Constantly Rejected- Hotch x Reader

Author's Night (End)

Your Perspective: Present Day

Aaron: Be there in an hour. Be ready.

Tonight was Author's Night, something you had been excited for since your first date with Aaron. Truthfully, you wished you hadn't forgotten about it for so long. You wondered what kind of great short stories and poetry you had missed in the last two months. 

You were basically ready to leave the house when Aaron texted you. You were so excited, you decided to get ready early. Now you had some time to kill. For just a moment, you thought about Spencer. This is something he would totally love. You considered inviting him, but he'd probably say no anyways. And Hotch would be upset with you.

You and Spencer had been mutually ignoring each other since Hotch made your relationship official at work. You didn't understand why you two couldn't be friends anymore. You knew that his feelings were hurt, but he's a grown man. He should be able to get over a crush. If Hotch had stayed with Haley, you would have moved on. Right?

You would've tried, at least. In all honesty, you probably would have given in to Spencer just to take your mind off of Aaron. Which would have been totally wrong of you. You would have faked happiness your whole life instead of going after what you wanted. At least Spence would've been happy. 

You wanted to text him. To ask how he was doing. Aside from working together on cases, you two hadn't spoken in such a long time. You missed Spencer, you really did. But with Aaron around, he just wasn't a priority. And you felt really bad about that. You walked over to your dresser and pulled out the Caltech hoodie. You hadn't worn it in a long time, worried that Hotch would make you get rid of it. You knew he would never do that, but you couldn't help but worry. Maybe you were just making excuses not to wear it so you didn't have to think about Reid.

You pulled out your phone.

You: Hey. How are you?

You sat staring at your screen for five minutes before it lit up with a new message.

Spencer: Hi. I'm good, you?

You: Good! So, what've you been up to?

You watched as the three dots appeared and disappeared before a text finally came through.

Spencer: Look, Y/N, I really don't know why you're talking to me. Not that I mind, I'm just confused. We haven't spoken in months. Why start now?

Spencer: Sorry, that came off meaner than I intended. I just know that you're only texting me because you feel guilty. I don't need your pity, or want it. As long as you're with Hotch, we can't be friends.

You: But why? Why does it have to be like that, Spence?

Spencer: C'mon, Y/N. Don't call me Spence. 

Spencer: You know why it has to be like this. You think my feelings for you have changed just cause you're dating someone else? You think I just stopped loving you?

Loving me? Spencer can't love me. Hotch and I don't even love each other. How can Spencer love me?

You didn't answer.