Constantly Rejected- Hotch x Reader

Car Ride

You woke up the next morning with a mild hangover. Your head throbbed and you felt sick, but at least you didn't have anywhere to be. You pulled the covers way over your head and sunk further into your bed.

As you drifted back into sleep, your phone rang loudly.

You didn't know where you'd left it last night, and it wasn't in it's spot on your nightstand. You rummaged through your blankets to find the annoyingly loud phone and make it shut up. When you found it, you saw that Hotch was calling.

Maybe he wants me back at work, you thought. I'll tell him no. I still have 3 days left.

"What do you want so early, Hotch?" you grumbled.

"It's 1:30 in the afternoon," he replied. His voice was monotone, there wasn't even a hint of emotion in it.

"Shit, is it?" you asked. You pulled the phone away from your ear and checked the time. 1:32. "Damn. Still, what do you want?"

"We should talk about last night, Y/N."

"What about last night?"

You knew what about last night. Haley.

"Haley."

"There's nothing to talk about. Let me sleep."

"It's way past the acceptable hour to sleep in. Get up, meet me at the café on 3rd in 30 minutes."

"Aren't you at work?" you asked.

"I gave the team the day off. Some of them were worse than you were."

You wondered if you missed anything entertaining. Spencer had brought you back a lot sooner than you had wanted to. In retrospect, you were grateful that he did, otherwise you would be way more hungover.

"I'm gonna need more than 30 minutes, Hotch. I'm still in last night's clothes. My breath tastes like, I don't know, but it ain't pretty."

"30 minutes is plenty of time," he said dryly. "See you there."

He hung up before you could, and so you stumbled out of bed to get ready. You managed to keep your balance when you stood up, which was a good sign. You took a cold shower, vaguely remembering Reid give a long lecture about that being one of the many ways to cure a hangover. You put on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, slipping on sneakers and grabbing your bag before locking your door and leaving. You felt fine enough to drive, you were sure of it.

When you stepped out of the front door to your building, there was a car pulled up alongside the curb. The driver rolled the window down.

"I thought it'd be safer if you didn't drive," Aaron said. "Get in."

You got in without complaint. You knew you could drive if you had to, but were relieved that you didn't.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine," you replied. You closed your eyes and titled your head back against the seat.

"No sleeping," Aaron said.

"Fine."

"So, about last night."

What could he possibly have to say to you? That he really was just looking for a rebound? Emily was right. You should've seen it from the start! How long had he known that Haley wanted to fix things? Had they been "back together" when he approached you in the first place? Or when he invited you over to his house?

"I have a lot to say. Are you listening?"

You were staring blankly at the road ahead. You nodded your head once.

"Good. Okay. I don't really want to get back together with her. But I also want Jack to have the best possible life. If she really thinks being together will make things better for him, then does it make me a bad father to stay away?"

"Sometimes you have to put yourself first, Aaron," you responded. You kept looking ahead.

"That's what Spencer said. He said 'if you're not happy with her, then you've got to do what's right for you.' I think he's right. Is Jack going to be okay? He'll get over it, right?"

Tough question. Your father left you and your mom when you were eight. Had you really ever gotten over it? You guessed this was different, though, because Jack wouldn't be losing a father. He just wouldn't see him every day. You thought that if your father had come back at all, even infrequently, you would be much better off, emotionally, then you were now.

"He'll be fine. Trust me," you said.

"How can you be sure?"

"Nobody can be sure of anything, Aaron. You should know that. I'm not just telling you what you want to hear, I really think Jack will do perfectly fine."

"I think so too. I should call Haley and tell her I don't want to do whatever we're doing."

You remembered when you went into Hotch's office at work to drop off files. You could see the divorce papers, unsigned, on his desk.

"Didn't she serve you the divorce papers?" you asked. It would only be his fault if he got angry at your question.

"Well, yeah. But, I think we were out of love for a while. She shamed me for always working. I can't live with that kind of constant guilt anymore."

You weren't expecting an answer like that. You thought you'd get something more manly out of Hotch. You actually felt bad for him. You pulled your eyes from the road and looked at his face. You put your left hand on his knee. He smiled at the gesture.

"I didn't mean what I said," he said.

You titled your head to the side, which he must've seen out of the corner of his eye.

"The other day, in my office. I didn't mean what I said. If we were to- be together- I wouldn't want it to be a one time thing."

Holy shit. Did Hotch just say what you think he said?

"I think- I think I have feelings for you, Y/N. But, with Haley and everything, I just feel so confused all the time. I don't like being confused. It makes me angry. And you confuse me, so that explains that part, I guess."

Holy shit. Did Hotch just say what you think he said?

He searched your face for some kind of answer as he stopped at a red light. "Are you going to reply?" he asked.

What was going on right now? You were taking a break from work to get over Hotch. You even went to therapy for him! Why was he trying to derail any future progress you could make? Were you really going to backtrack on your quest for self-love to date some old, mean man?

Yeah, probably.

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a/n: hi!! short chapter for today but I'll publish another one really soon! thank you guys for all the love on this story. it means so much to me! if you liked what you read, please vote and comment!

love you all! have a great day/night :)

also, i'm trying to incorporate more of y/n's thoughts between lines of dialogue, cause i noticed that in real books there's less of a line after line thing and more of the main characters thoughts between each line thing. it's different for me but i think it'll be better. i don't know if this makes sense to anyone else.