Mary DharSon, you are my mate and my wife. You are more than they could imagine! Do not let that name destroy who you are as a person. You are more than your blood." There was a tense silence before he let out a breath. "Besides that name is inaccurate, you are more than a half-breed. More like two thirds-breed." At his words my mouth dropped open.

"Did you... did you just make a joke?" A wide smile crossed his face before he gave a small strained chuckle.

"Yes." At the rather sheepishly said word I burst out laughing. Ani tilted her head at me and I held my mouth over the phone receiver, trying to stifle my laughter.

"He just made a joke, a very funny inside one." I managed to get it out through chuckles and peals of laughter and Ani slowly nodded, giving me a look that had me laughing harder. I could hear Rhex laughing along with me and I felt a pang in my chest that had the laughter tapering off. "I miss you. So much." Tears burned at my eyes as the words escaped and I pressed my hand to my forehead, fighting back the urge to cry. My dad had told me it would be painful but I didn't expect it would be this bad. I just wanted Rhex to be with me. I ached for it.

"The moon and the stars shined in your eyes the day I took you to the observatory. You looked like you should have been with them because you lit up like nothing I had ever seen before." There was a firm note of longing to his tone that made my breath hitch in my chest.

"Why are you telling me that?" I blinked back the tears but was forced to wipe my eyes to get them to disappear.

"Because I know that when I get back, it will not be the stars that make you light up. It will be me." His voice was rough and I felt my chin quiver from the need to cry. Tears once again flooded my eyes. "I hold onto that with everything that I am." His voice was rougher and he gave a small cough as if to clear a lump from his throat.

"Why does this have to be so messed up?" My words were a whisper and he made a sound in the back of his throat.

"Fifteen weeks. That is all I will ever ask of you, Liv." Fifteen weeks was too much but I had no other options. I had to go through it. I had to listen to his voice and know that he couldn't touch me, couldn't hold me and it hurt. It made everything ache even worse.

"You keep busy." I choked the words out. I couldn't keep it together for any longer and I didn't want him hear me cry.

"Liv..." He gave a heavy sigh. "There are no words to describe how much it aches without you by my side. I never knew how much a soul could ache before I left you." He said it low and I pinched my lips together to keep the sobs at bay as my vision blurred with tears that burned my cheeks. "I need to go but I will call again next week. Remember that I miss you with everything that I am." The line went dead and I sniffled as my chest tightened. I set the phone back in its cradle and closed my eyes. Ani shushed me gently as my shoulders shook from the sobs I stifled behind my hand.

"It will be okay. It will be fine. We will get you through this." She climbed onto the chair with me, wrapping her arms around me tightly, tucking me under her chin. The action reminded me of my mother and I let out a shuddering sob before I clung to her tightly.

Ani was all the comfort I had in this moment. I was alone in the world without her by my side. I was taken from my home and stuck in a sea of what I now knew was hate and I didn't know if I had the strength to keep swimming or if I would simply drown under it all.

"I am here for you and it will be okay." Her words were said with conviction and I held to her tightly. I knew she would be there for me but I also knew it wouldn't be okay until I was wrapped in Rhex's arms. Nothing would make it okay other than that.